Born This Way

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, gratitude, growth mindset, inclusion, LGBTQ2S+, music, Parenting, Pride, Resiliency, summer, TorontoTags:, , , , , , , , ,

We kicked off T’s summer by marching in Canada’s largest Pride parade and championed freedom to information.

I have a leadership role on my work’s Pride employee group and was part of the team that organized our march.

For the second year, we chose the theme of intellectual freedom and reused signs from last year, a mix of slogans such as “Freedom to Read ‘Em” and of book titles frequently challenged for featuring 2SLGBTQ+ content.

I carried the sign featuring “And Tango Makes Three” (below), one of my favourite picture books I read to T at bedtime, which tells the true story of two male penguins that raised a baby penguin.

With anti-2SLGBTQ+ sentiment rising around the world, and libraries facing increased intellectual freedom challenges, it is more important than ever to speak up against hate and intolerance.

If you don’t want to read books featuring gay people, don’t read them. If you don’t want to watch a drag queen lead a storytime, don’t join in. But don’t tell others what they can read and enjoy.

As our group neared the entry point of the parade, a woman stood in the middle of the street and started screaming semi-incoherently for us to repent or we would go to hell.

We ignored her and carried on with our message of love, respect and tolerance.

That really is the best way to respond.

The hubby is draped in the rainbow flag and T is wearing his cute new tilly hat.

T marched with us last Pride and he asked to march with us again.

I told the hubby to meet my colleagues and I close to the start of our entry into the parade, to lessen T’s wait in the loud crowded muster area and minimize chances for disregulation.

Aside from a few cranky impatient moments, T did great – and my heart is full.

One of my colleagues noted he was more outgoing this year.

My heart swelled watching him hand beads and our stickers – with messaging such as “Be Open,” “Be Curious,” “Be Brave,” – to kids and older adults sitting on camping chairs.

Our dog lover zeroed in on a few adorable pups along the way.

He shoved his way through a crowd to grab a photo with our mayor, Olivia Chow; also the wife of the late great Canadian NDP leader Jack Layton.

I am so proud of this kid.

He drives me crazy on a daily basis and his FASD makes some days hard. But on days like the Pride parade, his true self shines brightly.

As I was waiting in the chaotic crowded muster area with a few colleagues before we entered the parade, T came to hug me. It was his way of regulating himself.

Lady Gaga’s iconic “Born This Way” came on a nearby marcher’s portable speakers and the words resonated deeply at that moment.

“I’m beautiful in my own way

‘Cause God makes no mistakes

I’m on the right track baby

I was born this way.

Don’t hide yourself in regret

Just love yourself and you’re set

I’m on the right track baby

I was born this way.”

I always felt that a higher force brought T into the hubby and my lives and it likely would not have happened without T being born with FASD.

Life worked out in this way – and we’re on the right track baby, he was born this way.

The Glee cover of “Born This Way” is exceptional.

40 thoughts on “Born This Way”

  4. This is a beautiful post Ab. I love the ways you support T and very much appreciate your words regarding the freedom to choose. I wish more would hold this sentiment close to their hearts and live it in their actions.

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    1. Thank you LaDonna. It was a wonderful and meaningful outing and in the current landscape, it’s so important to do our part to advocate and to, as you say, live through our actions. 🙏 Hope you are doing well and enjoying your summer!

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  7. Powerful, heartwarming, insightful, and essential are just a few words (well, it’s actually four words) to describe your outstanding blog! Fabulous celebration of Canada Day for ALL!

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    1. Thanks Vickie! 🌈 We had a wonderful time and it was indeed a fabulous start to the Canada Day celebration. Hope you had a good 4th of July!

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  8. I remember watching this video online many years ago about a woman who got into an argument with a man inside the Tube (I think it was in London). If I remember it correctly, he complained about a gay couple in front of him. But then the woman told him if he didn’t like what he saw, then he should look away. That short video left a deep impression on me. It made me reflect on what I had been seeing all my life: people telling others to change something about them just because they don’t like it.

    It’s great to see all of you, especially T, enjoy this year’s Pride!

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    1. Thanks Bama! 🌈 I can see how that video has left an impression on you. I think civil society as a whole is eroding and it’s upsetting to see. We don’t know how to disagree in a civil way anymore.

      Pride was a great day and it reminds me of the things that are worth fighting and speaking up for. 🙏

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  9. Ab! This blog post is powerful; I mean, every single one of your posts are important, but this one truly struck a chord with me. The following particularly resonated with me: “With anti-2SLGBTQ+ sentiment rising around the world, and libraries facing increased intellectual freedom challenges, it is more important than ever to speak up against hate and intolerance.

    If you don’t want to read books featuring gay people, don’t read them. If you don’t want to watch a drag queen lead a storytime, don’t join in. But don’t tell others what they can read and enjoy.”

    One of the most important things I learned when I studied journalism was that if you don’t like the TV show, turn the channel. I, too, have a story to tell, a sad one but true. Perhaps one day I will be ready to share it with you and maybe even march alongside you in person. (In the interim, I march alongside you in solidarity metaphorically!)

    What an honor to get to know you and your beautiful family through your writing. What we need is love and understanding, not judgment and intolerance. 🤍🤍

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    1. Thank you Stacy for your kind words.

      I agree that civil society is eroding and I do think social media has accelerated so much of this division because it has made it easy for people to stew hateful comments, behind a keyboard, without consequences.

      So it’s important we do our part to spread a kinder and more uplifting message.

      Through your posts, I do see you have a compelling story to tell and I know it will touch many lives, and hopefully bring you healing, when you are ready to share it.

      And you’re always welcomed to march alongside us. 😊🌈

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  11. Love, respect and tolerance – oh, oh, oh, so good. Freedom to Read ‘Em. Also great. Love your cleverness and all the work you do to educate and inform and spread tolerance. So impressive!!

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  12. Save this post Ab for the tough days. I know I’ll be saving it because of the beautiful writing. “He drives me crazy on a daily basis and his FASD makes some days hard. But on days like the Pride parade, his true self shines brightly.” I need to constantly remind myself to stay in the moment, but one thing jumped out at me. I can’t wait until next year — if you guys walk again — to see how T does in his 3rd year. So brave of him and you. I’m sorry that we live in a world where people feel the need to try to thrust their views on others. We’ve come a long way but we have so much more to go. Beautiful post Ab.

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    1. Thanks Brian. 🌈 This indeed is one of those moments I will treasure during the ones that are harder. He did so great, despite a few cranky moments. I also long for a day when we don’t need things such as a Pride parade but we’re not quite there yet! 🙏

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  13. That’s awesome how T asked to participate in Pride again! And how fun that he got to meet Olivia Chow. Love the “Freedom to Read ‘Em” slogan. You’re absolutely right about how if someone doesn’t want to read and watch something, then don’t. But you can’t tell others how to live their lives. You do you and I’ll do me.

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    1. Thanks Linda. 🌈 I was a bit nervous about how he’d do as we had a much better placement this year, so it also meant more crowds. But he did great. 🙏

      Hope you’re enjoying your week. Just getting up and ready for another day of exploring. It’s so beautiful here in Banff!

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      2. It is so lovely and beautiful here and can’t wait to share some of the highlights. Our last day tomorrow and planning to check out Yoho. Sad it’s coming to an end but thankful for all the things we did and saw.

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      3. Welcome back! It’s always tough to leave when you’re having a good time (and when the weather is nice). Looking forward to seeing some of your pictures and hearing about your experiences.

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