Big Brother

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, growth mindset, learning, mentorship, ParentingTags:, , , , , , , , ,

This is the start of a beautiful friendship.

Last fall, T’s child and youth worker made the excellent suggestion to look into a Big Brother-style mentorship program for T.

I believe in mentorship and surrounding T with positive influences is important, because making friends is hard for kids with FASD.

Despite best efforts, we have yet to find a program that feels right and one that is FASD informed.

A few weeks ago, while celebrating the hubby’s birthday with my uncle’s family, my cousin J suggested that he and T hang out one on one.

When my family came to Canada when I was 8, I grew close to my cousin J and his sister; enjoying sleepovers, watching Power Rangers, collecting X-Men comics through our childhood.

My uncle’s family especially understands our FASD journey, because my cousin Tracy, J’s sister, has Down syndrome.

T adores his Uncle J. Our families hang out regularly and do a weekend trip during summers.

So this seemed like a natural fit and we agreed to give it a try.

Hiking on Beausoleil Island with Uncle J in summer 2018 when T was 3.

We were recently approved for government funding that we can use towards recreation (e.g. swim lessons), technology and books.

The funding also supports respite services and respite provided by family members is eligible.

The stars were aligned.

T’s first time trying to fish at age 2 with the hubby. His Uncle J took us on a boat out on Oastler Lake.

In special needs parenting, it’s important to try things out

The big visit took place at lunch today and T was excited, having counted down for two weeks.

J brought delicious chicken cutlet sandwiches for the hubby, him and I – while our selective eater made himself Eggo waffles.

Then T showed J where the cats hung out then they played Nintendo; I reminisced about the many hours J and I spent playing Nintendo as kids.

The hubby and I originally planned to duck out to do Christmas shopping, but I felt tired after recent events and spent quiet time upstairs by myself.

After an hour, we gathered to enjoy a delicious apple pie J’s partner had baked.

And just like that, 2.5 hours flew by and J headed off. But not before getting big hugs from T.

Who knows how long this will keep up. Instead of trying to plan every step ahead, like I often do, I’ll let this play out one step at a time.

Our families are seeing each other in three weeks and we invited J over during Christmas break to spend time again with T.

I emailed an update to T’s CYW. I know she will be pleased.

I had seen her earlier in the week at drop off and she told me T always complains that other kids have siblings while he only has cats. 🤣

I guess Big Brother will have to do, cuz the ship has sailed loooong ago on a sibling for T – along with what’s left of my youth.

Our first weekend trip with T and my uncle’s family to Oastler Lake. T curiously played with a fish that his Uncle J (leg pictured on the right) caught that morning. He was only 1 in this pic – how time flies.

32 thoughts on “Big Brother”

  3. It’s funny how T complained about him not having siblings, only cats. As the only child, when I grew up I never envied my friends who have brothers and sisters, especially after hearing stories about how they often fought with each other. But my adult self sometimes wonders how things would have turned out had I had siblings.

    It’s really sweet how your cousin J offered to hang out with T. It sounds like it truly was an afternoon well spent, over good food of course!

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    1. You would’ve made a good older brother, Bama! But there’s also something about being an only child that makes you fiercely independent too.

      It was a good afternoon and look forward to more in the future. 😊

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      1. Aww. Well, I think I am a good uncle. When my nephew was 5 years old, he played Transformers with me until I got really tired and pretended to fall asleep. As soon as I opened my eyes, he started talking to me again. 😆

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      2. Being an uncle is the best. You get to return the kid after you play with them. 😆 Kids are amazing in how they figure out your tricks fairly quickly!

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  4. It was very sweet of your cousin J to offer to hang out with T one-on-one. I haven’t played Nintendo in ages. I still have our original Super Nintendo from when we were growing up though. That apple pie looks amaaazing by the way. Best of luck preparing for the holidays. It’s hard to believe that it’s almost December.

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    1. Thanks Linda. Super Nintendo is great. I remember when it first came out and being blown away by the games. I asked Santa for the new Super Mario Wonder game for the Nintendo Switch this year. We shall see if he comes through. 😆

      I’m looking very forward to the holidays and I bet you are too. Home stretch. Almost there!!!

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    1. Thanks Diane. We are pretty blessed. 🙏 A weekend trip would be nice but I’m not gonna push my luck just yet. And oddly enough, I wouldn’t want to experience a trip without T.

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  7. Fishing at 2 years old and T already looks like a true professional, lovely – and that fish he played with is almost as big as he is lol 😊 more beautiful memories here 💛

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    1. Thanks Cherryl. 😊 We don’t fish much, only when we go on our summer trip, once a year, with J and his family. It is fun though and when we catch a fish, it’s a celebration!

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  9. I love every morsel of this post…respite care and finding folks to surround T with love is everything. And it can be a massive challenge. Hugs to all…and just as you said: one step at a time – celebrating victories whenever you can. Thanks for including us in the journey, Ab. xo! 🥰

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  12. I love that T has a new bud to hang with and that there is some financial assistance happening as well. Keep up these great get togethers for T and I see some date nights for you and hubby in the future 🙂

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    1. Thanks Deb! You bring up a good point about date nights – we sure miss them. 😊 We are very lucky to have good support systems in place including the special funding.

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