Reaping What You Sow

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, gratitude, growth mindset, Kindness, learning, love, Parenting, wellbeingTags:, , , , , ,

“Papa!” T said excitedly as we headed off to the outdoor pool. “The corn is taller than me now!”

During the last month of school, his class went on an excursion to a farm to learn about planting and animals. Each student got four small seed pots they could each continue to care for at home.

T planted his in our backyard: corn, bean, and two flowers.

I do not have a green thumb and I leave outdoor work to the hubby.

But it was fun to watch the plants grow through T’s eyes, as he regularly checked on “my children.”

Oh, you can imagine the hysterics when one of the two flowers died. 🤣

You reap what you sow.

The energy we give to the world is the energy we invite back into our lives.

As a caregiver, I believe that what we give to our children is harvested one day – the crop is unique and personal to each family.

We help our children find the right space to grow – light their way, nourish their mind, hydrate their soul, pollinate connections, and weed the bad stuff.

When a plant struggles, the gardener changes the environment in which it’s growing, to help it thrive.

In early summer, T harvested his handful of beans and enjoyed them for dinner. 🥰

Nature is resilient.

I recently listened to a podcast where a mom said she wished she enjoyed her adult autistic daughter’s childhood more. But she was so stressed about the daily challenges.

It made me realize that we can fixate on things, like T initially watching the soil and wondering when something would sprout.

I’m learning and getting a lot better at finding the balance between watering the plant and to stepping away – and to have faith that growth happens when we let children be.

This past Saturday, our outing to the outdoor pool got off to a rocky start.

I told T we had to leave by 3, because rain was expected at 5. He said he didn’t want to go swim anymore so I took a nap.

He storms into my room at 4 asking to go swim and I told him it was too late.

Cue the meltdown, running outside to scream at the hubby, who was mowing the lawn, that I was being a bad parent.

I told him that if he wanted to go then he needed to calm down first.

It took a few more rounds of him screaming what a bad parent I was before he calmed down. 😂

As I backed the car out, T said he wanted to let the hubby know we were leaving.

As he exited the backyard, he told me excitedly about the corn being taller than him.

It was his first time seeing it after over two weeks, as we were away visiting his grandparents in New Brunswick.

During our drive, I told T that I was glad we both turned the afternoon around.

I asked him what he learned from this incident and he said he needed to be calmer when he asks me to do something for him next time.

Then I told him I learned to set an alarm when I take a nap so I don’t oversleep.

When we arrived at the pool, dark clouds were gathering. There was a handful of people, so we basically had the pool to ourselves.

For an hour, we played, splashed and laughed, oblivious to the darkening clouds – the earlier meltdown, a distant memory.

Photo at top: Sunrise on our last morning in New Brunswick earlier this month. I enjoyed watching seagulls on the beach, while people were asleep.

29 thoughts on “Reaping What You Sow”

  1. I love your conversation with T during the drive to the swimming pool. It teaches him that giving feedback can go both ways, but it has to be done with a calm head. Harvesting the food you grow is so satisfying, isn’t it? During the pandemic I managed to grow water spinach, and weeks later I made a stir-fry dish with it.

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    1. Thanks Bama. I agree the feedback and debrief conversation is so important – but only with a calm mind. 😊🙏

      Water spinach is called Kang Kong in the Philippines and it’s one of the veggie dishes I miss. How awesome you got to grow and enjoy it! 😋

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      2. 😊 How do you make it?

        I’m gonna have to look up local restaurants that serve it here now. It’s been a long time. And your comment triggered a warm memory.

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  2. Dang, those beans are big — and so is T! There is so much goodness in this post – about reaping what we sow, about the resilience of nature and human beings, and about always learning. I love how you turned it around. Beautiful featured photo — one of the wonderful memories of the summer!

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    1. Thanks Wynne. He was quite proud of those beans! 😊🤣 It’s been a wonderful summer and I’m sad that it seems to be wrapping up.

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  3. As other have said, I love the layers, poignancy, and how both you and T keep learning and growing–perhaps most important–remain open to life’s lessons. It’s always such a joy to read your posts and I always appreciate your takeaways from situations that may a bit trying.

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    1. Thanks Erin. This post basically wrote itself thanks to the inspiration of T standing next to his corn. The favourite kind of posts to write and share. 🥰

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  5. Your family is not alone Ab in the ups and downs of growing and learning. The 14yo teen lives for drama. She was sure her phone was totally dead this AM and had that panicked look. She wouldn’t believe her mom so I calmly said “push and HOLD the on button” and what do you know…the phone turned on. She walked away in a huff. The almost 11yo was in supreme meltdown mode over the weekend. I swear she is hormonal so won’t that be fun. I may never come out of the basement. Quiet school days are such a relief 🙂

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    1. Thanks Deb. I always appreciate the reassurance I’m part of a larger community navigating this. Oh, I already look so forward to the teenage meltdown and attitude. 🙄😂 I may just move into my basement as well!

      Good luck to the grandkids with back to school though. This summer just flew by!

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  6. This post is brilliant on so many levels. You’ve tied everything together beautifully. Everyone and everything keeps growing in with circumstances that might not be expected.

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    1. Thanks Beth. I love the metaphor between children and nature – this post wrote itself thanks to the photo of T standing next to his corn. 🥰

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  7. “…learning and getting a lot better at finding the balance between watering the plant and to stepping away – and to have faith that growth happens when we let children be.” You’re doing better than me Ab!!! I still need reassurance that everything is ok and my kids are now adults. Yikes!

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    1. Thanks Brian. I can assure you I can be hot mess between the blog posts too. 😂 I imagine as T gets older and we start navigating things like going out at night, sleepovers, etc. – it’ll open up a whole new world of overthinking for me! 🤣

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  8. Love the stunning sunrise morning capture. It’s very cute to hear T refer to his plants as his children and glad he got to enjoy some of the fruits (or rather beans) from his labour! I haven’t quite found that balance between the nurturing and stepping away part. I imagine it continues to change as our kids get older, which means there’s always opportunities to learn, even for us adults. Glad to hear that you were both able to put T’s meltdown aside and still enjoy the rest of the afternoon by going for a swim.

    Looking forward to lunch today 🙂

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    1. Thanks Linda. I write it in a slight frazzled state as TTC rerouted my bus and I didn’t clue in until after its scheduled arrival time. So I’m now taking an alternate route to work. 😂 I need to let this one go.

      I do anticipate as M gets older, you and K will find the right balance between nurturing and stepping away. She is so young right now so it’s natural to be more hands on.

      See you later for lunch!

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  9. Beautiful, Ab. You manage to pack layers and layers of poignancy into your posts. I always get a wave a grace from them. Truth, authenticity, love. And actionable nudges about how we can all “do better” – for ourselves and those we love. A great Monday morning meditation, my friend. ❤️❤️❤️

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    1. Thanks Vicki! This was a natural “layered” post. The metaphor was pretty apparent when I watched T standing next to his corn with pride. 🥰 Happy Monday to you too – may it be filled with slivers of goodness ahead!

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    1. Thanks Arlene! It’s a good lesson and habit. We’re hoping next Spring to give T his own space to plan, plant and grow his own crops. I think it’ll do him some good to gain this responsibility. 😊🙏

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  11. Moments of learning often follow a storm. Talking it out after a meltdown is one of the most valuable things we can do with children.

    I love these lines: “I’m learning and getting a lot better at finding the balance between watering the plant and to stepping away – and to have faith that growth happens when we let children be.”

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    1. Thanks AnneMarie. I definitely see this in my and the hubby’s families too. We will always be children in our parents’ eyes. 😊🤣

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