Helping my third grader build writing skills is like making pizza; layer one ingredient on at a time.
The process sometimes feels like a struggle with a disability like FASD layered on top – but it nonetheless feels like I’m watching something special grow from infancy.
It brings back fond memories of the early days, when I obsessed over T being able to stack three blocks on top of another because that’s what toddlers were supposed to do developmentally; or counting the handful of words he could say; or reading his first words.
His short treasured history teaches us it’s about one step, one block, one sound, one word at a time.
Writing for T is a work in progress; he most certainly is not a fan of writing assignments.
If caregivers think doing homework with kids is tough, try layering on a disability that affects emotion regulation and impulse control.
I get called “dumb idiot,” “stupid fucker” or “fucking bitch” for initiating homework. And this is for spelling practice. I can’t wait for the nuclear meltdown when we work on essays one day. 🤣
Like pineapple on a pizza, I try not to take it personally, because it’s the FASD talking and once his verbal emotional diarrhea comes out and we co-regulate, he can do the work.
Consistency and routine are important for learning, even more so for children with FASD.
Occasional choice of words aside, T is a great storyteller and I’m often amused when I play with him or watch him play at how creative, articulate, funny and charming he is.
The trick is to help him translate all that good stuff and potential on the page.
Writing comes easier for me, as it’s long been an area of interest; it’s what I studied in my undergrad and I’ve done freelance work.
I am fascinated by the writing process and enjoy learning from others about their approach to writing, such as through Stephen King’s excellent memoir “On Writing” and William Strunk’s essential work “The Elements of Style.”
Learning practice is an important part of our weekend routine with T.
We block off 30 minutes each morning to read and do one activity focused on math or writing.
The key is to help him build mental models and learn how conventions like a title, introduction, transitions and conclusion all fit together.
T’s class was recently assigned a two-part procedural writing assignment: part one was to write detailed steps about how to make something and part two was to present it to the class.
T picked making pizza as his topic.
He and I first verbally listed the steps, which I wrote down. Then I had him write out the steps, including an introduction, transition words, and conclusion, helping him with spelling.
I think he did a very good job!
T then practiced hard over the weekend on his presentation.
We identified props he could use: dough, tray, pizza sauce (in a squeeze bottle), shredded cheese.
We discussed what his teacher expected: to talk clearly, not too fast or slow; regular eye contact; transition words; use props; detailed steps.
T loves to film “influencer videos,” so we filmed and watched practice videos to motivate him.
On the big day, the hubby and I got an excited text from his CYW that T did an excellent job.
“T explained how to make a pizza. He was very clear and he spoke to the audience. He even told them how long to bake a pizza for. As well as to cut up into triangle shapes and wait for it to cool then eat. Amazing.”
We were so proud and told T he did a great job.
As a reward, T got takeout for dinner – yes, not eating my cooking is a reward. 😆
His choice? Taco Bell. I guess he had enough of pizza.
My Life With T 