The best things in life are not free.
Thanksgiving a year ago vs today, the dinner table is cozier and I am reminded how life flies by.
Friday was a PA Day and I took T to a fun and free activity organized by Surrey Place, the amazing organization that has supported our family since he was 18 months, when FASD was just a prognosis; formally diagnosed in 2022.
The event was a chance for caregivers and kids with FASD, 8 to 15, to hang out in person, after caregivers spent the past year getting to know each other through a virtual group.
The two-hour get together consisted of three parts: grooming horses, a picnic then a hike.
During breakfast at home, I mused out loud, “We’re putting six kids that have challenges with hyperactivity, attention, impulsivity and regulation in a room with horses. What could possibly go wrong?”
T quickly piped up, “I’ll get kicked in the butt.” 😆
But the activity went well. T was anxious at first, but the patient staff got him to brush and groom the horse.
I often read about equine therapy as an effective wellbeing tactic for kids with additional needs and I could see how it was indeed a calming activity.
And T didn’t get kicked in the face! If you set the bar low, you exceed your expectations! 😂
Afterwards, the kids enjoyed a picnic, thoughtfully prepared by Surrey Place staff, then played with each other in the open field, all bursting with kinetic energy.
It was T’s first time knowingly interacting with other kids with FASD and I felt peace and camaraderie as I watched similarly tempered kids enjoying being themselves.
We ended the outing with a short hike and I enjoyed talking to the other caregivers. I felt like we got each other and it felt so refreshing.
T is already super excited about the next meetup in December; a visit with therapy dogs. 🐶
Life as a parent of a child with FASD is challenging and on most days, it beats the crap out of me.
I reflected a lot the past week about the saying “the best things in life are free.”
They really aren’t.
Even love and life itself come with a cost.
When we open up our hearts to love, we also open ourselves up to heartache and grief. But we risk it all to receive love in return.
When we choose to live life fully, we open ourselves up to disappointment and failure. But we risk it all for joy, adventure, laughter and connection.
This is what being T’s parent is all about. We face the hardships head on, because of the sweet rewards that come with the challenges.
As I’m reminded this Thanksgiving, the best things in life, such as family, friends, health, community and the outdoors, are immeasurably priceless.
These lines speak truth : “When we choose to live life fully, we open ourselves up to disappointment and failure. But we risk it all for joy, adventure, laughter and connection.”
Nice horse day!
Thank you, Faith. It is so true of life, for better and for worse.
your line, “As I’m reminded this Thanksgiving, the best things in life, such as family, friends, health, community and the outdoors, are immeasurably priceless.” is so important – thanks, as always for your wisdom.
Thanks Vickie. I know you are recently reflecting on larger events in the world and this certainly resonates even more in light of these tragic times.
You got me thinking about that saying as well now. You’re right. The best things in life come at a cost. I love the idea of that activity, and luckily T managed to do well with the horse. While the idea of this equine experience is to help the kids be calm and control their energy (I guess?), I wonder how it will turn out this December with dogs! Happy belated Thanksgiving, Ab!
Thanks Bama. The horses were magical and I know the dog trip will be equally if not more relaxing. T is just wonderful and calm around dogs so I can imagine it’ll be more of that with dogs that are especially trained to provide therapy.
Hope you’re having a nice weekend. Just got up over here. 😆
What a wonderful event Ab! How nice it must be to talk to other parents and share life events with each other! When I took my autistic lady to a farm that had horses, the lady told me the horses can sense people with disabilities and they become very gentle. Your posts really tell the kind of parent you are. Even with all your struggles, you always find the light at the end of the tunnel. You are such a good dad Ab!
Thank you, Diane (?). It was a wonderful morning for the reasons you stated. I’ve also read about equine therapy being very effective with autistic individuals. I don’t always have the best days nor the best responses to T’s struggles, but I do try to hang on there for those lights at the end of the tunnel. 🙏
It’s amazing to hear how Surrey Place organizes events like these. It’s a great way to meet other people who are going through a similar experience while also participating in some neat activities, like grooming horses. Glad to hear that it was a success. Hope you had a happy Thanksgiving and are enjoying your time off.
Wonderful. That last line is perfect
Thank you Gary. I know you’d understand. Hope you and Hawklad had a nice long weekend (if you had one in the UK that is)!
Loved this post Ab! What a great day for everyone to experience and the sharing among parents had to be so supportive and helpful to you. Has T asked for a horse yet? 🙂
Thank you Deb. It was a wonderful day. And thankfully he has not asked the horse yet. And if he does, the condition will be he’ll need to clean up after its poop. That’ll end the conversation fast. 😆
LOL!
Ab…thank you so much for this lovely, inspiring post. Love and Happy Thanksgiving wishes to all…and thank you for this potent reminder: “We face the hardships head on, because of the sweet rewards that come with the challenges.” xo! 🥰
Thank you Vicki for visiting and for the Thanksgiving wishes. 😊 Hope you had a nice holiday long weekend on your end too!
Yes! Thank you, Ab! 😉
I’m trying to remember all my comments about this post but that last line just blew my mind. Immeasurably priceless. Yes.
But I’m still giggling about the low expectations and the “hooves, hearts and hands.” What a great group and community you are building. And thank goodness T didn’t get kicked by a horse!
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!! <3
Thanks Wynne. The immeasurably priceless part is so real and I’m grateful for the reminder this weekend.
And yes, what a truly amazing group to be doing this service for families like ours.
Happy Columbus Day to you and the family! 😊 Hope you’re all enjoying the day off.
Such a lovely day out and “As I’m reminded this Thanksgiving, the best things in life, such as family, friends, health, community and the outdoors, are immeasurably priceless.” I couldn’t have said it better Ab 💛
Thank you Cherryl. It is an important reminder for us all. 😊🙏