Down into the Depths

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, adventure, faith, FASD, Mexico, Parenting, Resiliency, travelTags:, , , , , , ,

In your lowest moments, you find yourself again.

We enjoyed a cave exploration excursion during our March Break family trip to Mexico.

Our first activity was to rappel down 7 storeys into a small cave.

T went first. As he was lowered by the guide, down a small hole that quickly opened widely, he said to us with a smirk, “Bye bye, stinky daddies.” 😆

T was such a trooper. Look at him. No fear. 🤗

We were lowered to a shallow wet cave.

Wearing headlights, we looked around and illuminated the beauty of the mineral formations.

We took a short hike out of the cave then enjoyed a bike ride to the next activity.

It was heartwarming to see T zip through the forest with confidence, as it was only last summer that he decided to take off his training wheels.

The guide called him “Rocketman” as he was the leader of our pack.

The second activity was the showstopper, an hour-long hike through a wet cave with a 1km long underground river.

We put on wetsuits and lifejackets.

T had the sweetest excited smile as we entered the caves through wooden stairs.

The caves were pitch dark, only illuminated by our headlights.

The underground river was a treat to explore; in many moments, the water went up to my shoulders. T had to swim for a chunk of the hike.

When we were deep inside the caves, the guide asked us – we were with a family of 6 from Utah and a local couple – to turn off our headlights.

We sat in the dark, water up to our chests, and enjoyed the silence for several minutes.

What an unforgettable experience.

T got cranky near the end of the river tour, as he complained of being cold.

The guide helped turn his frown upside down at the third and last activity.

After changing into dry clothes, we did a short hike through a dry cave (above).

T got his wish and saw a small colony of bats the guide intentionally searched for to cheer him up.

What a sweet moment. 🙏🦇

This experience inspired reflections about how we navigate our lowest moments.

As a parent of a wonderful boy with FASD, I often find myself feeling low – often shortlived.

As someone who lost three significant people in the last year – my sister then a close friend then my mom – I know I’m still navigating grief.

But here’s what I know to be true:

You have to reach the bottom to find your footing.

Shine light into darkness to find life and beauty.

Sit in dark stillness and find restoration.

Life can harden us. But like mineral deposits in a cave, they are a beautiful reminder of growth.

In darkness, keep moving through the caverns and you will find your way back to surface again.

34 thoughts on “Down into the Depths”

  2. What a wonderful time you had🤩.I noticed T is such a brave soul🚶🚴🏊and I do agree with you when you added advice about life especially shining light into darkness to find life and beauty.

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    1. Thanks Gary. As do you and Hawklad and I’m always thinking and sending my best wishes your way that it happens for you both soon too! 🙏

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    1. Thanks Diane! He did amazing and was such a trooper, especially considering he was the first to go down from the three of us. I hope you get to try it out some day too!

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  7. Sounds like such a fun excursion!! It’s amazing how fearless kids can be. I wonder when we start to lose that feeling. And classic T with his one-liner. Beautiful captures of the cave and of your family. We’ve been on a few cave tours before, but never one that involved being in the water.

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    1. Thanks Linda. It was so fun! Something you, K and M can try one day. The water part was quite an experience. I hope he hangs onto that responsible fearlessness as long as possible. It’s sad how many of us lose it as adults (not you though)!

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      1. Oh, I’m afraid of a lot of things! There’s just something about travelling that helps get me out of my comfort zone though. And yes, we’ll for sure have to keep something like this in mind for when M is a bit older. That and going away during March Break! Have a wonderful Easter!!

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  8. Ab, as you can imagine, what you say toward the end of the post resonates with me in profound ways. Navigating grief is certainly not easy. But allowing ourselves to be vulnerable while at the same time being strong for the people we love might help with the journey. I’m still figuring this out myself. Anyway, speaking of what T said, oh boy! He really knows how to get around with words, doesn’t he? 😆

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    1. Thanks Bama. I think about you, and others in the grieving process, when I have a moment with my grief over recent deaths. It’s a process. But I know that we will find our way through these caverns and back into the light. 🙏

      Yes, our T is a boy with a colourful way with words!

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    1. Thanks Margie. You captured it beautifully – he was indeed in his element. And the cave did inspire quite the analogy. I went deep with this post literally! 🤣

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  11. So many highlights to this blog! I love the bravery of T and both of you to go into wet, dark caves! WITH BATS! The photos of T and later you coming down the cave wall are tremendous! The insight of the caves and the comparison to raising a child with FASD is just perfect! Love this beautiful essay!

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    1. Thanks Vickie. The bats were such a highlight and they were surprisingly very tiny in person. What a gift it was to see T experience that in person.

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  12. What an experience! I’ve never gone caving but that sounds like a triathalon – hiking, swimming and biking. Love how you tied this to life. The mineral deposits of life are reminders of growth. So true. As is the beauty when we shine light into darkness. Beautiful, Ab!

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    1. Thanks Wynne. I went the opposite direction as you. You go high, I go low. 😆 But yes, it was such a wonderful time and thankful I got to experience that with T. 😊🙏

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    1. I was feeling the same, Brian. What a line from T — so much fun! And Ab — other than that…such a big smile on my face when I read, I was struck by this:
      “Life can harden us. But like mineral deposits in a cave, they are a beautiful reminder of growth.” Wow. What a post – love the photos, the poetry of it all. Thank you so much. 💕

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      1. Thanks Vicki. The cave excursion was indeed inspiring for so many reasons, among which the poetry of reflections it inspired. 🙏

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  14. Your personal truths are wonderful Ab! I suspect that you and hubby are going to be nominated before too long for the Best Dad’s Ever prize. You two are doing so many amazing things with T, allowing him to experience life in challenging ways but always by his side and always (mostly) having fun while learn about the world, life and himself.

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    1. Thanks Deb. I’m thankful to have the hubby as a partner in this but I can assure you we have days and moments that are the furthest from prize worthy! 😆 But I am so thankful for T in our lives. It’s not always easy but we love him. And are grateful he has a spirit for life.

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  15. I am so heartened to read of your special trip to Mexico. I love seeing how fearless and excited for life T is, and it looks like everyone had an amazing time!

    Then, your statement about needing to hit rock bottom to find our footing hit me like a ton of bricks. Wow, Ab! The cave analogies are so perfect, with the darkness and the beauty that emerges from the “hard” stuff. I have absolutely found the same to be true. Beautifully written, my friend.

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    1. Thanks Erin. I do love finding my analogies and metaphors in my life experiences. 😊

      T was such a trooper and indeed we can find beauty and light and life in the darkness, and I know you can relate to this through your own experiences.

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