Using Tech to Nighttime Potty Train our Neurodiverse Son

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, fatherhood, growth mindset, Parenting, technology, wellbeingTags:, , , ,

I used to joke that surely our son wouldn’t still be wearing nighttime pullups on his wedding night. Well, this summer, it started to feel less like a joke!

Like other neurodiverse kids, T has sensory-related challenges; one symptom is delayed toilet training.

Now 11, he is ok during the daytime but had frequent accidents till about Grade 3.

Nighttime is a continued challenge. Up until a week ago, he was still wearing nighttime pullups, which are soaked in the morning.

We know it’s normal for boys to wet the bed till age 12. It used to give me anxiety as a child going to sleepovers.

But this summer, we were determined to face this challenge head on.

One motivation was that T is starting middle school – and sometime in the fall, there will be an overnight trip to an indoor camp-style park.

It’s a rite of passage. I have my own warm memories of these multi-night school trips.

T is aware and self conscious. He even once shared, “If people find out I wear a pullup at night, I’m going to die of embarrassment.”

We even brainstormed a plan for him to wake up earlier than his classmates and to hide the pullup in the garbage.

Then we realized the best plan is to face this challenge head on this summer!

Introducing TheraPee!

Photo: From Amazon

Technology is a friend in our home.

T uses our Alexa AI assistant to ask questions and we use apps to support planning and learning. So finding a tech solution to address nighttime toilet training made sense for us.

The hubby purchased this TheraPee device, pictured above.

It’s a non radioactive pad that is placed under the sheets and it’s connected to a device that emits a loud alarm when it detects moisture.

The premise is that it wakes up the child – and yes, the caregiver – at the first sign of moisture. When the child is woken up, they go to the bathroom.

Over time, the tool trains the child to wake up at night to use the bathroom at the moment of need.

Finding the Glimmer in Potty Humour

First off, TheraPee is working well – not perfect, but T is making great progress!

Last Monday night, we said goodbye to pullups forever. He went to bed in his underwear – the first time since he was born without a pullup!

The hubby explained how the system worked, did a few tests of the alarms, and off we went to bed.

About an hour into my deep sleep, the alarm jolted me awake.

My goodness, was it ever loud! 😂 I thought that this must be what a tsunami warning in the middle of the night sounded and felt like.

If a child had not pissed their pants yet, this alarm surely would’ve scared the piss out of them!

T was surprisingly cooperative and got up and went to the washroom.

The alarm sounded a second time in the middle of our first night – but it was a false alarm. T claimed he was just sweaty.

On our first morning, T woke up with a dry bed and underwear.

Huge win!

TheraPee comes with an app where you can track daily progress – a blue star for every dry night. And you know how much we “love” sticker charts! 🤣

We are staying positive and encouraging. We remind T this is a work in progress. We want progress, not perfection.

On mornings T wakes up with a wet spot, we shrug it off and tell him it’s part of the learning and remind him that he’s making great progress.

It never ceases to amuse me the things that are often take for granted that caregivers of neurodiverse kids have to work through.

Our other goal this summer is getting T to tie his laces – so we can move from velcro shoes – another skill that parents take for granted.

We will get there!

This week, we head off for our annual visit to T’s grandparents in New Brunswick. T is especially excited to see his family and his cousin, A.

We’re now halfway through his summer break. We’re taking it every easy – while focusing on these two pragmatic life skills.

T is making steady progress and we’re finding potty humour in the experience.

Photo at top: A recent outing with friends to go stand up paddle boarding at Cherry Beach. Doesn’t all that water just make you wanna go pee? 🤣 T did great!

75 thoughts on “Using Tech to Nighttime Potty Train our Neurodiverse Son”

  1. I recall waking up in a wet bed until I was around 9, then it suddenly stopped. I guess brain and body finally agreed on signals. I’m now 77 but didn’t discover I’m autistic until I was 60. Looking back, the signs were always there, but it was an era where children identified as autistic were usually institutionalised, so perhaps it was for the best that I wasn’t.

    As for tying shoes, I more or less managed it at about 7 years old but they would always come undone within half an hour. As soon as I was permitted to make my own choice in shoes, I changed to slip-on. In that era, velcro had not been invented.

    Like many autistics foot comfort is an issue. I tend to keep my shoes well past their “use by” date. My newest pair were bought in 2017. Personally I prefer bare feet and that’s how you will always find me at home.

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    1. Hi Barry, thank you for sharing you very personal story. I really appreciate it.

      It’s heartening to know how societal response has generally improved towards autistic people – and that institutionalization is generally not the first course of action!

      Slip on was a great ingenious idea! Laces are overrated. 😊 And I agree with the joys of being bare feet!

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  3. Ab, I just saw you’ve been Freshly Pressed. Congrats, my friend!! Well deserved!! 👏🎉

    It’s beautiful that, at just the time you’re stepping back from your real life community obligations to be more present for T during this period of transition, you’ll perhaps engage some new readers who can learn more about parenting a neurodivergent child and hopefully foster greater understanding, empathy, and acceptance. Cheers!!

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    1. Thanks Erin. It was a totally unexpected and lovely surprise to wake up to last Friday! 🥰 I did have the chuckle too at the post that was highlighted. 😂🚽

      I did meet a few new fellow bloggers through the feature and grateful for the connection and profile!

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  4. This is such a beautiful story of patience, encouragement, and progress. I really admire the way you are supporting T without putting pressure on him. Progress, not perfection, is such an important reminder. Wishing T continued success and many more dry nights! ❤️

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  5. This was a good read, the blog talks about the various efforts that the caretakers of neurodivergent children have to put in. The usage of technology, such as the TheraPee alarm to help T become more independent before his big overnight trip in his middle school. Addressing his self-consciousness with empathy shows how supportive your home environment is. I chuckled at the comparison of the TheraPee alarm to “tsunami warning in the middle of the night”- adding humor to these emotional blogs is very important in my opinion. Best of luck for T for the night time training and shoe tying goal this summer.

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  6. This is such a inspiring story. It is looks very good to see how patiently and positively you are supporting through this journey. Every child learns and develops at their own pace, and it’s progress shows that patience, encouragement, and the right support can make a big difference. I especially like the way you focus on progress rather than perfection. Night time training can be difficult and embarrassing for a child, so creating a safe and supportive environment is very important. It is also great that it is gaining confidence along the way. Wishing him continued success with both night time training and learning to tie his shoelaces.

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  7. What a beautiful and honest reflection on parenting, patience, and progress! ❤️ I love how you turned what could have been an embarrassing challenge into a journey filled with encouragement, humour, and positivity. T is clearly making wonderful progress, and it’s so inspiring to see how you’re focusing on effort rather than perfection. The reminder that everyday skills can take longer for neurodiverse children is so important—every milestone deserves to be celebrated, no matter how small it may seem. Wishing T continued success with nighttime independence and those shoelaces! 👏 And honestly, the potty humour made this story even more memorable!

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    1. Thank you Denzil! Humour, even and especially potty humour, certainly helps as families navigate the unique challenges and considerations of caring for a neurodiverse child! 😊

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  8. I really enjoyed reading this! It’s such a warm and honest look at the everyday challenges that neurodiverse families navigate, especially when it comes to skills that many people simply take for granted. I love the positive approach you’re taking with T, focusing on progress rather than perfection and turning an understandably stressful situation into something encouraging and even funny. The TheraPee experience was especially interesting, and it’s great to hear that technology is helping T build confidence and independence. Wishing T continued success with both nighttime training and learning to tie his laces. He’ll get there!

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    1. Thank you Presley! 😊 Technology can be helpful when used in the appropriate ways for neurodiverse kids and their families. It honestly has been a game changer for us!

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  9. really enjoyed reading this story because it shows how patience and understanding can make a difference in a child’s development. The family did not treat T’s challenges as something to be ashamed of. Instead, they found practical ways to support him while keeping the experience positive and even humorous. The use of technology through the Therapee alarm was an interesting part of the story because it helped T become more independent. I also liked how the family celebrated small steps rather than expecting immediate results. The story reminds us that every child develops differently, and progress should be measured by effort, confidence, and personal growth.

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  10. This story shows that every child learns life skills at their own pace. What stood out to me most was the family’s patience, encouragement, and willingness to turn a difficult situation into a learning experience. Instead of creating pressure or embarrassment, they supported T with practical tools, humor, and positivity. The Therapee alarm also shows how technology can be used to support independence. I liked the message that progress matters more than perfection. The story is a reminder that small achievements, like sleeping without pullups or learning to tie shoelaces, can be huge milestones for children and their families. Inspiring!

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  11. Pingback: Good for the Soul: Recalibrating as a Special Needs Caregiver – My Life With T
  13. Pingback: Using Tech to Nighttime Potty Train our Neurodiverse Son – mymuslim37

  16. How wonderful. I can totally relate to this as I have a grandchild with this delayed milestone . Luckily it resolved without an alarm but we would wake her up an hour into her sleep to go pee . Gradually, she learnt bladder control herself and would wake on her own to go to the bathroom at night

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    1. Thanks Hazel. It’s been a wonderful tool and milestone for us. 😊

      And the Freshly Pressed was an unexpected positive surprise to wake up to this morning! 🥰 Congrats to yours as well!

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  20. I cracked up at the alarm making one wet themselves if not already! Yikes! 😛

    I’m so glad you’re working toward a solution and progress is happening. And now that you mention it, I’m not sure my son knows how to tie shoes either. I should probably work on that!

    Best of luck for both tasks, and I hope you all enjoy your time with the extended family!

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    1. Thanks Betsy. That alarm is both ingenious but also hilarious at the PTSD it’s gonna cause all these children in training. 😂

      We’re visiting family and T’s Grandad taught him how to do the laces today! 🙌 We lucked out with that one.

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  21. Great positive pee post ! 😂 Mitch and I survived through humor on our potty adventures with Jess.
    I love your continued philosophy of learning not perfection- we all need to remind ourselves of this…

    Good luck with the laces! That’s also a hard skill! 😵‍💫

    Enjoy your travels and family!!!!
    Vickie ❤️

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    1. Thanks Vickie! Humour is such a powerful tool to get through the challenging moments. 😊 And I can feel yours through your life stories.

      Believe it or not, T’s Grandad taught him how to do the laces today! 🙌 Summer goals all checked!

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  22. Glad to hear that T’s seeing progress with his overnight potty training. The loud alarm sounds super annoying, but I guess that’s the whole point. I couldn’t help but laugh at the name of that device and your comment about how if your child hadn’t pissed their pants at that point, the alarm would have done the trick! Safe travels to NB. We’re heading to the cabin this weekend and then will start making our way to the Gaspe Peninsula.

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    1. Thanks Linda. I’m so thankful this is far behind us now. 😊 And I hope and anticipate M won’t have to wait as long as we did for overnight training!

      Have a wonderful time in Gaspe! I’m looking forward to hearing about your travels.

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      1. If they still make pull-ups in that size, I figure it’s okay.

        We’re currently in Rimouski for the next two days. After some pretty torrential rain (thank goodness was we weren’t tent camping), I’m looking forward to enjoying some sunshine and beautiful scenery!

        Hope you’re enjoying your time in NB!

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      5. I can see why the gardens were a highlight. We had a lovely time there as well. We’re currently in Sainte-Anne-des-Monts and spent the morning hiking in Gaspesie. Tomorrow afternoon we’re heading to Forillon.

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      6. Glad you’re having fun!

        When in Forillon, if you have time, just hang out by the beach and cliffs by the water. You may just spot something unexpected and magical. That’s all I’ll say. 😊

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  23. Oh, Ab….You had me laughing, so hard, with this, about the alarm:
    “I thought that this must be what a tsunami warning in the middle of the night sounded and felt like.”
    I had no idea there was a tech solution…a tool to provide support!
    So happy to hear T is making good progress.
    Much love to all! 💝💝💝

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    1. Thanks Vicki. We do love our good laughs at the expense of our child. 🤣 I’m thankful we haven’t had to hear alarm too much lately and that pull-ups are thankfully and hopefully behind us now for the evenings! 🙏

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  24. Oh my goodness, I’m so amused at the product name. Don’t you love a good pee-pun? I’ve been walking Mr. D to the toilet in the middle of the night for years so I get this but I never thought of using technology as an alternative. Fascinating! Those alarms sound disorienting but you all are amazing for doing whatever it takes. I’m impressed and amused by your joke about scaring the piss out of them.

    I hope you have a great visit to New Brunswick! You all are amazing!

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    1. Thanks Wynne. It’s been such a game changer for us. 😊 The time, money, frustration, sleep saved from getting this out of the way finally. 🙌

      And yes, we do love our puns and the creator of this tool definitely nailed it.

      It’s been a wonderful time so far and I hope the time doesn’t fly by too quickly. 🙏

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  25. Great invention. I’ve never heard of it before. We had this very issue on our annual end-of the-year camping trip. Older kids can be cruel in their teasing. Continued success to T.

    I have to share a funny story about one of my students. He was dyslexic and had trouble with reading and writing. Still, people that don’t know better, mistake this for a lack of intelligence. One day after school, the secretary called and asked me to check his desk. His mom had told the secretary she had sent a check to pay for his school lunches. The boy was known for his messy desk, so I approached it with reluctance, wondering if I’d find it. I lifted the desk top, and an alarm that he had set went off. Talk about almost peeing your pants! I must have jumped three feet into the air. 🤣 He was one of the most intelligent kids I ever taught. He loved mechanical things.

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    1. Thanks Pete. It’s amazing the tech kids and caregivers have access to these days! 😊

      That kid surely made a big impression on you. How smart to rig his desk with an alarm! 🤣 A lot of kids who struggle with dyslexia end up showing the world their intelligence and talent in different ways. And I’m glad you saw that as his teacher!

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  28. What a wonderful thing Ab. I hope the progress continues and he has sleepovers like other kids. Best of luck with tying the lace. Just a note I use slipons from skechers😊! Don’t stress over it. But toilet training is a huge milestone.

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    1. Thanks Ganga. He earned a red star on his app for four consecutive dry nights. 😊🙏 We’re visiting his grandparents now and his Grandad taught him how to tie his laces this morning! 🙌

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  29. Way to go, T! That sounds like such a great product… once you acclimate to the tsunami alarm. 🤣🤣 Hopefully, T will be confident and ready for the special overnight school trip.

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  30. Yay for T! I remember those nighttime incidents with my son and did not know for a long time that it was something boys often deal with. We had our supplies of pull-ups for some time and then his body/brain decided to get on the same page. I was glad, as was he 🙂

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