Here Comes The Sun

“Nothing makes the darkness go like the light…”

Earlier this week, the hubby and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary.

The day began with dark clouds and high winds.

Instead of seeing it as an unlucky #13 omen, I loved that the winds brought high waves in the usually calm bay – and with the gray sky, we got quite an atmospheric mood!

This driftwood was washed on shore!

It was cold, so T stayed inside.

As I walked down the beach, I thought to summer 2018, when T joined us for a similarly moody walk.

T’s red sweater popped against the gray day.

When we were going through our seven-year adoption journey, a colleague shared that friends told her that adopting children with FASD ruined their marriage.

I think about this conversation from time to time, especially during the truly difficult in-the-trenches moments with T.

T has impacted our marriage in many ways. We’re busier, always tired, recurringly on edge, and always craving some free time. There is rarely a moment of quiet in our home.

I’m thankful to have continued opportunities to step back to view the bigger picture. And that is T has made our lives better, more fun and rewarding. Our adventures are always enjoyable because I experience them through his eyes.

I did reflect on my conversation with my colleague during T’s disregulated moments at his grandparents’, a difference from last summer.

Thankfully, the hubby and I continue to be aligned in our goals, priorities and approach – even if we get testy with each other during T’s moments.

And really, what more could I ask for?

This reddish heart-shaped rock I found during my walk on our anniversary morning agreed!

As I wrote on a recent morning note to T: “Rainy days help the flowers go. The sun will shine again soon!”

Our rainy moments help us grow – as individuals, parents, a couple, and as a family.

The sun did come out later that day. Thankfully, the wind continued to make lovely waves.

T joined us for an afternoon walk and I quietly took in the puffy clouds and rolling white waves slicing into the water. Just beautiful.

That evening, we took T and his cousin A to see a movie: DC’s League of Super Pets.

It was not how I’d imagine spending a wedding anniversary 13 years ago – but I was that grown man crying at the end of the animated movie about Superman’s superhero dog.

I loved that there was a positive message in the movie about adoption too!

Two days later, we got up at 4:30 am (Eastern time) to head off on our 16-hour drive home.

As we were packing our things into the car, I noticed the sun rising over the bay.

It was a cloudy day. Beams of warm orange light pierced through the dark clouds, casting a heavenly glow over the water.

22 thoughts on “Here Comes The Sun

  1. Happy Anniversary! Storms may come and go, but the most important thing is you and your spouse are on the boat and moving to the same direction. I’m glad that sounds like where you and your husband are at.

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    1. Well, I wasn’t quite done but my aged fingers hit the wrong button! Congratulations to you both! 13 years is a lot of time to learn the good and the not-always-so-good about a person! That picture is amazing!!! The sun reflected on the water … so beautiful and I’ve never seen anything quite like it. And lastly … young T could not have asked for better parents and someday he will truly appreciate all that you have both given of yourselves. Hang in, and here’s to the next 13 … or 50!!!

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  2. I am told sometimes that my mom wishes she had my brain. Everyday is a new day. While this is true, and I live in the moment most times, my brain has its struggles too. I have faith that you and your husband will weather every FASD storm together and. Ome out stronger. So will T because he has such amazing roll models.. Happy Anniversary!

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    1. Thank you, Rebecca! I think you made a good point – we all have strengths and weaknesses, whether we’re considered neurodiverse or not. The trick is build on the strengths and embrace the challenges. Thanks for the vote of confidence. It’s always helpful to hear from someone with lived experience! 🙏

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  3. Happy belated wedding anniversary. I love how you are able to always look at the bright side of things and find beauty even when it’s dark and gloomy outside. That sunrise when you were leaving looked gorgeous. Hope you had a safe drive back home.

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    1. Thanks Linda! It really was a beautifully gloomy atmospheric sight. 😊 The drive was 15.5 hours yesterday and made it home early (9:30) and passed right out in bed. 😆

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      1. As you said, the nice thing about the stormy looking weather was the waves, which are always so mesmerizing to watch. That’s a long drive! But it’s good to get it done all at once so you have the weekend to hopefully relax!

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  4. Beautiful post, Ab! Congratulations on 13 years! What an accomplishment and a journey. I love how you get perspective – and how you reflect it in sentences like “I’m thankful to have continued opportunities to step back to view the bigger picture.” Gratitude, perspective, love – they make such a difference. Beautiful!!

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    1. Thank you, Wynne! Gratitude, perspective, love are indeed some of the key ingredients to lasting in this crazy wild exciting rewarding journey of life with T! 😊

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  5. Even through all the cloudy days, your family inspires me because of the balance you bring to one another’s lives. You and the hubby giving T a wonderful life of memories along with the joy he brings to you both. I love that you can view things through his eyes, that’s beautiful and makes all the difference.
    By the way, I use to think 13 was unlucky….until my daughter was born on 7/13 which happened to be a Friday,lol at 7:13am weighing 7lbs 13 oz. The kicker is before she was even born, I played lotto numbers for the 1st time ever in Michigan when I was pregnant with her. 7-13 $1 box & $1 straight and won. I’d forgot I bought the ticket until my aunt who was with me reminded me, lol. So since, it’s become my lucky #, haha.

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    1. Thank you, Tammy, for the kind words. The word “balance” is definitely key to getting through the crazier harder days so that we can focus and get to the wonderful memory making. 😊

      That is a pretty wild story of your experiences with the #13, especially with the birth of your daughter. If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is! 7 and 13 are also both prime numbers, meaning they can’t be divided by anything other than itself. I can see why they’re you’re lucky number! 😊

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