Being able to receive and apply feedback, as hard as it can be to hear sometimes, is key to growth.
In February, halfway past the Grade 3 school year, the hubby and I had our teacher conference with T’s teacher, CYW and the school’s special education coordinator.
We discussed T’s areas for improvement: reading, writing and social skills.
He’s reading at a grade 2 level. He does ok with decoding but needs to work on comprehension, reading stamina and to move away from picture books to chapter books.
I was a bit bummed, because we work hard on reading and I thought he was doing ok. But I’m also not surprised they’ve noticed his poor working memory, which supports reading comprehension, as it’s common for individuals with FASD.
A special needs parent needs to collaborate with teachers and service providers, and their child, to maximize their child’s success.
That includes keeping it real and being open to feedback that may seem critical, because often the intentions are to help.
We focus on the big picture, because it can be so worth it.
Like with T’s first term report card, received prior to the meeting. Bs and B+s – based on his Individualized Education Plan – and we’re proud of his progress!
During the meeting, his teacher said they will send home beginner chapter books to practice with T.
Reading practice with T can feel quite painful, because it is not a preferred activity.
We persevere because we know it’s a foundational skill and we believe in him.
During our recent March Break trip, we packed a beginner chapter book – “Tornado” by Betsy Byars – and read one chapter a day, using play and pool time as incentives.
I paused on every page to ask comprehension questions.
Some days were hard to get T to focus, but he finished the book on our vacation and read and answered questions well!
We shared the happy news with his teacher and CYW when he got home.
We’re now working through his second chapter book, slowly building a routine to read one chapter during bedtime.
Like with everything else in life with T, it’s a work in progress.
On Easter Monday, T and I visited Pa, Ma and my sister at the cemetery and T read the latest chapter of his book to his Ama, while we both sat on the ground in front of her memorial site.
Just my luck, it was the longest fucking chapter in the book! He got unfocused at some points, but he finished and I told him Ama was proud.
His audience understandably didn’t offer much feedback. 🤣 But in life, you also do things because the feedback of your inner voice tells you it’s the right thing to do.
My Life With T 
T has great support. It looks like math is his fave subject.
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Thanks Faith! He seems to enjoy math and anything hands on.
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It always amazes me how patient you are. You’re so good at focusing on the big picture while still making time to celebrate the small wins too. Having a good sense of humour also helps!
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Thanks Linda! I can assure you I’ve had many nuclear meltdowns that aren’t pretty. But we’re all human. As I know you’re experiencing firsthand, parenting is the hardest job in the world, and layer on top of that a complex disability. Humour certainly helps! 😆🙏
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Awh, man. Your last sentence is great, Ab. This is wonderful that you’re working so hard with him. He is truly blessed to have you.
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Thanks Betsy. I guess it’s like martial arts, you have to put in the practice and sometime take the punches that come with the rewards! 😊🙏
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You make me think, laugh, and ponder all in one post! great piece. My son and DIL brought my grandson to visit us in the Keys during the break – he struggles with Math – and by the end of the week he was ASKING for math flashcards because of the preferred activity reward – Thanks, Ab
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Thanks Vickie. I love that you get to invite and spend time with your family during your Florida getaway. And way to go to all of you for helping him build interest in math. Flash cards are great for that.
Enjoy the rest of your time in the Keys!
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Those last two paragraphs were really funny. Yeah, T may need to work a little harder on some things, but the reward is huge and not taken for granted. Reading to Ama is brilliant , both for practice in nature and keeping her memory alive.
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Thanks Margie. He wanted to visit my mom and I wanted him to read a damn chapter so win win for both of us. 😆
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You are such an awesome parent for T! I don’t know that I would have your patience, but you certainly are doing a great job at parenting under sometimes very difficult circumstances. Thumbs up, my friend. 👍👍
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Thanks Jill. We’re doing our best. I know you can relate with how hard this all is. One step at a time. 😆
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Love that you’re recognizing the areas that need work and improvement but also celebrating the wins. It’s hard work but hang in there Ab. T will get there because. It’s a marathon! The only way to run it is one step at a time!
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Thanks Brian. Yes, one step at a time for sure. It’s a long marathon ahead and that white light tunnel I see is not one I wanna be running towards at this stage. 😆
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I just love this post. Especially that he read the longest fucking chapter at the grave. You know everyone from beyond was listening and loving on him.
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Thanks Rebecca. He makes us smile and laugh – and cry – a lot of the times. Hope you’re doing well!
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I’m laughing about the last chapter of the book. Ah, listening to that inner voice. Sometimes it is a pain in the —!! 🙂
Love your perseverance and resilience! Amazing, Ab!
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Thanks Wynne. The inner voice, our conscience and the annoying nagging voice we can’t shake off! 😆
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It really takes a village to raise a child, and it’s very encouraging to see the amount of care and support T receives from his family and his school. It’s really nice that you gave T a book to read and asked questions to check his comprehension. Honestly, not only kids with FASD who need this, but basically everyone, especially in a time like these when a piece of information one gets from social media often shapes their “understanding” of everything.
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Thanks Bama. Yes, you got it right about misinformation and disinformation on the Internet. It is so scary and also sometime amusing how people just fall for things just because it’s posted on the internet. It is a real big issue!
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That’s the key, you believe in him. You know him and just his high he can fly. It’s going to be tough, but he can do it. ❤️
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Thank you, Gary. 🙏 The belief and instilling self belief is so important. And yes, it can be oh so tough on some days.
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