“Every Day is a Blessing”

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, gratitude, growth mindset, ParentingTags:, , , , , , ,

T snuck up on me while I was reading on the couch and with a mischievous grin, he said earnestly, “Every day is a miracle.”

I still chuckle at this exchange and I also see the wisdom, intended or not, in his innocent words.

Yesterday morning, I attended the funeral of a family friend and watched with sadness as his wife and adult children mourned his unexpected loss.

Yesterday evening, as I was heading out to the park with T, our neighbour approached the hubby and I and tearfully let us know her partner, who had been sick for the past while, was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer.

Every day is indeed a blessing.

I try my best to be mindful of this when I have a hard time with T in our life with FASD.

Moments of disregulation and defiant behaviour.

Off-the-cuff comments from judgmental people who don’t understand this invisible disability and biting my tongue to not rip their heads off.

Shortlived moments of doubt, guilt and exhaustion – and wondering whether I’m doing enough.

When things feel overwhelming, it is grounding to think of the here and now.

Today.

Every day is a blessing.

That is what’s so wonderful about children like T. Maybe it’s the FASD and the blank slate of a new day. Maybe it’s just his personality.

He lives in the here and now.

Every day is a blessing.

I was recently looking at photos from our Northern Ontario roadtrip. It feels like a lifetime ago.

I found a series of photos from Old Woman Bay where I was playing with the reflection of the water.

“Hey T, look at this, there’s two of you,” I said showing the photo of him on a sandbar.

“Can you imagine if there’s two of you?” I said. “I think I’d kill myself.”

I looked at him with a serious deadpan look. Then we both smiled and laughed knowingly.

Every day is a blessing.

42 thoughts on ““Every Day is a Blessing””

  1. Ab, I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend and of your neighbor’s diagnosis. ❤️ Every day brings with it so many things and your post is a beautiful reminder of the blessings available to us.

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  3. Thank goodness he smiled and laughed at the end there. I got a little nervous for a second. 😛 Great that he knows you well and you have such a good rapport. Sorry about your loss and for your poor neighbor. 😦

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  4. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your family friend and about your neighbour’s cancer diagnosis. I couldn’t agree more about how every day is a blessing and a gift. It’s a shame we lose so much of our childhood spirit, especially the part about just living in the moment (and having all that youthful energy too)!

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    1. Thanks Linda. 😊 Those who get to maintain a sense of their childhood spirit into their adult years are truly blessed. Even more so with the youthful energy!

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  5. I think I told you before that my cousin fostered 2 girls that had a drug and alcohol addicted mom. She adopted them both, is a single mom and teaches the developmentally disabled kids in high school all day. I DON’T know how she does it Ab. I think you two are doing a great job with T. I am sure you keep a lot of challenges to yourself but your frame of mind is admirable to say the least. I’m curious, do you find it any easier now that T is getting older? I love how loving he can be and he learned that from you two!

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    1. Your cousin is a hero, Diane. I can’t imagine doing this own my own nor having two kids. Without knowing her, I also already know it comes from a place of love.

      Each age and stage have their challenges. In many ways, as he gets older, things get easier – such as he’s getting more independent, giving him more freedom, he’s able to better regulate himself after a meltdown, how we communicate with each other…

      There are also new and ongoing challenges that make days or moments hard. The swearing and rude language – as we tell him every day – are very difficult and tiresome. Seeing his struggles with social connection hurts my heart. I know these challenges come from a place of anxiety, not being able to always regulate his emotions – all symptoms of a disability that’s not his fault. Deep down, I know he has a loving and caring nature and we always try to focus on his many strengths.

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  9. I love the way you savor each day — with a sense of humor! Your perspective is such a blessing because you always seem to remember the expansive sense of why we are here, even when you are biting your tongue! And I love that picture – so beautiful!

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  11. Everyday is a blessing, indeed. Sometimes we forget this, especially when we’re so absorbed into our daily tasks and all the stress from work. But after losing both parents, I realize I tend to think of how everyday is a blessing a lot more often than I did in the past. The losses experienced by the people we know remind us of our own losses, and that makes us reflect on the good things that have happened to us instead.

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    1. Thanks Bama. You’ve been through a lot in the past while and I hope you’re taking the time to care for yourself. Grief and loss creep up on us in unexpected ways and times. Focusing on the things that are going well and the many blessings in our lives often is a great way to refocus and recenter our thoughts. 💕🙏

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  13. Showing gratitude for each day is an excellent way to navigate life. I’ve lost more good friends this year than in any other year of my lifetime. The beauty of life is that each day is a mystery. It may turn out to be one of the greatest days of our lives.

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    1. Thanks Pete. I’m very sorry for your losses this year. It feels like an unfair part of getting older. I like how you look at each day as a mystery – like a gift waiting to be unwrapped and to be open to the surprises of the contents inside!

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    1. Thanks so much, Hazel. An illness does really put life into context for those experiencing it and for those caring and worrying about the sick one. 🙏

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    1. Thanks AnneMarie. 😊 The innocence, purity and wonder of childhood are to be treasured. Very few retain these qualities as they age. One of the sad realities of adulthood!

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