Helping my third grader build writing skills is like making pizza; layer one ingredient on at a time.
The process sometimes feels like a struggle with a disability like FASD layered on top – but it nonetheless feels like I’m watching something special grow from infancy.
It brings back fond memories of the early days, when I obsessed over T being able to stack three blocks on top of another because that’s what toddlers were supposed to do developmentally; or counting the handful of words he could say; or reading his first words.
His short treasured history teaches us it’s about one step, one block, one sound, one word at a time.
Writing for T is a work in progress; he most certainly is not a fan of writing assignments.
If caregivers think doing homework with kids is tough, try layering on a disability that affects emotion regulation and impulse control.
I get called “dumb idiot,” “stupid fucker” or “fucking bitch” for initiating homework. And this is for spelling practice. I can’t wait for the nuclear meltdown when we work on essays one day. 🤣
Like pineapple on a pizza, I try not to take it personally, because it’s the FASD talking and once his verbal emotional diarrhea comes out and we co-regulate, he can do the work.
Consistency and routine are important for learning, even more so for children with FASD.
Occasional choice of words aside, T is a great storyteller and I’m often amused when I play with him or watch him play at how creative, articulate, funny and charming he is.
The trick is to help him translate all that good stuff and potential on the page.
Writing comes easier for me, as it’s long been an area of interest; it’s what I studied in my undergrad and I’ve done freelance work.
I am fascinated by the writing process and enjoy learning from others about their approach to writing, such as through Stephen King’s excellent memoir “On Writing” and William Strunk’s essential work “The Elements of Style.”
Learning practice is an important part of our weekend routine with T.
We block off 30 minutes each morning to read and do one activity focused on math or writing.
The key is to help him build mental models and learn how conventions like a title, introduction, transitions and conclusion all fit together.
T’s class was recently assigned a two-part procedural writing assignment: part one was to write detailed steps about how to make something and part two was to present it to the class.
T picked making pizza as his topic.
He and I first verbally listed the steps, which I wrote down. Then I had him write out the steps, including an introduction, transition words, and conclusion, helping him with spelling.
I think he did a very good job!
T then practiced hard over the weekend on his presentation.
We identified props he could use: dough, tray, pizza sauce (in a squeeze bottle), shredded cheese.
We discussed what his teacher expected: to talk clearly, not too fast or slow; regular eye contact; transition words; use props; detailed steps.
T loves to film “influencer videos,” so we filmed and watched practice videos to motivate him.
On the big day, the hubby and I got an excited text from his CYW that T did an excellent job.
“T explained how to make a pizza. He was very clear and he spoke to the audience. He even told them how long to bake a pizza for. As well as to cut up into triangle shapes and wait for it to cool then eat. Amazing.”
We were so proud and told T he did a great job.
As a reward, T got takeout for dinner – yes, not eating my cooking is a reward. 😆
His choice? Taco Bell. I guess he had enough of pizza.
My Life With T 
I’ve heard that one of the best ways to work on your presentation skills is to tape yourself. What a great idea to incorporate something T loves doing (film influencer videos … which btw is super adorable) and apply it to his homework. Glad to hear that he nailed it. I was totally expecting him to celebrate with pizza. But goes to show T loves keeping us all on our toes! It’s hard to believe it’s almost Christmas!
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Linda, it’s so nice to hear from you. I am guessing from your WordPress absence, you have other things keeping you busy! 😆 Hope things are going well over there and that you enjoy your first Christmas together.
And yes, he did a great job with the presentation. We are very proud of him.
Merry Christmas and all the best to you!
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You bet. Margaret was born two weeks ago on December 9th. We’re a bit sleep deprived, but everyone is happy and healthy. All that hiking during pregnancy must have worked wonders as I was actually able to walk home from the hospital afterwards (it’s about a 10 minute away from our house). We’ve been going for a stroll outside every day since then. Gotta get her used to the fresh air!
Happy holidays to you as well. Hopefully you’re able to take some time off work and can relax.
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Ahhhhh, congrats on baby Margaret. What a beautiful name. Yah, the sleep deprivation thing is gonna be your life for a while. 😆
I laughed out loud at the image of you walking home from the hospital! 😂😂😂 She’s gonna be hiking trails in 6 months with you and K as her parents.
Merry Christmas and enjoy this special time together! 💕🎄
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He really does hate homework 😁 All those names you get called for initiating homework
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Yup! 😆 Just wait till he’s a teenager.
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That’s a lovely pizza, and I love the analogy too! Kids gravitate towards the most colourful words! I once heard a line in a show that said, “Please don’t use the F-word on his answering machine. He has a 4 year old son that is remarkably intelligent”
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Thanks Claire. Oh these colourful words are going to keep us on our toes for the next long while! 😆
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Good job T! And as always I’m inspired and in awe of your patient parenting – I know it’s not easy.
Side note: “Like pineapple on pizza, I don’t take it personally” had me laughing so hard I was in tears. Also pineapple on pizza is delicious! 😛
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Thanks Caitlyn. It’s definitely not easy and we try to keep chugging along. 😊
I’m laughing at the pineapple comment. I actually love pineapples on pizza. I just need something in the sentence that ties into the pizza theme. 😆
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Getting a text like that makes all those tough times seem worth it. I hope you continue to blog because I can’t wait to see what you three have accomplished in 5 more years. You work so hard with T, you should be proud Ab.
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Thanks Diane. It was a nice moment for sure. We’re struggle a lot these days with rude and inappropriate language, so these bigger picture wins are amazing encouragement to receive too. 🙏😊
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Great job – that pizza looks tasty 😋
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Thanks Cherryl. 😊
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Oh, I am impressed with you not taking it personally – Intellectually, I get it, but your patience at the moment is impressive! I love the step-by-step process – I try to do that myself – it keeps me focused…
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Thanks Vickie. I find the language very challenging but all we can do is focus on the positives. 😊🙏
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I don’t know how the education system is now in Indonesia, but this assignment T and his classmates got sounds way ahead of what most schoolchildren in my part of the world get. It’s very encouraging to know T did a really good job presenting the steps of making pizza. At his age, I didn’t know how stuff worked, let alone breaking down the steps of doing/making something. I’m very impressed!
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That’s interesting you made that comment about the education system. I often feel like Asian countries are far ahead of us here in North America.
He is a good kid when he’s regulated and focused, and not all over the place. So I am thankful for that. 😊🙏
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Oh, I love this! Especially your hilarious conclusion. T did a great job. As did you and Hubby supporting him. I love this reminder, “His short treasured history teaches us it’s about one step, one block, one sound, one word at a time.”
Right – it’s all about sweating the small stuff and then all of a sudden we’re past that and onto the next learning thing.
Sending huge props and hugs to T! Hope you all have a great weekend!
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Thank you Wynne. It was a wonderful series of moments indeed. These are the ones I hang onto for the harder times.
Hope you four have a great weekend as well!
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“Like pineapple on a pizza, I try not to take it personally.” 🤣 I can only imagine how hard the hurtful words must be, even when you know it’s not you. I hope T eventually outgrows it, but if not… it’s just pineapple on the pizza. 😝
Great job, T! I love that you’ve helping him leverage his learning by having him choose the topic to present on and practice making “influencer videos” — whatever it takes to get kids onboard with and excited about learned, right? Your doing such a great job, Ab!
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Thanks Erin. The words can certainly sting but once we train our brain to reframe it as a symptom of his FASD, it becomes almost like white noise. 🙏
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You, my friend, are doing a great job! You have patience well beyond what I think I could muster, though we never know until faced with a situation. But T will find his niche, his ‘spot’ and when he does, the words will flow off the tips of his fingers! Ha ha … I had to laugh at “not eating my cooking is a reward” … I’ve seen enough pictures of your cooking to know better, but I did laugh! Hugs to T and to you!!!
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Thanks Jill. I really appreciate the kind comment because it can feel challenging when we’re in the trenches with him. But yes, we are indeed so proud of him for doing a great job with the assignment! 😊
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Ok if you get three replies I am sorry! I can’t figure WordPress out! Great job T! Keeping stories succinct and to the point is so tough for our brains. You nailed it! Your pizza looked delicious too! Keep up the great work guys!
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Third time is the charm, Rebecca! And no worries, I know how finicky WordPress can be.
And thanks for the kind words. I definitely have read storytelling is a gift for many people with FASD. And it indeed is a gift I see in T. 😊
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Great job T! Being succinct in writing is tough for us! And that pizza you made looks delicious! Keep up the great work you guys!
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Go T! That is great he did such a great presentation! I can talk up a blue streak but putting my voice to paper, writing directions, in order, and not going on an on…its tough for our brains! Great job T! That pizza looks delish!
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Oh what great progress Ab! Celebrate the wins. Yes, I can imagine patience is a must. My son has dyslexia. He’s older now, but I remember nights like you’ve described, he sent me a report recently that he wrote for work. It made me proud. Hang in there, keep fighting the good fight.
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Thank you Brian. I appreciate the kind words as well as the glimmer of hope in the story you shared about your son. I can certainly feel and sense your pride. 😊🙏
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Wonderful! Just for the record i like pineapple on my pizza. There, I said it 🙂
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Thanks Margie. I actually love pineapples on pizza too. Was just trying to find a way to carry the pizza theme through my post. 😆🍍
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😀
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