We took our 7-year-old to his first wedding this past weekend. Well, at least the first wedding he’ll remember. He attended his first and only wedding in 2016, a friend’s destination wedding, when he was 1. As with all social events, we had some initial apprehension of how T will be. But we believe it’sContinue reading “The Wedding”
Author Archives: Ab
Sharing Our Son’s FASD Diagnosis with Him
There are crucial conversations in life that stick out vividly long after they’ve happened. Coming out when I was 14; telling my parents I was moving out; our wedding vows; the adoption worker telling us we were matched with T. Over the Christmas break, I had two more: one that was planned and another thatContinue reading “Sharing Our Son’s FASD Diagnosis with Him”
Marshmallow Halo
Processing and understanding death is hard for kids. Sometimes, stuffed animals can help. T’s Auntie’s – my sister’s – death a few days after Christmas was sudden and despite the unexpectedness, T is doing ok. I continue to check in with him every day to see how he’s doing. Kids often don’t tell you howContinue reading “Marshmallow Halo”
In the Arms of an Angel
Our family faced a sudden loss – for T, his first experience with losing someone – over the holidays. My sister passed away last Thursday, a few days after being admitted to the hospital on Christmas Day, after a short and brave battle with cancer. My family and I are still processing and making senseContinue reading “In the Arms of an Angel”
Believe in Your Goodness
Faith is not believing things will always work out but that you will be ok regardless of how they do. It was an up and down week at school. So the start of the holidays was so welcomed. T made a lovely note for Santa last night. When he woke up this Christmas morning, heContinue reading “Believe in Your Goodness”
Everything Everywhere All At Once
In another universe, I’m a novelist and our son is disability free. Oh, the what ifs of the multiverse. I watched “Everything Everywhere All At Once” this weekend, the Michelle Yeoh-starring film that is generating major Oscar buzz. The film is about the multiverse, where infinite and different versions of the same characters exist. TheContinue reading “Everything Everywhere All At Once”
Cultivating a Learning Mindset
Fostering an attitude for learning is so important. Kids with FASD face additional challenges and are often at risk of falling behind in school. This year, Grade 2, has been challenging. We’ve had numerous calls with his teacher who is struggling to manage T in the classroom. There are many factors we attribute it to,Continue reading “Cultivating a Learning Mindset”
I’m Blue (Da Ba Dee)
Our little guy got his hair done and he’s blue like Sonic the Hedgehog. T had been talking recently about wanting to colour his hair. After swim lessons last Saturday – where he did his first two consecutive laps for the first time! – we visited the barber. T sat patiently for his turn andContinue reading “I’m Blue (Da Ba Dee)”
Shit Happens
The things we do for love and the funny ways that love clicks with our little guy. Earlier this week, I walked into T’s room and it smelled rancid, like the room had been fertilized. After sniffing around, I found the culprit: T had an accident and the soiled pants were in his hamper. Thankfully,Continue reading “Shit Happens”
Play Date
A rainy Sunday morning at a McDonald’s Playspace was just what the doctor ordered. One of the biggest changes in T’s school life happened earlier this year when his CYW in SK and half of Grade 1 moved to a different school. We all felt the loss of this wonderful person, especially T, and itContinue reading “Play Date”
I Believe In You
How you see yourself makes a huge difference in how you experience the world. The hubby and I had our first parent-teacher interview last Friday with T’s Grade 2 teacher. The conversation focused on T’s challenges: focusing and completing his work; avoidance behaviour like taking long bathroom breaks, and social interaction. I felt deflated, becauseContinue reading “I Believe In You”
The Grinch
On the annual day that we put up our Christmas tree, a real-life Grinch almost stole our cheer. It’s tradition to put up our tree the day after Remembrance Day. We remind T to honour veterans first before he goes nuts with Christmas. Three things, after all, get T super excited: Christmas, Halloween and hisContinue reading “The Grinch”
Out of the Blue
Hidden truth, isolation, confusion. Things fog symbolizes and it enveloped us for two days. As autumn weather arrives, so does morning fog. It was beautiful and eerie to walk through in the dark Thursday morning, as I headed to work (pictured at top). My head felt foggy the past week, resulting from recent sleeplessness dueContinue reading “Out of the Blue”
Second Chances
What parents won’t often admit: When they ground their kids, they are punishing themselves too. After T’s unfortunate incident with taking the lollipop from the store, we grounded him last weekend; no electronics and he would not have his Halloween decor, bought on the same trip to the store, until next year. It may seemContinue reading “Second Chances”
The Boogeyman
This is a very hard post to write, but I’ve learned that fears die down when you face them. I’ve been enjoying the ramp up to Halloween – recently catching a matinee of “Halloween Ends.” Yesterday night, a real horror scenario played out: T took a lollipop from a store without paying for it. ThisContinue reading “The Boogeyman”
On a Night Like This
When the unicorn of a night out without T presents itself, I grab it by the horn and go for a ride. Going into parenthood 6 years ago, I knew weekend night outs by myself would be rare. When we do go out, it’s usually with friends; company that we enjoy. Parenting a child withContinue reading “On a Night Like This”
Secret Sauce
Asian cooking and special needs parenting have one thing in common: assembling your ingredients. Hear me out. I have not gone off the deep fried end; not yet, anyway. As parents of a child with FASD, the hubby and I have learned so much. We’ve been blessed with help to create a toolkit of ingredientsContinue reading “Secret Sauce”
The Traveller
What’s the meaning of a name and does it express one’s desire in life? For social studies this week, T completed an assignment that asked to research his name. It turns out one of the meanings is “traveller.” To see the world was one thing the hubby and I prioritized during life before T. TravelingContinue reading “The Traveller”
Cross Country Race
Our little guy competed in his first cross country school meetup today. For a kid who is endlessly active, gym is a class T struggled with the last few years. For his mid-year report card last year, his gym teacher gave him an “I,” as he didn’t participate enough for her to give a properContinue reading “Cross Country Race”
Walking Towards Hope
Inspiration exists in all forms and they are so important when traveling down unpaved road. Thanks to our FASD service provider, the hubby and I recently joined a cohort of parents and caregivers for a weekly support group. It’s an 8-week pilot initiative hosted by Surrey Place, an amazing organization that has supported T sinceContinue reading “Walking Towards Hope”