Having a sense of humour about when things do not go as planned is generally one of my instinctual responses in life.
Dealing with loss and feeling like you’re failing is part of being a special needs parent.
In the last few weeks, it’s been harder to find levity during the challenging moments.
We’ve been having very challenging days with T at home and school.
It’s beyond the usual hyperactivity, difficulty focusing; it’s escalated to refusing to do his work, disrupting class, and even talking back to teachers.
Learning to deal with moments that don’t go as planned is part of life. I think everyone can benefit from failure. It gives you perspective.
But as a special needs parent, that feeling occurs quite often.
Not because it’s the child’s fault. It isn’t anyone’s fault. But in the hardest moments, it can feel like you’re failing your child.
But really, it’s about the fact that this world and its structures, norms and expectations disadvantage neurodiverse people.
Earlier this week, my mind randomly recalled this wonderful acceptance speech Halle Berry made when she won the Razzie Award.
I’m using the word “won” very loosely here, because a Razzie is the antithesis of the Oscars, given out to the worst in movies.
In 2004, two years after her historic Oscar win, Halle Berry won Worst Actress for Catwoman.
Instead of pretending this never happened, she did what no other recipient in Razzie history had done; she actually showed up to accept it.
Needless to say, the small crowd of film lovers – the Razzie voting body – went wild.
Berry’s clever and tongue-in-cheek speech was a hilarious masterclass of how to turn a shitty moment on its head, have a laugh at the absurdity of life, and leave with your head held high.
I had such a laugh watching this clip again and it made me feel better. Laughter really is the best medicine.
We’re still in the trenches with T, but we’re showing up to try to turn these Razzie moments around.
The hubby and I had a perfectly-timed call scheduled yesterday with T’s behaviour therapist – we meet every few months.
We also consulted with his developmental pediatrician and are adjusting his medication.
We’re continuing to strategize with his CYW.
I’m not sure how the next few weeks will unfold but I am reminding myself that we will get through this. Focus on the big picture.
I did a rare school drop off yesterday morning and T requested Britney Spears’ “Oops, I Did It Again” to play in the car.
I chuckled, because it could not have been a more perfect song choice to describe T at times.
And that unexpected moment of laughter was a great pick-me-up.