Story of My Life

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, gratitude, growth mindset, music, Parenting, Resiliency, schoolTags:, , , , , , ,

I made it home just in time for a special unexpected bedtime routine with T.

With thanks to the hubby, I had a rare weeknight out to support colleagues at an event.

As I texted the hubby on the subway ride home, he let me know it was a rougher night; T was very disregulated and had aggressive meltdowns.

But thankfully, he had calmed down when I got home to put him to bed and unexpectedly, he asked to read two books at bedtime.

We had not read at bedtime in a while. He picked two board books we kept after a recent declutter: Toronto ABC and Canada ABC by Paul Covello.

T had long outgrown these books but they were books we read countless times over the years.

With his head rested on my shoulders, we took a trip down memory lane, as T pointed out where we had been together over the years.

Like Toronto’s Distillery District, where they host a charming Christmas market every year.

Or taking the ferry over to Toronto Island, where T went on his first amusement park rides and I have a vivid memory of him enjoying ice cream under the shade of a tree.

Countless walks at Nathan Phillips Square, including after a recent event to support FASD Awareness Day.

The memory of T’s first time at Pearson Airport at age 1 looking at an airplane as we waited to board a flight to visit his grandparents in New Brunswick for Christmas.

“I’ve been here. The ROM!” T shouted as I turned the page.

“Yes you have,” I said, reminding him he’s been with his class and his cousin, A.

T should be for T but in this case, it was the CN Tower, where he bravely walked on the glass floor and I watched from the opaque floor nearby.

The many visits to the waterfront, where my late sister lived.

How quickly time flies from when T first visited at 15 months old on a stroller.

And the Zoo, which he visited for the first time with my late Ma. I had to pause and look at this photo below for a moment.

Last Wednesday, the entertainment world was rocked by the sudden death of One Direction boyband member, Liam Payne.

I’m not a diehard fan, but have memories of their hit song “Story of My Life” playing during family roadtrips over the years.

What struck me most was how young he was and the tragic circumstances that surrounded his death.

In the back of my hubby and my mind is the fear of T being an adolescent with FASD going down a path of mental health and addiction challenges, as Payne reportedly struggled with.

Statistically, the odds put T at risk. Challenging evenings such as the recent one certainly don’t put us at ease.

The day after Payne’s death, the hubby and I accompanied T to his cross country meet.

He and four schoolmates made it to round 2, where T would compete with the Top 40 Grade 4 boys from four quadrants that competed separately in round 1 – his first time in the second round.

The hubby and I already had the day off so I was able to attend T’s meet for the first time since he started doing cross country three years ago.

The bad news is T did not finish in the Top 20 and didn’t advance to the final city-wide race.

He was disappointed but it quickly wore off. However, he did very well still! 40th place and only 20 seconds behind the 20th place. That’s amazing!

I cherished being there that day, to see T play with classmates and random dogs, to see him ask for good luck hugs from the hubby as he waited at the starting line, to see his face light up when we screamed and jumped as he ran past us at the cheering line mid route, and to be there for him at the finish line.

Like a book or a cross country race, our life story has a beginning and an end. These are certain.

The middle is less certain, despite educated guesses, statistics, hopes, fears and fleeting successes and challenges.

And that’s what makes life so worthwhile.

38 thoughts on “Story of My Life”

  1. I always want to reply, but it doesn’t take. I know you are worried about T falling into addiction, because he was born addicted. You and your hubby and the school have created such an amazing support system for T, his chances of addiction are lower than if he didn’t have support. You all are doing amazing. I am so excited he is doing Cross Country! It was my favorite sport in high school.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you! I think this is Rebecca? Anonymous comments have to be approved before they show up on my post.

      And thanks for your reassuring words. It’s been a tough past two weeks with T, so I appreciate the gentle encouragement. 😊

      Like

      Reply

  2. I ALWAYS want to leave messages, but usually I read on my phone and there is something where it doesn’t add my comments. So, I know you are nervous about T’s future. You and your hubby and the school are an incredible support system. That makes the odds of him falling through the cracks into addiction and spiraling lower than if he didn’t have your love an support. I am so excited he is doing cross country. It was my favorite sport!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. You know you can never get rid of that book! My third grade teacher gave me a book called “A Fish Out of Water” and I still have it. I was the top reader in 3rd grade and that’s why she gave it to me. T will love looking back on all the wonderful places you ave taken him when he reads that book. That had to be hard seeing your Ma in the picture but what a wonderful memory Ab. That was quite an accomplishment with T not getting upset about not making the top 20 and you’re right, he did so good being seconds away.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Diane. We have sentimental items we keep for memories, like clothes and books. It instantly conjures up happy memories just by looking at them. I bet that “Fish Out of Water” book does the same for you too! 💕

      It was definitely sad seeing Ma in that photo but the memories are so positive and wonderful. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  7. This is such a warm and poignant post, Ab. I love how you’re able to reflect on your life while engaging in activities like reading a book with T. As an adult, I realize how fast time flies, and it forces me to be more mindful of what I’m doing now, and to put more meaning into what seems to be mundane things. Looking at how much T has grown from your photos makes me think of the kind of world he will have to face in the not-too-distant future. I hope by that time he will know that when life feels hard, he has the support from the people who truly love him. And he can always re-read Toronto ABC to rekindle the sweet memories with you, your husband, and your late mother and sister.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Bama! The mundane things can often be the things that we cherish in hindsight. And yes, I do often think about the kind of world he will have to face as he gets older. Some days, it’s hard to think about. Most days, I hang onto hope and optimism that it’ll be all ok. 🙏💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  8. And that’s what makes life so worthwhile. Yes!

    I love all these pictures from T’s life mirroring the places in the book. What an incredible post to celebrate Liam Payne as well as your own journey.

    And for what it’s worth, Miss O has been melting down at bedtime too, lately. Growth spurt?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Wynne for the validating and supportive comment. 💕 The seemingly endless and repetitive meltdowns are thr worst and on many days, my patience is just non existent to deal with it all. 😆 But hindsight helps put it all into perspective. 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Bedtime really is the worst for me. I’ve got nothing left in the tank myself so I know I’m not at my best either. I’m thinking about trying a two minute meditation break before we start our routine to restore at least one of us…

        Liked by 1 person

  9. what a lovely post and a wonderful turnaround for T. he may have outgrown the books based on his age, but his heart has not outgrown them. it was clear by how he was able to calm and recall the treasured memories that the books inspired in him. so good that both of you could be at his meet, that is an amazing accomplishment and I know that it made huge difference to him to have you there. very sad about Liam’s way to early passing, and sadly it seems that child celebrities are not supported once they ‘age out’ and often abused along they way, something they carry with them. with two loving parents supporting him, T has such a tremendous advantage in life and so lucky he has you both by his side as he navigates the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you Beth. We decluttered quite a bit recently, but kept a few books that have significant sentimental value to him and us as his parents. 💕 Being at the meet was a memory I’ll treasure. And yes, I hear you on child celebrities. It’s a vicious horrible cycle.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. So good to hear. At one point one of my daughters in her early middle school years decided she didn’t like reading anymore. The point is not so much what they read, but that they read and they look at and hear books. We went to the library, sat on the floor in the children’s section and pulled out all of her childhood favorites and read them together, we laughed and almost missed it sometimes with the memories of some of them. That was turning point for her and soon after she was immersed in reading again it’s like magic how that works.❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. This is beautiful advice. Thanks for sharing this story of hope. What a treasured memory being in that library was. Coincidentally, it’s time for our reading practice. Wish me luck! 😆

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Ab, I love each and every post you write about your journey as a parent. They are so filled with wonder, understanding, and love. I was left with a smile on my face at the end of reading this one, yet again. Bravo!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Margie. 💕 These books are excellent and I recommend them for young Canadian readers. The Canada one was good too. And yes, you are right. X is for the Ex in the Toronto edition! A place we’ll have to take him one day to.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  14. These board books look absolutely adorable, especially the Toronto one. I picked up a few Canadian themed books at a library sale last year by Kim Bellefontaine, but board books are much better suited for her now. I used to work near Union and would often go to the Christmas Market at the Distillery District. I haven’t been in years though. Same with a bunch of these other places like the ROM and Toronto Islands. This makes me want to visit the city like a tourist with M. Sounds like a fun trip down memory lane!

    Even though T didn’t advance to the next round, it sounds like he has a lot to be proud of! And that’s great that you were able to cheer him on. While there’s a lot about the story of T’s life that’s unwritten, one thing is for sure – he has amazing parents and a strong support system to get him through the tough times and to celebrate the wins and successes with!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thanks Linda! Did you go to the Used Book Sale at the Reference Library? If so, let me know when you go next and I’ll come say hi.

      I bet baby M finds board books and Canadian themed ones to be interesting too.

      You and the fam should definitely do a Toronto wander one of these days. So many fantastic gems to explore in our urban jungle! 😊

      Like

      Reply

      1. I went to our local library which is right around the corner from our house. I must say it’s very convenient to live by the library! I’ll have to check out the sale at the Reference Library when I’m back at work though. I just looked on their website and it looks like they had one in September. And yes, we’ll have to grab a coffee when I’m back at work. It’s crazy how quickly the time has gone by!

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Did my comment show up?Sent from IPhone Vickie RubinRaising Jess A Story of Hope Gold Medal Award Winner -Readers’ Favorite International, “A truly enlightening read” (Kirkus Review) – check out this link – :0) “Always Choose Hope!”Vickie’s ViewsRaising Jess: A Story of Hope-Memoir- AMAZON

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  16. Such a great blog! I walked down memory lane to a lot of your sights.
    I loved your lines:

    Like a book or a cross country race, our life story has a beginning and an end. These are certain.

    The middle is less certain, despite educated guesses, statistics, hopes, fears and fleeting successes and challenges.

    And that’s make life so worthwhile.

    so profound, my friend

    v

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a Reply