Six years ago today, also a Wednesday, T, the hubby and I became a forever family.
In many ways, it feels like a lifetime ago when our adoption was finalized in court – and in other ways, I think with awe, “Has it been only six years?!”
So many moments have happened since – joyous highs and crushing lows. But yet, like T, every day is a new day and we keep chugging along.
I love that this anniversary always falls after Valentines Day and before Family Day, because it is symbolic of what love and family mean to me.
This Sunday was Super Bowl Day and I was excited about Rihanna’s halftime show.
The hubby and I loved her music, as it played in the clubs when we started dating in our 20s.
I went on a binge of rediscovering her music last week – hits after hits – and it was fun introducing them to T during our drive to swim class.
After his lessons, we went to a birthday party for the daughter of the hubby’s friend and colleague.
It was the first party T got invited to in the last three years – and it reminded me of the guilt I mildly feel for not having yet done a birthday party for T, with the pandemic partly to blame.
T made a wonderful card for the birthday girl.
The party was hosted at a small art studio for kids, as you can see by the awesome creations below.
We regrettably arrived late and the kids had already started a group painting activity.
We encouraged T to participate, but the combination of arriving mid activity and him not knowing anyone other than the birthday girl made him feel reluctant and shy.
So he stayed outside the room and looked around the Studio. I wasn’t fussed but the hubby felt embarrassed and flustered.
The Studio staff were empathetic and offered to do an activity with T to pour small plastic balls into a deflated balloon to create a hand fidget toy.
Afterwards, the kids gathered to eat pizza. He was still reluctant to join, so we sat and ate outside.
Eventually, T warmed up and went inside – just in time for ice cream cake!
“When the sun shines, we shine together– Rihanna, “Umbrella”
Told you I’ll be here forever
Said I’ll always be your friend
Took an oath, I’ma stick it out ’til the end
Now that it’s raining more than ever
Know that we’ll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella.”
As an adult, I can find social events hard, so I can relate with a kid, FASD or not, navigating a party where he did not know anyone and he arrived late.
So you know what, T did awesome.
I loved when the host asked who wanted more cake and T said out loud, “(Birthday girl) should get a big piece because it’s her birthday.”
After the cake, it was piñata time. The kids lined up to each take a turn swinging at Olaf the snowman.
T didn’t want to line up and we could tell he felt anxious.
When the piñata broke and the kids grabbed the candy, T started tearing up. Thankfully, the host parent bundled up a bag and gave it to him.
We stood with T and stayed calm to help him calm down – and eventually he did.
And just like that, the party was over. As we exited the Studio, T pointed out his gift and card to the birthday girl.
The party experience, its ups and downs, sums up how I feel about parenting on this forever family day.
When the sun shines, we shine together. Told T we’ll be here forever. Said we’ll always be his friend. Took an oath, we’re gonna stick it out ’til the end. When it’s raining more than ever. Know that we’ll still have each other. He can stand under our umbrella.