Waves

“I get back up and I do it again. I get back up and I do it again…”

One of my wishes with our vacation is to overfill T’s bucket with happy memories – so he has them during grayer days.

I loved watching T play at the beach, with its soft white powder and clear turquoise water.

The waves were rocky and persistent and made swimming an enjoyable adventure.

For nearly an hour, T jumped and hurled himself fearlessly onto the waves.

Sometimes, he succeeded in jumping over them or into them.

Sometimes, the waves were higher than him and knocked him over.

But he kept getting up again and again – with a big smile and hearty laughter.

I couldn’t help but draw a parallel to life as a special needs parent; of a child with FASD.

The waves keep coming at you every day, even on days when you’re not ready for them.

Let’s not even talk about the waves we all had to endure during this pandemic!

Some days, you ride them. Some days, you even coast wonderfully. Some days, you get knocked over onto your ass.

But you get back up and you do it again.

You learn to surf and ride the crest of the wave. Because it’s worth it for the high and joys of facing this life head on with your child.

The alternative is to stay away from the beach and to miss out on what this beautiful imperfect life has to offer.

“I get back up and I do it again,

I get back up and I do it again,

I get back up and I do it again,

I get back up and I do it, I do it again.”

– “Why Do You Love Me?” by Garbage

I’d be remiss and insincere if I said this trip has been completely relaxing.

T’s had numerous irritable moments – filled with loud outbursts of telling us to “Shut up” when he wasn’t getting his way; often in public and we had to bite our tongue to avoid escalating the situation.

Last night, during one of his outbursts in our room, I had enough and told him to stop using rotten and rude language, because it was ruining the mood of our vacation.

I didn’t like telling him that nor did it feel good to say it, but it needed to be said. Cue the waterworks and crying. I walked away and went to bed.

This morning, T woke up and climbed into bed and snuggled with me for 30 minutes.

After breakfast, we went to the waterpark and played in the wave pool for an hour, splashing and laughing.

At one point, he said, “I love you.”

I smiled and hugged him and said, “I love you” back to him.

Then we went back to our room to change and relax in the air conditioning before lunch.

“I get back up and I do it again. I get back up and I do it again. I get back up and I do it again. I get back up and I do it, I do it again…”

12 thoughts on “Waves

    1. We were very blessed to had 7 amazing nights of deep and long sleep. Sad to be back to our home but thankful for the experiences! 😊 Thanks Diane.

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  1. Oh, Wow, the post main image with the waves as high as T moving towards him just breathtaking. Both fun and scary but also defines what’s feeling alive and living should be. Love all the pics and the excitement and hope in your post. These are what dream family and self vacations are made of. Yes, happy childhood memories are everything and so important. It is what will help our children go through the waves of life both small and gigantic. 🙏☀️

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  2. I love the first picture and how massive the wave looks, especially in comparison to T. Swimming in wavy water can be a lot of fun and I like that you can still feel the waves when you’re falling asleep at night. Sorry to hear that T has had some moments during the trip, but it sounds like you’re handling them well and are still riding the high from the waves.

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    1. Thanks Linda. The waves were pretty awesome. 😊 The moments were annoying for sure but what family trip would be complete without a few moments of getting on each other’s nerves? 😆 Super thankful we got to have this week together. It’s flying by too fast!

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  3. What a beautiful model for resiliency! That is awesome – that you risk the waves and have the energy to keep at it even when knocked down.

    My 6-year-old had an afternoon yesterday where she was reacting badly. Finally after I put the 2-year-old to bed, I said, “Grrr. What is going on? You are making things so hard” (personally I think it’s the time change) And I didn’t like saying it either.

    She said she felt like Alberto and as I searched my index of Disney characters she clarified it was Alberto from Luca. She felt like the bad kid. While I didn’t appreciate the brilliance of that analogy in my tired state, I did tell her this morning that I thought it was a great way to communicate her feelings.

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    1. Thanks Wynne. Daylight saving time is a bane. We thankfully didn’t have to experience that down here as the clocks were already an hour ahead.

      Alberto is a great character but I can see how your daughter would feel that way. It’s wonderful that she communicated those feelings to you. Little kids carry such big emotions inside of them and it’s an interesting and also crushing journey sometimes to see them learn new emotions and how to process them

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