Hide and Seek

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, Parenting, wellbeingTags:, , , , , , , ,

We’re wired for connection and time with people can be healing and open our minds.

I was delighted to be invited back to The Heart of the Matter podcast to speak with Wynne Leon and Vicki Atkinson about finding community.

Connecting with Wynne and Vicki is always a joy. Our chat reminded me about recent talks I attended by the CEO of a social connection movement about the importance of community connections in combatting the loneliness epidemic.

I’m blessed with amazing family, friends and colleagues, so I don’t consider myself lonely.

But parenting a child with FASD can feel isolating at times and the antidote to isolation is human connection.

I am thankful for the amazing community in our city and online, because I am reminded the hubby, T and I are not on this journey alone.

Connecting with others helps us do our part to spread kindness in an increasingly polarized and uncivil world.

As I shared with Wynne and Vicki, I recently deputed at a town hall hosted by our school board’s Special Education Advisory Committee.

I was called to speak first and after I did my part, I stayed and listened to other parents depute and advocate for their children and communities.

We were strangers to each other, but we stayed till the very last parent deputed an hour and a half later, to support each other and to show the board we were united.

The aforementioned social connection CEO shared this thought provoking “Worlds Apart” ad by Heinekin with my colleagues and I.

This ad reminds why I do my part to raise awareness about FASD, because it is only through connection that minds and hearts can be opened.

Perhaps the most important connection to nurture in my life is with T.

I’m making a big effort this fall to widen T’s community connections and I’ll share amusing stories over the next few posts.

The past while has not been without challenges and there are moments when I wanted to retreat within myself – and I am grateful for the moments the hubby shouldered the load, because I can see the wear and tear of the challenges on him.

But hard times always pass and we get through them by connecting with others.

One of our dearest friends came over recently for a movie night and it’s been ages since we enjoyed junk food and a cheesy movie together.

Spicy Garlic Doritos are the best!

Today was our first Sunday without soccer lessons, which are done until the new year.

So I took it easy this morning. As I sipped my coffee and cleared out my work inbox, T crawled across our dining table and placed his chin on the top of my laptop.

Someone wanted my attention. 😂

So I called work a day and we spent a chunk of time playing hide and seek.

He’s getting good at finding hiding spots!

Then T and I went for our Sunday grocery run.

“Do I have to go with you?” he asked me.

“You don’t have to, but it would be nice if you joined me. I always enjoy and appreciate your company,” I said.

Then he smiled and put on his coat.

We have a ritual where T likes to stand at the front of the cart while I push him. He imagines we’re on a train and narrates our journey from one station to another as we gather our items.

It’s silly fun that brings out the warm fuzzies that hide in the shelter of the heart.

39 thoughts on “Hide and Seek”

    1. Your last line is brilliant and poignant. Well done.
    2. T sounds like a cat, crawling across the table like that and wanting your attention. So cute. I’m glad you were able to fully engage. No doubt that meant a ton to him.
    3. So glad you have an FASD community. That would be extremely difficult to do alone.
    4. Already listened to your podcast. It was great! 🙂

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    1. Thanks Betsy! Yes, he does pretend he’s a cat from time to time. 😊 And thanks for your kind words about the podcast. You should do one with your Jiu Jitsu peers. I can only imagine how much fun you all will be!

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  2. Ab, between your podcast, Heinekin ad, not to mention, your blog post, I just have the warm fuzzies all over and it’s a cold day here today in New England! Just Fab! I can’t imagine someone NOT connecting with you. You make your mom and sister and fam SO proud!

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    1. Thank you, LaDonna! You should consider extending into podcasting too. Your writing is very engaging and accessible and I bet it would translate well into the audio medium!

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  6. I really enjoyed listening to this podcast and discussion of community. Glad to hear you were brought back by popular demand!! What a great quote about people coming into your life for a reason, season or lifetime. I had no idea loneliness was associated with a higher risk of things like dementia and has a similar mortality impact of smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.

    That’s quite the selection of chips for your movie night! And awwww, that’s hilarious and adorable about how T joins you for grocery shopping and likes to narrate while you move down the aisles. Loved the video!! Cat food station! This just made my day!

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    1. Thanks Linda! I wouldn’t go as far as popular demand 😂 but it was nonetheless very fun to hang out and chat with Wynne and Vicki. The organization I referred to is called Genwell, you may have heard of them perhaps in local circles? They’ve done ads on tv and transit around GTA.

      You and K should consider extending your blog into podcasting. So many fun adventures you can tell in a new media!

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  7. Excellent video Ab! You amaze me with all your wisdom and positivity. You are a very good speaker and made me think about getting into the community more. When I had my developmentally disabled clients, that was what I did all the time, took them into the community. Now, living with chronic pain I stay home all the time except for family things. Maybe forcing myself to get out more would help me feel better mentally at least. I’m glad you shared the podcast!

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    1. Thanks Diane! When I see your great posts and also cooking reels on Instagram, I always thought you would do well extending your blog into short social media reels. It would do so well!

      I don’t have a lot of free time but getting out there into the community is so important for T’s benefit, for the larger community and also, to be honest, my own wellbeing. Connection is a great antidote to isolation.

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      1. When I retired I was hoping to do something like a YouTube channel for cooking. My medical issues don’t allow that, however, I am trying a new doctor tomorrow with hopes of feeling better. 🤞🏻Also, I have no idea how to do a short media reel! 🤣

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  8. Oh, you have the best last line, Ab. The warm fuzzies that hide in our hearts. So good! What a great video. And I’m amazed that you have an empty cupboard to hide in.

    But I love your point, “only through connection that minds and hearts can be opened.” So true in my experience. Vicki and I are so grateful to be connected to you and for your willingness to come on and share your stories and thoughts. It really makes a difference!

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    1. Thanks Wynne. You know I love my analogies and I went with hide and seek this post. 😆 We have a nice basement crawl space where we shove most of our things into and thankfully we don’t fill empty cupboards to the brim.

      It was so fun being on HOTM with you and Vicki and connection really is what’s going to make the world a better place, one conversation at a time!

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  9. I love this post. I didn’t have time to listen to the podcast yet, but I did watch the commercial—it was beautiful!!! I also watched T narrating—a future sports announcer? Thank you for sharing – I am glad that we have connected through parenting and writing – V

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    1. Thanks Vickie. I’m toying with the idea of getting T involved in social media as a way to build his communication and advocacy skills but we’ll see. 😆 I’m glad we connected to. I think it must be at least 3 years now. Time just flies!

      I hear you did a podcast episode with HOTM recently too and I can’t wait to listen in!

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      1. it was really fun interviewing with Vicki and Wynne.
        I can only imagine what social media is gonna be like when T and my grandchildren are adults !!!!

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  10. Enjoyed the podcast Ab. I’m huge, as you may know on cultivating community. I love that one of the ladies ( forget which is Wynne & which is Vicki😁) mention something along the lines of not forcing it. I’ve always felt firmly that we cross paths with people for a reason & some are only meant for a moment, a season or a lifelong friendship. I’m so very thankful to have you as part of my community.

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    1. Thanks Tammy! I know you can relate when I say that we all have a VOICE and to use it to help make our part of the world more open. And yes, the conversation has to be genuine and you can’t force it. I really love that quote too about crossing paths with people. Every interaction, short or long lasting all impact us in different but important ways. Glad we’re all part of a larger community together. 😊

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  11. Ab, this is such a heartwarming blog post in so many ways. After watching that Heineken social experiment, I was reminded with what I thought about after a particularly polarizing presidential election in Indonesia in 2019. The hatred between the two camps was so palpable it felt suffocating actually. But then, I looked at the people I dealt with in my daily life. The nasi uduk vendor who would come to my place to deliver my usual Sunday breakfast, for example. He might be voting for A, and I would vote for B. And I thought about the people who contributed to the delicious dish: the rice farmer might support A, the chicken might have come from a farmland owned by someone who supports B, the potato might have come from the fields of someone who would vote for A, and the chili might have been grown in a plot of land that belongs to a B supporter. The truth is, we need each other, and there are usually more things that we have in common than what separate us. Thank you for writing this, and seeing T “hiding” brings smile to my face.

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    1. Thanks Bama! You mean to say there are other polarizing elections beyond Trump? 😆 Jokes aside, you make a very good point. Food is a universal unifying force and it does bring people together. I thought about that too when I saw the Heineken ad, even though it’s pretty obvious it was trying to up its own brand power. I think as a society, especially fueled by social media echo chambers, we are forgetting how to be civil with each other and to live peacefully with our differences. Politics is a great example of how toxic difference of opinions have become!

      As an aside, I am craving Indonesian food now. Might grab some this weekend! 😋

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  12. Oh my…big smiles here. I love your invitational manner with T about doing the grocery shopping. You two clearly have the best time doing so! Narration on the grocery train! So much fun. 🥰🥰🥰
    Thank you again for sharing yourself with us, podcast style, Ab. You inspire me! 🥰🥰🥰

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      1. Thanks Jane. I am very fortunate to live in a city like Toronto where community supports and resources are more prevalent and so I feel the responsibility to do my part to contribute back in whatever way I can. 🙏

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    2. Thanks Vicki again for having me on the podcast with you and Wynne. I enjoy chatting with you both and I’m also learning so much about podcasting!

      Sunday grocery shopping with T started off as quite stressful as I wondered if he’d get disregulated and cause a scene but it’s become such a joyful part of my weekend routine. And he is truly very helpful and gets us in and out quicker than I would if it was just me!

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