The energy we send into the universe is the energy we invite into our lives.
I found this belief challenged the past few weeks, because of T’s chaos – meltdowns, foul language, rude attitude, defiant behaviour at school.
It was draining – and at one point, I told the hubby I did not have the energy nor desire to keep doing this.
“When I was very young
Nothing really mattered to me
But making myself happy
I was the only one
Now that I am grown
I’ll never be the same
Because of you.”– “Nothing Really Matters”
Hindsight is the best teacher, because reflecting while I write this post, I am reminded that I can and want to do this.
Parenting is about tipping the scale towards your child’s favour, as they draw upon your energy to grow.
Parenting a child with FASD can feel unrelentingly thankless, because you expend a lot of energy and get disproportionate chaos in return.
“Nothing really matters
Love is all we need
Everything I give you
All comes back to me.”– “Nothing Really Matters”
The best parenting advice – and the hardest lesson I constantly re-learn – is to co-regulate with your child.
Responding to chaos with calm is the best way to deescalate a disregulated child.
I attribute the last few weeks to changes in his environment – higher expectations, less unstructured play, homework, new faces.
“Looking at my life
It’s very clear to me
I live so selfishly
I was the only one
I realize that nobody wins
Something is ending
And something begins.”– “Nothing Really Matters”
T is an easy child to love but has moments when he is downright unlikeable.
When I have these feelings, I feel terrible guilt and sadness – and I try hard to remind myself to separate the child from the disability.
To forgive myself and to try again, because T is the best reason to keep trying, even if effort is not rewarded right away.
“Nothing takes the past away
Like the future
Nothing makes the darkness go
Like the light
You’re shelter from the storm
Give me comfort in your arms.”– “Nothing Really Matters”
Recently, T’s CYW told us he needs to work on writing; one sentence journals won’t cut it in Grade 3.
So we started to work on writing during weekend learning and I asked his teacher for what she’s expecting – titles, transition words, details.
I’m not expecting overnight success, but I want to share his journal from this morning – I helped him organize his thoughts – about putting up the Christmas tree yesterday with the hubby.
I told him he did a great job and I am proudly sharing his work with his teacher and CYW.
Last week, his music teacher sent a nice email to let us know T got perfect (42/42) on his music test; she knew he practiced hard and was proud of him. I thanked her for the pick-me-up because he was having a rougher week at home and school.
Life with T reminds me, when I most need the reminder, that the energy we send into the universe is the energy we invite into our lives.