Lazy Weekend

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, Family, FASD, gratitude, grief, love, ParentingTags:, , , , , , ,

I’m on staycaytion the next two weeks and my goal to do nothing got off to a wonderful lazy start.

I stayed in PJs all weekend and binged Abbott Elementary – hilarious and highly recommended.

I told T he’s going to daycare during the break and he better not screw me over by getting sick again.

He had a weekend free of his tablet, the primary source of his disregulation, cuz I wanted respite from a screaming child.

He had to like, you know, use his imagination or whatever 9-year-olds do when they don’t have Internet.

I emerged from my cave during the last hour of daylight to visit loved ones who had an even quieter day: Pa, Ma and my sister.

I tried to guilt T to come with me by speaking in Ma’s Filipino accent – “T, Ama misses you.” – but it was -17 out and he wanted to stay in the warmth.

It didn’t stop him, however, from coming out dressed only in shorts to shoosh me away with his hands while I waited in the driveway, hoping he’d change his mind.

“Love you!” he screamed and waved as I drove off.

I’m approaching Christmas with mixed feelings.

Christmas 2022, Ma came over for hotpot lunch. My sister, who had Stage 4 cancer, was in a lot of pain so we took her to Emergency. She never came home and I spent New Year’s Eve planning her funeral.

A few minutes into Christmas 2023, the hubby booked me a last minute flight to Manila after I FaceTimed with Ma, in the hospital, and my gut told me I had to see her.

I spent New Years 2024 signing forms to admit her to ICU, which she never left.

I want this Christmas to be super boring.

A cemetery is a reliably uneventful place and I appreciated the quiet visit with family. I think of them often.

I took the long walk back to the car so I could circle the pond. I thought the other lonely residents would appreciate a visitor too.

I noticed a tree wrapped in Christmas lights and I thought of Pa, who loved Christmas.

Then I heard an old man chanting in Mandarin. I looked all around me, thinking I’ve lost my damn freaking mind, then saw the small sound-emitting Buddha figurine on a gravesite, half covered in snow.

Then I bought a turkey for the hubby to make on Christmas so I don’t have to cook for a week. 🤭

Laughter is the best medicine. Binged through the first two seasons this weekend. Two more to go!

47 thoughts on “Lazy Weekend”

  4. Just ordered the first season of Abbott Elementary from the library. Thanks for the rec! I’m excited to give a new show a try. Have you seen St. Denis Medical? That’s our latest discovery. So far so good.

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  5. Oh man. If ever a lazy Christmas was warranted… Yeah, you deserved it. Ooof. Love the part about getting the turkey so you wouldn’t have to cook for a week. Smart man. Wishing you a peaceful, happy, quiet, new year!

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    1. I’m glad there’s another fan! I finished the first 3.5 seasons in 5 days. And love it. Such a quirky and fun cast of characters. Now have to wait for new episodes like everyone else! 😂 Which episode are you at now?

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  9. I was right there with you, Ab, while reading this blog post. I always appreciate how you honor your feelings and your grief. This line is beautiful: “I emerged from my cave during the last hour of daylight to visit loved ones who had an even quieter day: Pa, Ma and my sister.” I love that you wove them into your space. Lovely and poignant. I also understand Christmas and mixed feelings. That’s how it’s been for me to. Cheers, Ab, to it all. 🎄🎄

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    1. Thanks Stacy. It’s been a surreal holidays but it’s been more fun and joy than grief. Did a lot of relaxing and TV. And sleeping and napping. 😊 I hope you were able to enjoy a nice Christmas too. 🙏

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  10. Sorry to hear that this time of the year is associated with so much sadness and loss. Here’s hoping for an uneventful and boring Christmas. I’m hoping for something similar as there’s always so much drama with our families. The goal is to fly under the radar and not get sucked in.

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    1. Thanks Serena. It’s been nice and lazy. Lots of daytime naps! Heading to family dinner in a short bit. Hope you have a Merry Christmas!

      The stuff on the ceiling was slime. The joys of being a teacher!

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  12. Warm hugs for you and your little family, Ab! Losing loved ones is never easy, especially around this time of the year. A boring Christmas actually doesn’t sound so bad, especially after what you had to go through the past few years. I wish you a calm and peaceful Christmas filled with joy, happiness, and good health.

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  16. I love that you are getting two weeks to fill up your tank. Wow, the last Christmases have been hard. The quiet walk through the cemetery sounds so meaningful. Here’s to a really boring Christmas for you all! No getting sick T… 🙂

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  17. hugs to you and your family, ab. that is so very hard to lose someone you love, and they are so missed during these special times of year and celebrations. you have written this beautifully and I know your loved ones who have passed are still with you, in heart and soul. my sister’s husband passed away on christmas last year, and I so I know this year will be incredibly hard for her. her daughter and family will be hosting her for christmas and the children always make her smile.

    p.s. I love abbott elementary, and my grandson said I am most like Janine, and I took it as a compliment .)

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    1. Thanks so much, Beth. I’m very sorry about your sister’s husband. What a sad way to remember Christmas by each year. I am glad that she is with her family this year.

      Wishing you a Merry Christmas with your family. Always happy to meet an Abbott Elementary fan. I am now halfway through Season 3. Such a great show. I have a soft spot for Ava Coleman. The actress is a riot.

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      2. Yes they are. Such a great cast and love how they grow and evolve. And the supporting cast that show up periodically are great too. I’m fully caught up now and have to patiently wait for new episodes!

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  19. Ab, I continue to keep you in my prayers especially during this time of year realizing your grief for your loved ones. Admittedly, I never know what to say when it comes to the loss of a loved one and I’ve had several friends and my grandson who also lost a parent this year. So, I’m sending you the tightest, longest empathetic hug ever, just as I do to them.

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    1. Thanks so much, Tammy. It’s a tougher one this year but so much to be grateful for still and that’s what I’m focusing on. Your words are so appreciated and something tells me they are too by your friends and grandson. Wishing you a Merry Christmas!

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  20. Oh, Ab, what an incredibly poignant, emotional post. Losing loved ones is always so hard, and not something we adjust to quickly. Grief has a way of creeping back up on us. It’s a shame that Christmas is always going to have that reminder of losing those dear people.

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