Birds of a Feather

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, gardening, growth mindset, nature, Parenting, ResiliencyTags:, , , , ,

Humans, like other animals, naturally seek and thrive through social connection.

A flock of birds, a school of fish, a pack of wolves, and so on – we’re created to be social beings born into a family and socialized into communities.

I reflected on this during a brisk, late afternoon, bike ride with T to feed ducks in a pond.

Earlier in the day, we walked down to the pond next to the recreation centre, after his soccer practice. T enjoyed watching the ducks and they were not shy about approaching him.

I suggested to T that we could come back later on our bikes and feed them bread; I had saved up a stash of end pieces, because I’m the only one who eats them and I rarely eat bread! 😆

It was so nice to explore new trails in our neighbourhood. T was super engaged.

He couldn’t resist stopping by an off leash dog park and was not shy about approaching families to ask if he could pet their dog.

It made me happy to see the family enjoying their afternoon together and to welcome T into their circle for a few moments.

We biked past other families enjoying an afternoon walk and I smiled thinking that this is what spending our limited free time is all about.

The past few weeks have been a challenging one for our family, as we navigated the stress of the unexpected situation at school (I have a positive update on that soon).

Quality family time suffered, because of the stress and exhaustion. Thankfully, as I always believe, rushing river leads to calm water.

The golden hour sun cast a peaceful glow on our visit and I loved watching T break bread and throw the pieces with abandon at ducks and geese.

We then went to the other side of the pond to share the love with the other ducks and geese.

The spontaneous outing cleared my head and I know it calmed and regulated T too.

As I watched the ducks and geese, living their simple lives, with connection and contentment, I wondered how life got so hectic that these moments of connection with T were parked aside.

This was a needed reset.

Before we got back on our bikes to head home, I gave T a hug, who reciprocated with a tight squeeze, and I thanked him for a fun outing.

When we got home, he took a bath, while I made his favourite Hong Kong tomato beef stew for supper.

Update: A kind reader, Pete, shared in the comments that feeding birds bread is actually bad for them and can lead to a deformity called angel wing. I’m glad to have learned this and I’ve also shared this with T. We will look for alternatives next time T wants to visit and feed the ducks.

50 thoughts on “Birds of a Feather”

  1. What a sweet happy time. I’m so glad you were able to get this. Yes, nature, sunlight, and water seem so restorative. I wonder why scientifically that is, but I like it! And this line of yours: “rushing river leads to calm water.” Love that!

    Also, good to know about ducks and bread! So incredible that a goose came right up to T like that!

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  3. I hope your stress is less since feeding the ducks and petting the dog. I’m glad someone told you about the bread. When my kids were little we went to a feed store and bought a bag of field corn. They had one of those silly feed stands that charge for a small turn of the handle, it was much more fun having a bag full. You definitely taught T the right way with asking to pet the dog before doing it. I had a friend that was bit in the face and she lives with a scar. I like the seagull in flight with the ducks and T in the picture.

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    1. Thanks Diane. The stress in special needs caregiving ebbs and flows but it was definitely quite heightened during the last while. Hopefully things calm down as we enter the holidays and get some time off from school and work! 🙏

      We’re gonna check out the bulk store for seeds and other more appropriate things to feed the ducks next time T is inspired to do so.

      And yes, we’re very careful with dogs. You just never know!

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  5. I love your observation, ” Thankfully, as I always believe, rushing river leads to calm water.” That’s so good. Glad you are almost to a positive outcome on that situation. Love these beautiful pictures that share your reset. So incredible to see kids connect with animals! And how interesting about the bread. Hope you have a great Thursday, Ab! So grateful for you!

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    1. Thanks Wynne! You also know, understand, role model and appreciate the importance of the reset with your children – and how nature and animals can be so healing and helpful with those goals! 😊💕 Hope you’re all having a great Thanksgiving!

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  6. It’s really cute how T asks people if he can pet their dog. Sorry to hear that the past few weeks have been challenging. Hopefully stress levels come down, especially since we’re approaching the holidays. Sounds like spending time in nature with the ducks was beneficial for everyone.

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    1. Thanks Linda. He loves his dogs and asked Santa for one this year – it’s a nope! 🤣 I sure hope the stress levels do go down for the holidays! 💕🙏

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  8. I love that you and T got to experience these blissful moments despite the stress from school and life. It’s really heartwarming to read about how T was accepted into the family owners of that dog, albeit temporarily. Things like this might seem simple, but they often make us smile the most and think that all is good. I hope you and T will have more moments like this together.

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    1. Thanks Bama. It is the simple things that bring me the most joy these days. And that melt the heart. 😊 And I find so much of that simple goodness comes from getting out there with the community. A good reminder for me to get out of my bubble more! 🙏

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  12. I love the phrase “rushing river leads to calm water”. That’s so powerful! Also, I’m so glad there was a positive outcome to the school situation.

    So, I have something funny to share. We have a huge population of Canadian geese in Phoenix and they are really mean, chasing and nipping at passersby without instigation, so Dr. Zeus and I always jokes that the stereotypical “nice Canadians” channeled all of their hate into the geese and then sent them away. 🤣 We’ve always theorized the geese that remain in Canada are probably nice… and seeing T feeding them from his hand (and you allowing that) tells me that the geese in Canada are, in fact, true Canadians–kind, tame, and predictable. 🤣🤣

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    1. Thanks Erin. I love that phrase too and it’s a powerful mantra to refer to when times get turbulent.

      Oh yes, Canadian geese are hostile and aggressive assholes. It’s not just the one down south. Over here too! 🤣 I’m surprised they didn’t nip any skin off T. He really is an animal whisperer!

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      1. I love, love, love hearing that T has a way with animals. My brother, sister, and I were all the same… it’s such a special thing to have both wild and tame animals trust you. I think they can recognize a kind, pure heart. 💖

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    1. Thanks Michelle. Yes, simplicity is beautiful. Those ducks, so many of them, made me smile. And thanks for the tip about the oats. Well do a visit to Bulk Barn next time now that I’m better informed!

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  15. Golden hours, rushing rivers and calm waters. So much to love in this essay, Ab. This, too:
    “It made me happy to see the family enjoying their afternoon together and to welcome T into their circle for a few moments.” Oooh. I felt every bit of that. Watching from a distance as our littles…who quickly become mini-adults…find their way, know how to approach new people, new animals, with confidence. Those moments of standing back and watching. Parenting joy.
    But…I’m sorry to hear there’s been stress recently. Sending all my love…hoping for calmer waters on that front for all of you. xo! ❤️😊❤️

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    1. Thanks Vicki. I know you’d get it! 😊 You touched on something I noticed yesterday too. I can stand and watch from a further distance now and not feel the need to be right next to him as he navigates these situations. A sure sign of our T growing up slowly day by day. 🙏

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  17. I know from my own experiences as a boy that some of my most treasured moments were with my dad. Putting our kids first makes us and them feel good inside.

    Incidentally, I included a scene about a character feeding some birds bread, and my editor mentioned something called angel wing, which I was unfamiliar with. Here is how AI describes angel wing:

    Feeding bread to birds can cause a condition called angel wing, a deformity where the wing joint grows improperly, preventing the bird from flying. This condition, most common in waterfowl, can also lead to malnutrition, obesity, and an inability to escape predators or migrate.

    Just passing this on because I didn’t know about it until last year.

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    1. Thanks Pete for the heads up about angel wing. I did not know that! Will definitely find alternative to give them next time T wants to visit them and will also pass on this tip to him.

      The memories we have with our kids are the best and I agree with you about it signaling to our kids that we care enough to make time for them. 😊

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  18. Sometimes it’s just the simplest things that make a difficult time better. Even that one lone seagull was ready to join in for a chance at connecting with some of that bread 🙂

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  19. I enjoyed all the photos, Ab. Surely, it was one of the best recharge time of your day. Spending with animals and some chitchat with people along the way is a lovely reset. I so love biking too, and your neighborhood there is stunning. Have a blessed week ahead!

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  20. It is so nice to see T out and about and socializing with people, dogs, ducks, and geese. When Molly was a young puppy I would take her to the dog park down the street to play with other dogs while I chatted with their humans. The best people in our neighborhood hang out at dog parks. 😊

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