Visits to the Hospital

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, love, ParentingTags:, , ,

Parents want to protect children from hard realities of life but these moments can provide valuable lessons.

T has faced a lot of heartbreak for a 9 year old, including Ma’s death this year and my sister’s death the prior year; the latter lived with us in the last few months of her battle with cancer.

He’s also learning to process his diagnosis of FASD, something we shared in late 2022.

Most recently, my Aunt – my late Ma’s sister – had a fall and had to be hospitalized as it resulted in a small fracture in her spine and she needed emergency surgery or risk paralysis.

We delayed our recent visit to T’s grandparents in the East Coast by a day, so we could visit her and be in town for the surgery.

When we told T, he cried for quite a bit as he thought that she would be the next to die.

We reassured T it was a straightforward procedure with high success rate and that he could see for himself that she is ok.

She was admitted to a hospital in downtown Toronto.

We parked a few blocks away from the hospital and when we got out of the car, T noticed a store sign and shouted, “Vape shop!”

To think there was a time when I worried this child would never learn how to read. 😆

The hospital was located in a grittier part of the city, where there was a homeless shelter and many precariously-housed people in a park along the walk to the hospital.

While I kept a close eye on T, I didn’t feel unsafe. I feel it’s important for T to be aware of all walks of life, especially when he is aware of his birth mother’s life circumstances; and to be respectful and empathetic to all.

T gave my aunt a handmade card he drew.

He’s obsessed with the Titanic and has drawn countless images of the same pivotal moment when the ship splits in two.

A part of me chuckled that this was not the most appropriate image to give to a person who needs surgery for a fracture on her spine.

But as with everything with T, context matters.

The card and the message inside came from his pure and beautiful heart.

He held her hands several times and I know it provided her with comfort as much as it provided him with reassurance she’ll be ok.

We visited my Aunt twice when we got back, most recently on Friday night after work.

She was moved to a rehab centre closer to our home and looked so much better!

She is continuing to wear a neck brace for the next month as she undergoes physiotherapy.

This picture of our cat Kyrie with a cone gives you an idea of my aunt’s current condition!

I’m thankful things are on the mend and this experience was an important lesson for T about resilience and keeping the faith.

29 thoughts on “Visits to the Hospital”

  1. “not the most appropriate image to give to a person who needs surgery for a fracture on her spine.” haha. I’m sure that only made her smile more. What a sweet message inside. Funny about him reading Vape Shop of all things. 😛

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    1. Thanks Diane. T is such a gifted communicator – albeit all the inappropriate language and words too – and I wish he can build on this to build his confidence in himself and in school too.

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    1. Thank you, Gary. Life can be so hard for our young ones but we gotta let them feel both the good and the bad.

      I totally hear you about trying to protect yourself. You’ve been through so much and are on your own with Hawklad. If I was closer to your family, we’d be your annoying protective and overbearing neighbour. 😆

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  4. Ab, your words always resonate with me so deeply. This post, in particular, has really touched a chord. This quote about respecting all walks of life is so powerful and relevant. It’s a message we all need to hear: “I feel it’s important for T to be aware of all walks of life, especially when he is aware of his birth mother’s life circumstances; and to be respectful and empathetic to all.”

    🤍🤍

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    1. Thank you Stacy. 💕 Respecting all walks of life is an important message for kids to learn from an early age and I’m especially mindful of this for T as his mother is homeless and as far as we know still homeless and likely an addict as well. 🙏

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  5. Sorry to hear that your aunt had a bad fall. It’s adorable and very thoughtful that T made a card for her. I couldn’t help but laugh that he drew the Titanic splitting in two and about to sink though. Glad to hear that the emergency surgery went well and that she’s looking much better.

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    1. Thanks Linda. 💕 It has thankfully been ok and she’s on the mend, although still has to wear a neck brace for another month. T’s card, despite the execution, had a lovely sentiment behind it. 😆

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  7. I’m sorry about your aunt and wish her a speedy and full recovery. I know your aunt’s injury is a serious matter but this post made me LOL on several occasions! The VAPE-reading comment, Titanic drawing and surgery and the cat! Great giggle first thing in the morning. Best wishes for your aunt and family-V

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    1. Thanks Vickie. 💕 We gotta find the humour in life to get through the harder moments. 🙏 Hope your and your kids and grandkids enjoy the rest of your summer. It just flew by!

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  8. Every time I read one of your posts about T, I find myself smiling. Wow, this kid has such a big heart and cares so much. Your cat, Kyrie, looks like our Oliver, aka Ollie! Except fortunately, Ollie has never needed the cone … yet. I’m so glad your aunt is doing well, and I hope T is convinced that she will recover. Hugs to you all!!!

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    1. Thanks Jill. He has a very big and caring heart and I know it will help him build bridges when his other less desirable language and behaviour can be off putting to many.

      I have a fondness for gray cats like Kyrie and I bet I’ll be fond of Ollie too! Let’s hope he never needs the cone!

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  9. Another incredibly heartwarming post, in so many ways. My favourite part wasn’t in the heartwarming category; it was when T read out the Vape Shop sign and you remarked, ‘to think there was a time when I wondered if this child would read.’ Love it!

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    1. Thanks Margie. I agree with you that it’s good to expose him to these experiences and to see that in most cases, things will be ok. 🙏

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  13. Okay – I’m still chortling about the cat with a cone as an indication of how your aunt is doing. But how did the cat get the cone?

    And the picture of the Titanic split. Also very funny – I love that you gave us that context.

    I’m sorry your Aunt needed surgery but I love that T got to see that some people do get to come out of the hospital fine. Bless him and his sweet heart!!

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