We’re spending March Break with T in Cancun and the wait has been so worth it.
The past few months have been very challenging and knowing this family trip to Mexico was in the distance gave us the motivation to hang on.
The hubby and I are part of a support group for caregivers of kids with FASD and a recent guest shared this video by life coach Mel Merritt on self care: Life has shitty moments and one way to get through them is to focus on the good stuff.
I know many will find her advice simplistic and idealistic. Viewing it as an FASD parent, I think that metaphorical jug containing the zest of life is missing cracks and leaks.
Nonetheless, the video resonated, because that’s always been my approach as T’s parents.
We knew at an early age life was going to be ups and downs.
So we do our best to balance life with moments and experiences that bring us joy, whether they are smaller scale, like our daily walks or play time or larger scale treats, like a family trip.
Because life with T is always a balancing act.
When we arrived at the resort, T was tired and disregulated, bouncing a water bottle on the ground repeatedly during check in.
After repeatedly telling him to stop, I took the water bottle from him, which led to an outburst.
“You are so stupid!” He yelled very loudly, startling parents nearby who all turned to look at us. T kept going. “You suck! And you ruined my day!”
I tried to apply the co-regulation skills I learned from the SNAP program.
Counting backwards from 1,000 – they suggest 10 – I repeatedly told myself that going to prison for 30 years was not worth the 30 seconds of satisfaction I’d get from strangling him.
But like all explosive moments with our child, they pass – and I was not going to let this shitty moment muck up our trip.
And it’s been a blissful two days so far.
The amenities at the resort are amazing, including a waterpark for kids, which T has loved playing at.
I got in a nice hour at the gym by myself on Saturday night followed by a nice family meal at a Japanese restaurant. This tapioca dessert, with crème brûlée cracklings, was so good.
T and I spent this afternoon at the indoor trampoline – where he played very nicely with two boys for over two hours.
It was so heartwarming to see him have a great time – being a kid, free of the challenges from the last few weeks and months.
As he bounced high up into the air, I couldn’t help but think T was soaring up into the clouds in his imagination, as he often does.
I allowed myself to truly savour the moment, guilt free – because we all deserve to rise above the clouds from time to time.
Above the clouds, the sun is always shining.