Sometimes, a picture sums up life’s depth of emotions better than words ever could.
Yesterday, we had lunch with family to celebrate Ma and my aunt’s birthdays. Ma’s absence was noticeable.
Afterwards, my uncle, recently returned from the Philippines, gave me Ma’s urn.
It was a strange feeling holding it in my hands. The logical part of my brain knew what it was; the emotional side shielded me from the reality.
I placed the urn in our home next to a photo of Pa – where it’ll remain until Ma’s interment, when she will be laid to rest with Pa and next to my sister.
I then unpacked framed photos my uncle brought back that belonged to Ma.
The first photo I unpacked was a lovely illustration of Ma and T, pictured at the top.
It was commissioned by my cousin’s thoughtful wife, from a photo I provided; my favourite photo of Ma and T, taken at a restaurant last June, one of the last times T spent with her.
I love this photo because it so deeply and succinctly captures the loving relationship between Ma and T.
T’s mischievous face pressed right up to his Ama’s – his signature lack of personal space approach to tease someone, his way of saying I like you.
I then remembered all the times when T would tease Ama, following her around and smacking her butt and burping in her face – or walking around with her cane, pretending to be slow and old.
Ma would eventually get annoyed and yell at him to stop but be unable to keep a straight face and hold in her laughter.
I love this photo, because of Ma’s warm smile that radiates genuine unfiltered unconditional love.
It’s astonishing, and a bit offensive to me, the sheer hell T got away with. Ma would’ve beaten me to death for half the things he got away with.
But that’s what makes the bond between grandparents and grandchildren special.
She never fully got what FASD is and it didn’t matter that she didn’t. All she saw was a kid that she loved and she loved him as such.
I had a good cry when this photo caught me by surprise.
Then I showed it to the hubby and T.
I am thankful Ma and T got to enjoy each other for seven years. While we always wish for more time, I am grateful for the time they had together.
We let T decide where to put the photo and he asked for it to be put up in our living room, the place in our home where he spends the majority of his waking hours in – above his favourite toys.
That’s a lovely photo and yes grand children get away with so much from grandparents.
Thanks Faith. We love this photo and he’s very lucky to have such loving grandparents.
And good morning! Just getting up over here for work! 😆
I love the photo and your beautiful words describing the moment. That photo says it all!!!
Thanks Vickie. I love this photo so much. I look at it at least once a day. Very comforting and grounding during these difficult times.
OMG. What an incredible tribute to the love between T and your mom. This illustration shows so much passion, love, and fondness for one another. The feelings are felt so much more through this illustration than any photo could ever show. I have chills looking at this illustration. T must have so many fun memories of her and him. My older son does with my Granny. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Rebecca! 💕 I love this photo for that very reason you noted. It speaks volumes.
For his birthday wish, he said he wished for his Ama to be back and for him and his parents to live forever. Bless my heart.
And I’m glad your older son has many fun memories with your Granny too!
Omg. That illustration is priceless. It captures so much more than a photo. I can feel the love and warmth in bones! My oldest was close to my Granny. When she passed, he was so sad. He was around 5. Had just started kindergarten. He still has her Mets pillow. Lol.
Thank you for sharing this Rebecca. I bet those pillow mean a lot to him. 🙏💕
What a beautiful illustration that perfectly captures a lovely moment between your Ma and T. It’s kind of funny how wildly different a relationship is between a grandmother and grandchild compared to with their own children. It is a special bond.
Thanks Linda. And you will see for yourself, if you haven’t already, with baby M too. 😊 Such a special bond indeed.
PS. Flight, car and accommodations booked for Banff. It’s happening! 🙌 Still have time to figure out the itinerary but so excited. 🙏
That’s exciting!! I’m sure it feels much more real now. Are you staying in Banff the entire time? And will you be going to some of the other nearby national parks like Jasper, Yoho or Kootenay?
We’ll be staying at Banff for our week there. Keep it simple with T. I have no doubt we’ll be back one day to explore the other nearby areas. Yukon is on my wish list for a future summer.
Good call. You can easily make a day trip to some of those parks or even spend the entire time in Banff. There’s no shortage of beautiful vistas and hiking trails!
Grandmas really do let you get away with everything! Lovely memories and a lovely photo!
Thanks Caitlyn. We love this photo so much. 🙏
I don’t think I have ever seen an illustration that shows so much love. You can see the love in both of their faces. T picked out the perfect place to display it Ab.
Thanks Diane. The photo was a candid one taken while we were at a restaurant and T was pestering his Ama. But it conveys so much love and about their relationship. 💕
It definitely shows the love!
Lovely illustration!
Thank you Serena. It really is. I love it. 💕
Awwww … the picture is BEAUTIFUL and reading about the special relationship between T and Ama brought a tear to my eye and a lump to my throat. Treasure the memories always, my friend.
Thank you Jill. This photo and the memories associated with it truly is so special to me.
We treasure these moments and memories ❤️
Thanks Gary. We sure do. 😊🙏💕
What a great tribute AB. Sorry for your loss, but hopefully the memories and the illustration make her feel near.
Thanks Brian. The artwork certainly makes her feel near and evokes so many happy memories. 😊💕
Such a precious painting and memory. Live like today is all you have 💕
Thanks Margie. That is certainly the approach and perspective we’re taking from now on! 😊🙏
Oh my…so much to love here, Ab. Thank you for sharing with us. I feel all the goodness — oozing from the photo of T and your Ma. Continued hugs and much love to all of you. 💕💕💕
Thanks Vicki. I think you nailed why I love the photo so much – the goodness just oozes from it. 😊💕
What a lovely and special piece of art! I’m sure that T will cherish it forever.
Thanks Erin. I know he’ll treasure it forever indeed. 😊🙏
I love the way you provide visuals through out your writing Ab. I can see T following your mom around and I’m glad you mentioned it because as I read, I wondered if she was able to fully understand FASD. My curiosity comes from having talks with my mom who has been unable to fully grasp bi-polar disorder.
Sounds like you have some wonder memories & by the way, my grandkids seem to also get away with more than their parents did, lol.
Thanks Tammy. I can visualize those moments when he’s pestering my mom in my head. And how I miss them. 😊💕
My mom understood that he had a disability and that part she got. I think it was the part that it’s lifelong and something that doesn’t go away that she didn’t quite understand. But again, it doesn’t matter because she loved him regardless.
I don’t know about bipolar disorder in depth but I can see parallels in the journey for others to understand and accept it as it is also very much an invisible disorder that is so complex and nuanced.
I am so blessed with many happy memories. Our time in this life is so finite and short – and we’re all headed to the same final destination, so I’m thankful for the landmarks we’ve created along the way.
And yes, I bet you let your grandkids get away with hell too! 😆
Oh my goodness, that is priceless – as are the memories to go with it. Absolutely beautiful – the illustration and this post! Happy birthday to your Ma and peace to you all! <3 <3 <3
Thanks Wynne. It is indeed so priceless and one of a kind. I love it so much and the memories that are associated with it. 😊🙏
Such a precious and beautiful thing to treasure Ab.
Thank you Deb. It is a treasure indeed. 🙏😊
That is such a beautiful, heartwarming photo, Ab. It’s great that T has good memories of her — although it’s incredible to think of what he had done to her! 😆 I hope that photo will forever remind T the great grandma he had.
Thanks Bama. It is very incredible what he got away it. But it was always from a place of love and affection, even though it could come across as irritation. 😆💕 I think he will always remember his Ama. 🙏