Closing One Door and Opening Another

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, fatherhood, growth mindset, Parenting, schoolTags:, , , , , ,

Our 11-year old starts middle school tomorrow and I feel both optimism and trepidation.

Middle school means increased demands, less breaks and changing social dynamics.

For a child with FASD and ADHD like T, I worry about how seemingly small changes will impact him: no recess, managing items in a locker with a combination lock, lunch in the cafeteria instead of the classroom, and rotating classrooms by subject.

I’m mindful that FASD is a little known invisible disability and that behavioral symptoms are often misunderstood by grownups and peers – and now that he’s not a small kid anymore, the societal response will change.

I think about how this is an age when kids seek social acceptance and I pray for positive peer influences and supportive adults for T.

I laugh when I think back to conversations with Pa, who once told me that I would understand one day why a parent never stops worrying.

We took it slow this summer with T – focusing on relaxation – and to bank many fun memories to lean on when the frenzy of middle school arrives.

It was T’s final summer at his daycare – a place he had spent 7 years at – and a space filled with caring staff who were incredibly supportive of T.

During T’s last week at the end of August, the hubby and I treated the kids and staff to a pizza lunch – to celebrate his last day.

I could tell T was sad, but we reminded him that change is part of life – when one door closes, another opens.

Just like T made good friends and memories at daycare, I promised him he will make new ones.

We let him play at the park one last time – and one of the friends he had known since Grade 1 played with him. She was also leaving the daycare.

This afternoon, the hubby, T and I will drive to T’s new school. We want to familiarize ourselves with the new route and to see which door T would enter through on his first day tomorrow morning.

The hubby was anxious all summer about getting T to learn to tie laces and use a combo lock – the latter of which he figured out right away.

We do not know for certain what lies ahead when T steps through the new door tomorrow.

But whatever lies ahead, we will figure it out together, as we always do, one step at a time.

Photo at top: The beautiful Percé Rock in Quebec feels like staring through a time portal.

26 thoughts on “Closing One Door and Opening Another”

    1. Thank you Vickie! 💕 Dropoff done – and admittedly, I was quite nervous for T. Sending positive vibes into the universe for all our school-aged loved ones. 🥰

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    1. Thanks Michelle. 😊 I can see the love and carry – and yes, worry – you have for your family. And thanks for the kind words. He’s still up in bed, gonna take some time to adjust to a school sleep schedule. But here we go! 🙏

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    1. Thanks Pete. I sure hope so too. Positive thoughts! 😊🙏 Your son sounds like a solid guy but I also understand the worry never ends. My dad did the same well into my 20s with me – and I do miss the nagging now. 🤣

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  5. Good luck to, T! With you and the hubby at his side, I’m confident he’ll find his footing soon enough and thrive in the new environment. You said it best: “whatever lies ahead, we will figure it out together.” Yes, you will!

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    1. Thanks Erin. The drive and visit to the school after dinner today was helpful. T walked around the school and feels more comfortable now and we scoped out the parking situation for dropoff tomorrow. It was helpful for all of us. 😊 Middle school, here we go!

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  7. best of luck to all of you for tomorrow and the whole school year. I suspect it will be a time of adaption and growth for all in ways that cannot even begin to be imagined. above all remember to breathe and love each other.

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    1. Thank you very much! 😊 I think there will be, and I look forward to the inevitable growth ahead. And yes, I’ll also remember to breathe and savour the moments with each other. 🙏

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      1. Thanks Ab! The younger is trying to talk her parents into joining orchestra or band. The older is prepping for Homecoming. We were looking at their baby pics yesterday. Treasure every moment with T 🙂

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  10. Sending so much love to all three of you….it will be a week full of unexpected surprises, and I bet some conquests for T, too. Learning how to navigate the activity, movement, the schedule and those darn combination locks with so much going on around him. It IS a lot. Please give T my very best. I know, know, know he’s got this! 💝💝💝

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    1. Thanks Vicki. 😊 the hubby and I both took tomorrow off to be there for him – and I think it really was more for our own wellbeing than T’s. 🤣 It’s a lot to take in and I hope that in a few years, this will have all been worry for naught. 🙏

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    1. Thank you, Karen. I know you went through a similar journey – and we hope for the best for our children and yes, that they grow from each daily experience. 😊🙏

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