“Nothing makes the darkness go like the light…”
Earlier this week, the hubby and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary.
The day began with dark clouds and high winds.
Instead of seeing it as an unlucky #13 omen, I loved that the winds brought high waves in the usually calm bay – and with the gray sky, we got quite an atmospheric mood!
It was cold, so T stayed inside.
As I walked down the beach, I thought to summer 2018, when T joined us for a similarly moody walk.
When we were going through our seven-year adoption journey, a colleague shared that friends told her that adopting children with FASD ruined their marriage.
I think about this conversation from time to time, especially during the truly difficult in-the-trenches moments with T.
T has impacted our marriage in many ways. We’re busier, always tired, recurringly on edge, and always craving some free time. There is rarely a moment of quiet in our home.
I’m thankful to have continued opportunities to step back to view the bigger picture. And that is T has made our lives better, more fun and rewarding. Our adventures are always enjoyable because I experience them through his eyes.
I did reflect on my conversation with my colleague during T’s disregulated moments at his grandparents’, a difference from last summer.
Thankfully, the hubby and I continue to be aligned in our goals, priorities and approach – even if we get testy with each other during T’s moments.
And really, what more could I ask for?
This reddish heart-shaped rock I found during my walk on our anniversary morning agreed!
As I wrote on a recent morning note to T: “Rainy days help the flowers go. The sun will shine again soon!”
Our rainy moments help us grow – as individuals, parents, a couple, and as a family.
The sun did come out later that day. Thankfully, the wind continued to make lovely waves.
T joined us for an afternoon walk and I quietly took in the puffy clouds and rolling white waves slicing into the water. Just beautiful.
That evening, we took T and his cousin A to see a movie: DC’s League of Super Pets.
It was not how I’d imagine spending a wedding anniversary 13 years ago – but I was that grown man crying at the end of the animated movie about Superman’s superhero dog.
I loved that there was a positive message in the movie about adoption too!
Two days later, we got up at 4:30 am (Eastern time) to head off on our 16-hour drive home.
As we were packing our things into the car, I noticed the sun rising over the bay.
It was a cloudy day. Beams of warm orange light pierced through the dark clouds, casting a heavenly glow over the water.