Finding the I in Team

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, Parenting, Resiliency, wellbeingTags:, , , ,

I recently had the blessing to travel for work and was away from home for four days.

It was my first out of province work trip. The 2013 conference at Buffalo, New York does not count, because I could see Ontario and Canada, across Niagara Falls, from my hotel. 🤣

It was an incredible two days in Calgary, plus two days of travel, as part of a national leadership program I’m so fortunate to be a part of.

Naturally, I felt guilt and worry, especially as departure day drew near. What if my plane crashed or something happened to my family while I was away? You know, everyday worries. 🤭

But I had a great time and allowed myself to enjoy the experience. I had a great time connecting with and learning with and from peers across Canada.

One of the meals I prepped for the hubby (chicken parm, his fave) to make single parenting easier.
Prepping T’s lunch fruit for while I was away. I’m very Type A, I know. 😂

It was the quietness in the mornings and evenings – time with just myself – that felt jarring. No trying to move a distracted T out the door nor the battle of wills to get homework done.

As I reflect on this trip a few weeks later, I believe it’s important for caregivers to take and enjoy rare opportunities for themselves – without guilt or worry – and to remember that caregivers deserve things that feed our soul too.

Parenting a child with FASD takes so much mental, physical and emotional energy; it is a marathon with very few respite, especially when our support system is non existent.

Teamwork is essential – and I feel incredibly blessed that the hubby and I have a good divide and conquer approach.

On the weekend before I left, I prepped meals to help make single parenting easier for the hubby – including chicken parmesan, one of his favourites – and tomato beef for T, which meant three less school lunches the hubby had to make.

Finding the I in teamwork is so important. So you have more of yourself to give back to family.

Absence does make the heart grow fonder – especially when there’s a two-hour time difference.

While I enjoyed the break, quiet time, and going out for dinner with adult peers, I missed my family.

I came home with renewed energy, perspective and appreciation for the hubby and T – and a clearer head and motivation to keep forging ahead on this FASD caregiving journey.

I spent two days at Calgary’s beautiful central library. My goodness, what a breathtaking building and impressive plethora of programs and services.

36 thoughts on “Finding the I in Team”

  2. That is indeed a super cool looking building. I’m glad for your time away, and for your Type-A personality. 😛 No doubt it did wonders for your family that you’re so organized and caring. Also, I’m sure this trip made them appreciate you so much more too.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. “Finding the I in teamwork is so important.” WOW!Ab – all the meetings we talked about: no I in teamwork – your line was brilliant within the context of a caregiver. Yes, we need I time so we can give to WE time

    Thank you for the great post – photos and reminders – XOV

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Vickie. We’re often socialized or guilted into self sacrifice. But caregiving is a marathon and to make it to the end, we need time for the I. 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. The Calgary Library is gorgeous! Wonderful to hear that you had an amazing trip. I must say, it was very thoughtful that you planned and prepped some meals for the hubby and T beforehand. You’re absolutely right about how important and necessary teamwork is. Teamwork makes the dream work!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. I like the note you wrote for the hubby: “don’t burn!” 😆 I do believe that despite all the responsibilities we have, it is important for us to focus on ourselves from time to time, so that we can stay sane. Life, after all, is a long journey, and taking rests in such a journey is crucial.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. The only time I don’t feel gullible is when my son sleeps otherwise I feel I am living his life too 😂! A good friend told me I live two lives! That guilt is not going anywhere and just need live feel guilty and enjoy the time off! Glad you got that time off 💕!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Ganga. I just love it when my son is asleep too. Truly when the house feels 100% peaceful. 🤣 The guilt is hard but so important to let it go. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  7. I love your perspective, Ab. I feel compelled to do those ‘prep’ things, too. Not because the family ever needed me to — truly — but because it gave me peace whenever I was away. Love your honesty about that and the pic of you to conclude the post? Stunning – your generous smile and the gorgeous Calgary library. xo! 💝

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. Sounds like a refreshing trip, both personally and professionally. It’s always good to have the opportunity to connect with others in the same field.

    When I used to travel for work when my girls were small, I did many of the same thngs you did before you left. Organized meals, made detailed notes of who needed to be where and when, and I even recorded myself reading a bedtime story so the girls could listen to it while I was away.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Michelle. I love – and am not surprised – at how organized you are. Love the idea of pre-recording storytimes! I could pre-record spelling practice with T next time. He’ll absolutely hate it. 🤣🤭

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  9. There’s guilt built into being a parent and most of us can only imagine what it might be like parenting a child with challenges. I rarely took time away from my kids and I don’t think that was the best decision for either myself or them so I’m glad that you took that hard but brave step Ab.
    I am in awe over that library- WOW!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Deb. Oh the guilt never ends. First from your parents then as a parent. 🤣 But it’s so freeing and rewarding when you let it go.

      And yes, the library is just stunning. You should look it up online.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  10. you are so right about the caregivers having to take care of themselves. caregiving can be very challenging or rewarding. either way, it is important to practice self-care, or you can get too burnt out and not able to help anyone. glad you had a great trip, love the building and it sounds like ths was a happy ending –

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  11. Although I could be wrong, I feel like I’ve gotten to know you well when it comes to T. I want to say, reject any guilt you may have felt. You already said it best though, it’s important for you to take some time for yourself. I get it can be scary, but you are doing such an amazing job & to keep it up a recharge now n then is great!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Tammy. You’ve been with our journey for a while, so I really appreciate your kind encouragement. Yes, the guilt is heavy but it’s great to be able to get let it go and enjoy the time to myself too! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  12. Love this post from the title all the way through. I’m so glad you got some time away and I love your food prep. What a way to be helpful and gone at the same time! So important to get time away. It makes such a difference!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Wynne. I remember a post of yours a few years back when you went on a trip, I believe to NYC. These moments are so important to recharge our own spirit! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  13. I worked with many single parents over the years. It was hard to wrap my brain around the idea of a single parent working, cooking, parenting 2-4 kids, and getting them to their activities.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. For real, I can’t imagine how single parents do it, especially when it’s with neurodiverse kids. I told the hubby he’s not allowed to die before me cuz I can’t do this on my own. 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  14. I love this, Ab. It amazing that you were able to have a bit of a reprieve from caregiving, but also that you put in effort in advance of the trip to make things a little easier on your hubby. That’s true teamwork!

    Also, what a great picture of you! You have such a radiant an joyful smile… though I can understand, being in such an incredible library. 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Erin. I’m so thankful for the time away and for something meaningful too. 😊 It was easy to smile standing in the middle of the beautiful space!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  16. Gosh!! That’s central library? How impressive indeed. I like your smile, Ab. Full of joy.

    And I smile coz I think I’m type B😁🤭

    Memorable trip for you, for sure!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Hazel. It was a beautiful library – hard not to smile with joy when standing in the middle of it. 😊 Type B personalities have many strengths!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a Reply