“Up My Butt!”

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, gratitude, growth mindset, Parenting, schoolTags:, , , , , , ,

This is a wholesome and positive post, I promise.

Two weeks into the new school year 4, T and our family are settling into more structured days.

Some good news, T still has his Child and Youth Worker support for academic subjects.

It is very rare for a 4th grader to have this support and we are very thankful.

Evening homework is back and the expectations are higher. While there are tantrums, T is doing well so far at completing his work .

T is now starting to learn French. Good thing the hubby is fluent, so French homework is his baby as I have the joy of math homework.

The hubby and I are making a concerted effort this year to increase social connection for T.

In addition to swim lessons, the hubby registered T for soccer classes. It’s an opportunity to build on something he loves and to hopefully make friends.

I applied for the Big Brothers program. It’s a long waitlist but the goal is to match T with a 1-1 mentor, as this can help him transition and get through his coming teen years.

T’s love for dogs continues to grow and it is adorable seeing him approach strangers and politely ask to pet their dogs.

I reached out to a dog therapy program to arrange ongoing 1-1 visits with T. The waitlists for their volunteers are long, but it’s something we hope to add to T’s social connection toolkit.

I am using my limited free time to help advocate for FASD awareness, including participating on a recent virtual panel for caregivers.

I let T know I’m doing these activities as I want to feel part of the process. FASD is just one part of his life and I want to normalize it for him.

Halfway through the recent school week, his CYW let us know T sits with three kids in class.

Whenever a kid asks T where markers or rulers are, T would reply in his mischievous way, “Up my butt!”

His CYW reminded him to talk nicely if he wants to make friends.

Later that morning, she texted to let us know that the class is talking about SMART goal setting and T wrote down his goal all on his own:

“My goal is to make friends with my group. To use nice and kind words. Not to make fart noises. I will ask (my CYW) to remind me every morning before class starts so we can have a great day.”

😭😭😭

This kid makes me so proud at his purest moments.

On Friday, near the end of the school day, his CYW texted us the results of T’s first test of the year – 17/18 on his spelling test. And words are harder!

I have no doubt there will be ups and downs this school year, but it’s been a wonderful way to settle into cooler autumn days so far. 🙏💕

40 thoughts on ““Up My Butt!””

  2. Hard to ignore a post with that title! As a mother of a 7-y-o boy, fart noises are not FASD-exclusive. 😉 My son has yet to learn, “Up my butt,” however. Glad to hear T is doing well. Major kudos on his goal and his stellar spelling test!

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    1. Thanks Betsy. Yes, so many fart noises. In all seriousness, it is causing continued challenges in the classroom despite his recent goal setting. All we can do is take it a day at a time.

      Give your son time. The catchphrases will come soon enough! 😆😂

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  3. Ugh. When I am replying on the phone and I looked to see if my comment comes up it doesn’t.However, I know that it probably is showing somewhereBut just in case….Oh, I wish we lived closer. My Italian greyhound Daniel is a therapy dog and T would love him And vice versa. T is the luckiest guy that he found you too The enrichment activities are amazing. And you and the hubby are so blessed to have T – He is also a teacher of so much as is my jess!  Loved the post title !  VSent from IPhone Vickie RubinRaising Jess A Story of Hope Gold Medal Award Winner -Readers’ Favorite International, “A truly enlightening read” (Kirkus Review) – check out this link – :0) “Always Choose Hope!”Vickie’s ViewsRaising Jess: A Story of Hope-Memoir- AMAZON

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    1. I’m laughing, Vickie. WordPress can be so strange eh? I did see the two previous comments. 🥰

      I too wish we were closer. I think our families would get along so well. And so nice to have a therapy dog. I think T would do so well with one. 🙏

      We are so blessed indeed. I’m so tired all the time cuz of T but it’s a mostly joyous type of tired. 😊

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  4. Oh, I wish we lived closer. My Italian greyhound Daniel is a therapy dog and T would love him And vice versa. T is the luckiest guy that he found you too The enrichment activities are amazing. And you and the hubby are so blessed to have T – He is also a teacher of so much as is my jess!
    Loved the post title !
    V

    ps it looks like my comment didn’t show up and I know you’re gonna tell me it came up twice 🙄

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  5. Oh, I wish we lived closer. My Italian greyhound Daniel is a therapy dog and T would love him And vice versa. T is the luckiest guy that he found you too The enrichment activities are amazing. And you and the hubby are so blessed to have T – He is also a teacher of so much as is my jess!
    Loved the post title !
    V

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    1. Thanks Serena. FASD is universal and I suspect in some parts of the world it’s not known or discussed either due to lack of awareness, stigma or both. And yes, it could also be a cultural thing.

      I studied journalism in university and have freelanced for many years and was also a ghost writer for two non fiction book for teens. I do hope to write a book one day about FASD caregiving to help raise further awareness. But I have no free time outside of work and parenting. 😆

      Maybe when I retire one day!

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  7. T did a great job at the spelling test. Well done! It’s nice to know that the new school year has been good so far. What T wrote is really sweet, and funny. Not to make fart noises is a reasonable goal to begin with. 😆

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  8. Glad to hear T’s transition back to school is going well. It’s great that you’re prioritizing social interactions for him. And here’s hoping the dog therapy program works out. I got a good chuckle from T’s goal about “not to make fart noises”. And life would be so boring without any ups or downs.

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    1. Thanks Linda. If we can make social connections click for him, it’ll be so good and open up new doors for him. 🙏

      I do hope the dog therapy visit works too. It would really make him happy!

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    1. 😂😂😂 Too funny, Margie. Today was a rougher day at and on the school bus. They all can’t be winners but let’s hope there are more ups than downs this year ahead.

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    1. Thanks Wynne. It’s pretty darn exhausting but it’s so worth it! I know you can relate. 😊 I do hope the goal comes true in spades too. Hope your kids enjoy the week ahead too. 1 down!

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  14. Oh how beautiful!!! I just LOVE his goal … it shows such a depth of understanding and a desire to be a kind, compassionate person! You and your hubby have done a GREAT job, Ab! You guys should get gold medals … and one for T, too!!!

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  15. What a great start to grade 4 Ab! Didn’t you have a friend or relative a few years back for a Big Brother? How do you and hubby not giggle at the things T says and does, I was giggling just reading this post. Lol He seems to get more and more aware of how good behavior is more acceptable than bad. That is so cool he is learning French and that he has help at home from your hubby! It’s nice that you get a break from some of the homework. Kudos to you for advocating for FASD awareness, including participating on the virtual panel for caregivers. Tell T great job on that spelling test, awesome!

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    1. Thanks Diane! Yup, my cousin spends time with T from time to time. And we are hoping to expand his network. He craves friendship but it is often hard for him.

      He sure says things that both horrify and amuse. It is hard not to laugh, especially when we shouldn’t! 😆

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  16. I’m so excited for you, the hubby, and–especially–T! It’s so sweet that T recognizes and appreciates that he might need a little extra reminder to use kind words and not (playfully) risk offending others. You have every reason to be proud! Proactively finding a 1-1 mentor also sounds fantastic tool to help T navigate the tumultuous teen years.

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    1. Thanks Erin. We are very thankful for his CYW. His impulsivity gets him in a lot of trouble and unnecessarily inappropriate situations. The extra support is so so important. And I hope a 1-1 mentor can provide him with the additional supports! 🙏

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