We’ve had a busy few weeks that culminated in a School Services Team (SST) meeting the past week.
The hubby and I both feel that T’s main teachers – he has two, who do half day each – don’t understand how to work with him.
It doesn’t help that he lost his CYW support in late September, after a strong start, nor do we have the most positive relationship with the new principal.
Kids pick up on energy and it’s no wonder T has had challenging moments, including disruptive behavior, the past few weeks.
In the fall, we provided consent for the school board to conduct a psychological assessment, because we felt the outcome could provide an additional tool to advocate for supports when T moves to middle school this fall.
The board psychologist was a pleasure to work with and she presented her findings at the SST meeting: T meets the criteria for a learning disability.
In case you’re wondering, here’s a primer on the difference between a learning disability and intellectual disability.
The crucial part of the assessment is that T has many wonderful strengths and the data supports him to continue in a regular classroom with supports.
This was wonderful, because the principal keeps pushing us to place T in an intensive support program, which we feel does not align with his learning profile, strengths and potential.
T’s tutor also agrees with the assessment.
I feel more strongly now that some administrators try to put kids into intensive programs, because they don’t know how to support kids like T, and try to take the path of least resistance.
And that does not sit well with me.
Our next step is to attend an Identification and Placement Review Committee meeting, where board staff will review T’s profile, hear from us then make a recommendation for T next year.
The psych assessment will be crucial data to support our advocacy for T at the IPRC.
So I feel positive for the Spring ahead.
After a long winter, it’s a beautiful weekend in our city. The sun is out and with double digit temperature, the giant piles of snow are melting.
I’ve made peace with the fact that T’s teachers are not going to jive with him.
So we’re focusing our energy to help T finish his year on a positive note and to prepare him for the big transition this fall.
There are many strengths and progress to build on.
T connects with his tutor, who supports and challenges him. He now reads grade-level novels.
T’s making awesome progress with swimming and having fun with soccer.
His disregulated moments are still brutal but I also see glimmers of emotional resilience and maturity.
T had his fourth monthly session with his psychologist on Friday. It was the first session that I felt him coming out of his shell. I heard loud table banging and thought it was going off the rails, but they were roleplaying and having fun.
Progress, not perfection, is all I dream of, hope for and strive for with T.
My Life With T 
I have to say that your instincts and insider knowledge of knowing your own child, are highly likely to be absolutely on target. based on what you’ve said here, the tutor’s input, and the psych assessment, all of these factors support your choices for T as well. sometimes the teachers in any given classroom or year, aren’t always the best fit, or fully understand a child, or don’t connect in a way that feels good for either side, and probably is what he’s sensing. luckily the year is over in a few months, and T has had other adults to support him through this year.
it sounds like he is continuing to make progress in the right direction, in spite of any setbacks or challenging moments and learning how to self-regulate more frequently. what amazing progress he’s made with his reading, and it’s wonderful that he enjoys it!
soon you’ll be able to plan for next year, and personally, I think it’s great that he’s a part of a mainstream population, who can model what to do in all kind of situations, with additional support as needed, as you’ve been doing. just my opinion –
LikeLike
Ugh, this brings back some painful memories. It sucks to see setbacks after such strong improvement, but It looks like the assessment will lead everyone in the right direction. I hope it all works out next year!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I believe that T will do well in the regular class. Hugs to both of you. I think we just don’t limit people’s capabilities.
LikeLike
As someone who worked in the school system for a long time, I hear what you are saying, Ab. Schools are imperfect places, with educators who bring varying degrees of talent and ability to the table. As you already know, many are wonderful while others leave a lot to be desired. Schools can’t legally do anything without your consent. Your role is to be the best advocate for T. Trust your gut when it comes to what you think is best for him, because you and your husband know him better than anyone. Hopefully, the school will support your wishes.
LikeLike
It has to be frustrating and upsetting the the people you want to put your trust in aren’t stepping up to do the job and recognize T’s capabilities. You three are a team, an excellent team, and with the help of those who understand and know T I’m sure things will fall into place and his next year will surely be better.
LikeLike
I’m sorry things are so tough, but I love your attitude: get through this school year with as much grace as possible, do what you can as parents at home to support T, and get geared up for a fresh start in the fall. My 7th grade teach (in a Catholic school) would always do a call and response: Let go and let God, Let God and let go. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is accept the situation and trust that things are playing out as they’re meant to. Hang in there, Ab, and enjoy the burgeoning spring! 🌷
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dang, that sounds like a bunch of tough factors affecting his education this year, Ab. But I love that you are playing chess with the school system – setting up the best play for the future while it sounds like they are playing checkers. You do it one step at a time and have such a thoughtful approach.
You, Hubby and T are so resilient and aligned. I love it! Here’s to making the system work!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ughhhh! This brings me back to my struggles with my son Tyler (autism diagnosis) and the school system…My son – as most kids are energetically intuitive beyond what they can even communicate- unfortunately teachers burn out – give up – or don’t jive as you say with certain children.
The biggest mistake I ever made (maybe I’ll post) was when Tyler was in 5th grade and he had such disdain for his teacher – but I kept blaming him for it. He wouldn’t look her in the eye – his body language was so “rude” to her so I thought, I even spent an afternoon in the classroom to see if I could gain some understanding.
I needed up thinking it was just my sons poor attitude- well I was wrong.
A very caring para professional approached me (risking her job) and told me that the teacher was continually unkind to my son.
I felt horrible – and I had him transferred.
You sound like you and your hubby are very involved and listening with open hearts 💖you are doing so good for this intuitive boy! And the world will benefit greatly 💖💖god bless
LikeLiked by 1 person
So really nice to hear that T is doing well. Have have good start of the week Ab.😘
LikeLike