The Bicycle Dad

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, gratitude, growth mindset, love, Parenting, school, wellbeingTags:, , , , , , , , ,

As I biked past the boys playing soccer on the field, one of them said, “Here comes Bicycle Dad.”

I was amused by the comment, as I parked my bike by a bench and T biked around the playground.

Like a soccer mom, the only identity that matters at home is not my work nor education – but T’s Papa; and it’s one I am proud and grateful for.

How time flies – it was just yesterday when he explored the neighbourhood on his Fisher Price tricycle.

The boys playing soccer are T’s age and older – and they are out during T and my post dinner rides.

T thinks they’re jerks, so he keeps to himself on his bike or gravitates towards younger kids.

On a recent school night, T started to help our 5-year-old neighbour’s dad with teaching his son how to ride a bike.

The best way to practice a skill is to teach it to someone else.

When these training wheels came off, it was a big deal. This bike was a birthday gift from Ma.

Our family is navigating a new chapter: middle school.

The hubby and I took T’s first school day off work, so we could do drop off and pick up together.

T was nervous and during the first pickup, he had a short cry in the car about how he didn’t fit in.

We reminded him that he also felt this way when he started at his previous school and we reassured him he will find his way and his own tribe.

The rest of the week went better!

During Friday morning’s dropoff, the hubby and I noticed we were the only parents hanging out.

So we told T, who was playing basketball by himself in the yard, that we were leaving before the bell rang and students were let in.

As we left, one of the kids in T’s class approached him and they played ball together.

It was a strangely freeing feeling knowing we can now leave T on his own during dropoff.

I love that bikes now come with us on roadtrips.

As Bicycle Dad, I know this next chapter will be a mix of being there with him, for him – and also giving him space to explore on his own.

As T became proficient at biking, we began to explore newer and further parts of our neighbourhood – and this includes letting him bike on his own.

Biking regulates him.

This morning, he was out for two hours – and he’s back out again this afternoon, as I write this post.

I love seeing him come home with his flushed rosy cheeks, his hair messy and forehead soaked, his eyes behind his glasses wide with contentment.

A photo shared by his teacher of a team building activity. T is seated with two classmates from his previous school – whom are positive influences. The kid with the Corn Flakes is a new classmate and they played basketball Friday morning during dropoff.

Photo at top: Sunset bike ride by T’s grandparents cottage in New Brunswick in Summer 2026.

58 thoughts on “The Bicycle Dad”

  1. Ab, this was a beautiful, postive, hearwarming story about T. I loved the bike dad reference, the photos of T’s bike progression (espeically the bike from your ma) and a friend coming up to T to play ball. The knowldege that you can leave T on his own and trust that he will be ok, is such a big deal! Bravo to all of you! This was a great start to the morning!

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    1. Thanks Vickie. I appreciate your kind encouragement always. 😊 It’s been a good start to the year so far – and let’s hope it continues to build on this good momentum. 🙏

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    1. Thanks Serena. I definitely do worry when T is out for so long – but we are thankfully in the suburbs. While there are still cars, it’s residential. I would not let T go on his own if we lived in the busy city street. 😊🙏

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  4. Even if I’m not a parent, I remember how happy and proud I am when my niblings know how to bike without supporters.

    I’m glad T and his classmates get along. I’m sure he’ll enjoy his middle school years. Lovely photos!

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    1. Thanks Hazel. Those nibbling memories are the best and to be treasured. 😊 It’s been a good start to the year so far – and I hope it’ll continue to build momentum from here! 🙏

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  5. Awesome, Ab! T’s first day at middle school sounds like granddaughter Prim’s first (half) day of high-school. Her sisters made it a special event! If Prim had any reservations about her new school, she is over them now and thoroughly enjoying it and her new found friends.

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  6. Oh, this is so spot on and heart-warming, Ab! I love the T is helping to teach the young neighbor to ride.

    I don’t think anyone feels like they fit in to middle school right off the bat! But I love that in a few days, he’s already finding his lane. You are a great bicycle (and every other kind of) dad!

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    1. Thanks Wynne. 😊 He really gets along well with younger kids so it’s too bad he’s back to being the youngest one in school. But one day at a time and as you said, he’ll find his lane and new routine and paths soon enough!

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  7. i love that you’re known as bike dad and should get/make a bike dad t-shirt. T helping the younger neighbor child learn to ride is so good for both of them, a win-win. glad that he’s settling into middle school, glad you feel confident enough to leave him in the morning, and it sounds like he’s making some nice connections. he’s going to have so many great new opportunities this year! T riding abound the neighborhood is a great way to self-regulate. This all makes me so happy to read.

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    1. Thanks Beth. I do think it’s been a good start! 😊 Although homework is back with a vengeance today so I anticipate rough waters ahead tonight. 😭 Outdoor activity, away from screens, is so needed and good for kids – and I’m thankful T has these moments in abundance! 🙏

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  8. I love how you anchor your posts on a metaphor; this one works beautifully. I hope week two is going well so far and that T is finding his tribe, or at least one or two tribe members to hang out with. I love that he is able to go biking on his own. He is slowly going out into the world and the finding his groove ❤️

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    1. Thanks Margie. It’s been a good first week! 😊 Although homework is back with vengeance today. 😭 So we’ll see how we all feel by end of week!

      I think there’s a tribe out there for everyone – good tribes! – and I have faith he’ll find his too. 🙏

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  9. This is so heartwarming. I don’t have a child, but following your parenting stories makes me understand more about the challenges both the kid and the parents have to deal with. And it makes me reflect on my own journey, how my parents raised me (including all the arguments I had with them), and how everything turned out to be. I’m glad T’s experience in his new school is getting better and better each day.

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    1. Thanks Bama. Did you want a child? 11 years old, potty trained, free international shipping for preferred blogger friends. 😂 All kidding aside, thank you for being a part of this journey. Your encouraging comments always help and are appreciated. And you’re right, our relationship with our own parents growing up looks and feels different when we reflect on them as an adult. 🙏

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      1. LOL! What’s the return policy? 😂 Your blog posts do two things: they make your readers understand more about the challenges faced by parents of kids with FASD, and they also help us to look back and contemplate our relationships with our parents.

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  10. I read both posts together! Otherwise I would have been nervous! Just be calm, remember he is running an ultra marathon and you two are his aid station helpers and this is the starting point. All the best. 🌹

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  11. Wonderful to hear T’s first week went well and that he even made a friend playing basketball. And it’s super sweat to hear that T had been helping one of your neighbours ride a bike. Hard to believe how quickly they grow up! Enjoy the week ahead.

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    1. Thanks Linda. Week 2, here we go! 😊

      Has M started to ride a tricycle yet? It’s really fun to see them develop this new skill although it introduces new things we all gotta keep on top off now too!

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  14. Wow, it doesn’t seem as though so much time has passed. I still think of T, as I also do many family members at the ages I first got to know them and I’ve been praying he has a great start for middle school. So many cool things in this post. Like still having his bike from your Ma. Even him teaching your neighbor’s 5yr old how tio ride. That is fabulous!

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    1. Thank you Tammy. I am comforted knowing that you’re out there praying for T – I feel it and I know it makes a difference for him too. 😊 It was as good of a first week as we can hope for. I know the expectations will be higher now with week 2, so staying cautiously optimistic. 🙏 Hope you and your family are doing well too!

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      1. The circumstance of a child that I knew nothing about- and if anything, very, very little. I have to type to you that men raising children has always moved me inside with impressions and an engraving of happiness and pretty feelings- especially two men. Guys can wall off- not psychologically- but just in a man way- their tenderness and compassion and softness. But when two men are raising a child- the walls come down. As a woman, I know the very close, tangible, undeniable way love manifests with a little boy- and to have a boy who brings out the extra in two dads seems to be the most wonderful concentration of love there is. Two of the masculine, regardless and in spite of what is beyond that or defining that- the strength and choice behind that strength? To me with all that has become progressively and blatantly wrong with this world is right and more right in your family. A feel good story is just that, but a life lived by a child with layers of love not to smooth over his life, but to simply make it such a good life, gives me more to add to the life I want to continue to create for my grown son and I. The way you’ve created a life for your son is the way you would’ve created it whether there were challenges or not. But add in all the things connected with his challenges? On the outside looking in- which is such an unencumbered travesty- you make it better for anyone reading your life to take something away to add to their own lives. That is magical.

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      2. Hi Elerah, it is very nice to meet you – and wow, thank you for this truly kind and encouraging comment. I am touched and reading this on the bus stop waiting to head to work. Talk about positive pick-me-up to start the week, especially after a bit of a rougher weekend (that ended on a good note).

        Enjoy your week ahead – and nice to connect with you. I can’t seem to access your blog but I found you on IG! 😊

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  15. It breaks my heart that T had a rough first day, but I’m glad he’s finding his groove and making new friends. How endearing to be called “Bicycle Dad” by the neighborhood kids… that says a lot that you’re present enough to be noticed. Cheers to middle school and all the adventures to come! 😊

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    1. Thanks Erin. I think it’s him feeling like small fish in a bigger ocean – and small changes that seem big to him, like eating in a cafeteria, no playground on the grounds, no recess.

      And I know you’ll understand when I say that he has his own -tisms and stims that make him stand out in ways that he probably doesn’t want to nor do most kids understand. But he will find his own tribe, as we all do, as we tell and remind him. 😊🙏

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      1. I can only imagine. In retrospect, I think I was very fortunate to go to the same school K-8, so there wasn’t that same scary transition. I suspect I would have had a difficult time adjusting.

        He’ll find it tribe, I’m sure. T sounds like the kind of kid who would approach another to compliment a cool t-shirt or style of throwing a ball. He’s such a kindhearted boy that I think he’s bound to cross paths with someone who recognizes his heart and can look past (or even appreciate) his quirks. I’ll be praying that he finds a good friend (or several). 😊🙏

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      2. Thanks Erin. I appreciate your kind encouragement. In a way, I’m glad he’s in middle school, because it will make the leap into high school in 3 years less jarring. 🙏

        He is generally a good kindhearted kid but some of his behaviour makes him his own worst enemy. I have faith he’ll figure this all out over time. 😊

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      3. and in the interim, he’s taking his own notes. Anything wanted for him? He may not have experienced it yet in context of where he is, literally, so when he does, it may very well be a precious moment. That isn’t something small. You know all of this, but when you’re in it, you’re in it.

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  17. Bicycle Dad has a nice ring to it and much better than a lot of other names kids could give you for sure 😉 So glad for T and dads that things so far are going well. Keep the positive moments in mind on the harder days. I do have to ask- did any of those kids even know what corn flakes are or how important they once were to breakfast for millions of people years ago?

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    1. Thanks Deb! Yes, you’re right – lots of other names I could be called. 🤣 I agree, it’s good to bank these happy moments and cash them out when we have the harder moments.

      Corn flakes is still pretty common over here, but definitely not one of T’s cereal of choice. I love them myself! 😊

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    1. Thanks LaDonna. It really is reassuring, although there is that worry of what is he doing outside and is he safe – that’s always in the back of my head. 🙏He’s now out for the 4th time today! But it beats sitting inside looking at a phone. 😊

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  19. Wow, it’s a wonderful start for T in middle school. He is definitely growing as a responsible kid – biking on his own and loving it. You are a good dad Ab, letting him find his own pace in this life.🥰

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  20. A mixture of being there for him and allowing him to find his way…so perfectly put, Ab!
    Moments like this one, witnessing hope, right before our eyes, provides courage:
    “As we left, one of the kids in T’s class approached him and they played ball together.”
    Well done! Rosy cheeks and messy hair = a very good day! 💝💝💝

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    1. Thanks Vicki. Witnessing hope does indeed provide courage. I love how you phrased that! 😊 And there are so many ways to measure a good day – a sweaty, messy haired kid is certainly one of them! 🥰

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    1. Thanks Karen. It was a nice way to ease into a new year and school. Let’s hope the positive momentum continues and that we’re ready for the inevitable speed bumps along the way! 😊

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      2. That is very kind of you – does it come with tequila, Marguerita and a Mexican earthquake too? 🤣 All kidding aside, your checkin in on the blog is more helpful and appreciated than you know! 😊

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