We celebrated Easter with chocolate for our son but for me, it’s more and more about finding grace.
As I get older, I find the Easter message of forgiveness and reconciliation so compelling, especially as a caregiver of a child with FASD.
Underlying this message is the importance to give grace – to others and unto yourself.
We had planned a lowkey Easter with T. It started off pleasant enough – with a fun night out to watch the Super Mario Galaxy Movie on Good Friday.
T woke up in a crabby mood on Saturday and – while I should know better by now – triggered me and I was not going to let a snide comment about the fried egg I made for his breakfast slide. 😂
It ruined my mood and I kept to myself in my room most of the day.
Bless T’s heart. He did everything to make up for it – from coming into my room with treats throughout the day, to tidying up his toys in the living room, to poking his head in to say, “Love you.”
But I needed more time.
T whined to the hubby and the hubby explained to T that while he is able to get over things quickly, others often need more time.
Michael Harris, an FASD advocate with lived experience, wrote an excellent post about the tired that often comes with caregiving – especially during harder moments when your mind is processing the whirlwind of frustration, anger, guilt, sadness, anxiety, tiredness and so on.
Grace with others and with yourself is important.
Easter Monday was a calm transition from an otherwise relaxing weekend back to our routines.
T helped with my meal prep and grocery run, and did reading with me. Then in the evening, he got ready for bed in record time and with no fuss.
I took bedtime to acknowledge the disregulation – his and mine – earlier that weekend.
I told T that life with him feels like a rollercoaster at times, but so long as he’s sitting next to me, we can enjoy the fun highs and get through the chaos and drops together.
I gave him a hug and kiss then we went to bed.
My Life With T 
Wow wasn’t T a sweet boy to bring you treats. Those are the moments that take away the stomach churns the roller coaster brought!
LikeLiked by 1 person
He sure is a sweet boy and even more so when he is seeking reconciliation! 🥰
LikeLike
Lovely photos of T. You can’t get enough but hug him. I’m having a power rest Sunday, too. We need to breathe. Happy Sunday, Ab!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Hazel! 😊 Enjoy your power rest Sunday. Ours is just starting!
LikeLike
Grace – so important. I love your opener, “for me, it’s more and more about finding grace.” It’s so hard when things go south. I love that you share the path back to love and closeness. T is so lucky to have you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Wynne. One of the best lessons and approaches to life as we and our kids get older. 😊
LikeLike
Raising children has plenty of those roller coaster moments. If you’re looking for a thrill ride of highs and lows, sign up to be a parent. Fortunately, every negative moment is far overshadowed by the good ones.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Pete. To be honest, I’d be happy with a tamer Merry Go Round or even a park bench would be nice from time to time. 🤣 But I play the cards I have and am thankful it’s with T by our side! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Grace Dad, give yourself some much needed grace! Life is a rollercoaster and yes, has it’s ups and it’s downs, but so much better when there is love and honesty. Love that T tried to make it right. Hang in there Ab. Dads need balance too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Brian. 😊 Grace and balance are such blessings during these moments!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I mean…life in general is a rollercoaster and has its ups and downs. We all have days when we are more sensitive and take things in a much more dramatic way than we would have otherwise. We find grace where we can.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh yes, Margie, kids know how to push the buttons and wear down the sensitivity armour. 🤣 Grace is such kindness during these moments! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your honesty with T – after giving yourself the time to find your grace, centering yourself – is so wise and rich. The tendency to respond too quickly (IMHO) often results in communication with edges. Often unintended sharpness. I’m always in awe of you and your ability to move through…reflect…and then share with us. Much love, Ab! 💝💝💝
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Vicki. The opportunity to reflect is a gift of grace I’m lucky to be offered. Certainly puts everything in calmer and clearer perspective! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are generous to share with us, my friend. Xo! 😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is nice to know you can really talk to your son Ab and he listens. How sweet of him to do things to make you happy.😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
He doesn’t always listen but when we have the moments when things click, it really is a blessing! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
yes, it’s a roller coaster ride for everyone and self care is important for the care givers as well as the one being cared for. it sounds like T really picked up on your need for a little extra grace and care from him and you for yourself. you are all leaning this balance, and this is a very good thing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Beth. The moments when I see those glimmers of maturity and growth in him are true blessings. I cherish and hang onto them! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure in those stressful moments it’s tough to cope with T’s disregulated behaviors and it’s best to step away. I think parents in general can relate on some level to that need for separation for a time. T is making great strides though and I see & hear of his ability every time you write Ab. Even in the short time that I’ve been reading your blog you’ve highlighted the ways that T is maturing and expanding his understanding of others and their needs, along with how he can have either a positive or negative impact in those moments. You and hubby are nurturing an honest, open environment for T to learn how to be a good human while assuring him he will always be loved even in those harder moments. That’s exactly what he needs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Deb. I really appreciate this kind encouragement. 😊 As I’m in the weeds of day to day parenting, I often don’t see it – and it helps to have people like you point out these observations. This made me smile extra this sleepy Sunday morning!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ab, it’s so nice that you can/do give yourself grace. I had to learn that foe myself, especially as a parent.
The other great thing that stood out is T’s attempt at trying to reconcile by checking up on you in your room. It shows his growth & that you & the hubby are great parents doing your absolute best. I’m sure you know, it’s OK. Often, we need those times alone, even if only to regroup & calm ourselves. Sending hugs to you all!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Tammy! 😊 Grace is a wonderful gift and we have to remember to extend it to ourselves too as grownups! The reconciliation part is what still makes me smile when I reflect on this otherwise relaxing weekend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, Ab, this is beautiful: “I told T that life with him feels like a rollercoaster at times, but so long as he’s sitting next to me, we can enjoy the fun highs and get through the chaos and drops together.” While it sounds like he can be a handful at time, it’s touching that T can recognize when he’s perhaps hurt your feelings and offer small gestures to let you know that he noticed his error and is trying to make things right. Grace, indeed.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Erin. The continued efforts to make things better is still what makes me smile. 😊 It’s those glimmers of growth that give me optimistic hope that things will be ok!
LikeLiked by 1 person