I recently had the blessing to travel for work and was away from home for four days.
It was my first out of province work trip. The 2013 conference at Buffalo, New York does not count, because I could see Ontario and Canada, across Niagara Falls, from my hotel. 🤣
It was an incredible two days in Calgary, plus two days of travel, as part of a national leadership program I’m so fortunate to be a part of.
Naturally, I felt guilt and worry, especially as departure day drew near. What if my plane crashed or something happened to my family while I was away? You know, everyday worries. 🤭
But I had a great time and allowed myself to enjoy the experience. I had a great time connecting with and learning with and from peers across Canada.
It was the quietness in the mornings and evenings – time with just myself – that felt jarring. No trying to move a distracted T out the door nor the battle of wills to get homework done.
As I reflect on this trip a few weeks later, I believe it’s important for caregivers to take and enjoy rare opportunities for themselves – without guilt or worry – and to remember that caregivers deserve things that feed our soul too.
Parenting a child with FASD takes so much mental, physical and emotional energy; it is a marathon with very few respite, especially when our support system is non existent.
Teamwork is essential – and I feel incredibly blessed that the hubby and I have a good divide and conquer approach.
On the weekend before I left, I prepped meals to help make single parenting easier for the hubby – including chicken parmesan, one of his favourites – and tomato beef for T, which meant three less school lunches the hubby had to make.
Finding the I in teamwork is so important. So you have more of yourself to give back to family.
Absence does make the heart grow fonder – especially when there’s a two-hour time difference.
While I enjoyed the break, quiet time, and going out for dinner with adult peers, I missed my family.
I came home with renewed energy, perspective and appreciation for the hubby and T – and a clearer head and motivation to keep forging ahead on this FASD caregiving journey.
My Life With T 
There’s guilt built into being a parent and most of us can only imagine what it might be like parenting a child with challenges. I rarely took time away from my kids and I don’t think that was the best decision for either myself or them so I’m glad that you took that hard but brave step Ab.
I am in awe over that library- WOW!
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you are so right about the caregivers having to take care of themselves. caregiving can be very challenging or rewarding. either way, it is important to practice self-care, or you can get too burnt out and not able to help anyone. glad you had a great trip, love the building and it sounds like ths was a happy ending –
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Although I could be wrong, I feel like I’ve gotten to know you well when it comes to T. I want to say, reject any guilt you may have felt. You already said it best though, it’s important for you to take some time for yourself. I get it can be scary, but you are doing such an amazing job & to keep it up a recharge now n then is great!
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Love this post from the title all the way through. I’m so glad you got some time away and I love your food prep. What a way to be helpful and gone at the same time! So important to get time away. It makes such a difference!
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I worked with many single parents over the years. It was hard to wrap my brain around the idea of a single parent working, cooking, parenting 2-4 kids, and getting them to their activities.
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I love this, Ab. It amazing that you were able to have a bit of a reprieve from caregiving, but also that you put in effort in advance of the trip to make things a little easier on your hubby. That’s true teamwork!
Also, what a great picture of you! You have such a radiant an joyful smile… though I can understand, being in such an incredible library. 😁
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Family worries are normal Ab especially when they are left behind. Glad to know you enjoyed your trip.🍃🍂
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Gosh!! That’s central library? How impressive indeed. I like your smile, Ab. Full of joy.
And I smile coz I think I’m type B😁🤭
Memorable trip for you, for sure!
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