Choose Your Own Adventure

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, adventure, FASD, Mexico, Parenting, travelTags:, , , ,

We spent March Break in Mexico, explored an adventure park then celebrated my 45th birthday.

For the fourth year, we stayed at the same resort in Cancun. I prefer to try new places, but T loves it there.

In February, the resort made national news for an outbreak that made many travellers sick. Coupled with escalating gang violence, it was an antsy month leading up to our getaway.

We chose informed optimism over worry. The violence was 20 hours away. Norovirus could happen anywhere; and it might’ve been what I needed to lose my last 10 pound goal.

So with barf bags, adult diapers, probiotics and electrolytes packed – in case we got sick – we headed for 8 days of fun in the sun.

We were blessed with a wonderful time together.

We slept in, swam in the lazy river and pool, went down water slides and ate ice cream. T visited the trampoline park and I got alone time at the gym.

T remembered the three feral cats who lived on the resort and spent time with them every day – naming them Oreo, Cookie, Brownie.

T took tuna from the buffet to feed the cats.

The hubby and I enjoyed dinners by ourselves and were able to leave T in the room with his tablet; he ate beforehand.

We also did a full-day excursion at XPlor Adventure Park in Playa Del Carmen.

I wanted to visit Chichen Itza, one of the 7 Wonders of the World, but I knew T would not enjoy it.

I had also booked us for T’s first scuba dive, but it was cancelled the morning of, because of high winds. So we went to XPlor instead.

T had a great time!

The park had many activities and you choose your own adventure.

T tried and braved his first zipline: 5 with me and the last one on his own – into a waterfall!

Ziplined through a waterfall and into a cave.

We then explored an underground river by foot and by raft.

After a delicious Mexican lunch, we drove around on an ATV through woods and caves.

I will remember this trip as the one where I saw many signs of maturity in T.

He looked after his own luggage and himself. Sure, he had outbursts and disregulated moments, but we generally had an amazing time together.

These are wins that seem small to others – but moments of pride and gratitude for us.

On our last morning, while we waited for the airport bus, we took a final view of the resort.

As we stepped off the platform, a younger boy on a motorized wheelchair made his way up the ramp.

T watched him to make sure he was ok.

“I like to keep an eye out for other kids with special needs,” he said in his earnest matter-of-fact way.

I smiled and told him he has a good heart.

Two days after we returned home, we celebrated my 45th birthday.

It was a Monday and my first day back to work. I was assigned an urgent deadline right off the bat, so I was feeling a bit harried that evening.

But I still enjoyed the hubby’s homemade cake – which had an amusing T moment (see below).

During bedtime, my thoughts were on my work. But I took the moment of silence before sleep to give thanks for the time I enjoyed with my family, for another year of life, and for the privilege and blessing to choose my own adventure.

To choose light over darkness, love over hate, hope over fear, laughter over worry, trying over fear of failure, gratitude over regret.

To choose things that nourish my mind, body and soul – especially family and loved ones.

To choose to fully embrace life with T, knowing it’s not always smooth sailing. But the journey is filled with love, laughter, joy and adventure.

46 thoughts on “Choose Your Own Adventure”

    1. Thanks Serena. 😊

      FASD is a lifelong condition. With the right ongoing supports, people like T can achieve success and independence. The key is lifelong supports and the early interventions.

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  3. Happy belated birthday, Ab! Being in our 40s does somewhat feel exciting. I don’t know how to explain it to my colleagues who are still in their 30s though. I’m glad you still went in the end, despite the sudden outbreak of violence in parts of Mexico. It’s an example of the importance of making informed decisions, because there were places in the country that didn’t seem to be affected by it at all. I love how T insisted to your husband to “put an effort” into making the birthday cake! 🤣

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    1. Thanks Bama! 😊 Every decade has its highlights but definitely something freeing about the 40s.

      I gotta say, I was disappointed we didn’t do Chichen Itza, considering it was our 4th trip, but I know T would’ve been bored out of his mind and a handful on the two-hour drive (each way). Maybe one day! 🙏

      The birthday cake ended up being quite delicious and an even better story to remember! 💕

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      1. I think it was probably better for everyone not to visit Chichen Itza. Maybe you need to wait until T is a little older. I remember my appreciation toward Indonesia’s ancient sites only began to grow when I was probably 15 or 16.

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  5. wowza!!! happy birthday and what a wonderful trip! there was so much winning on this trip. I love how you armed yourself with all of the possible sickness armor you might need and went to visit your happy place. it truly was an action adventure trip of the highest order and thinking back on your other trips, you had so many more successes than you had challenges on this one and so much to celebrate!!! < 3 T's kindness came alive and compassion is clearly growing with his maturity and experiences in the world.

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    1. Thanks Beth. 😊 I say this half jokingly but I was disappointed we didn’t get to try to adult diapers. They looked quite… armour-like, like you said! 🤣

      We take the wins where we can. It’s so important to look at the big picture instead of getting stuck in the weeds of the moments. 🙏

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      1. True and there’s always another opportunity for things – . Remember when that astronaut drove cross country in the adult diapers so she didn’t have to stop and was headed to try to harm her astronaut boyfriend who she was jealous of? Or something close to that? My true crime thing kicking in again. It’s a really crazy story but true. All I’m saying is if you ever have to do a cross country road trip without stopping put those adult diapers on and you won’t have to stop –

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  6. Oh, Ab. You did it again. Got me crying over my keyboard. The combo of T’s heartfelt demeanor…looking out for other kids with special needs in his trademark, matter of fact style. I’m all weepy…in the best way.
    So much to love in this post…but I’ve gotta say, you’ve got the most brilliant phrase tucked in here:
    “We chose informed optimism over worry.”
    Absolutely brilliant…and I’m borrowing it….deploying it…so good!
    Sending big Monday morning hugs to all. 💝💝💝

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    1. You and I have a mutual smile, cry and admiration society setup, Vicki. 😊 I know you can relate, when you contextualize it within your own experiences as a sister and caregiver.

      I like that you and Brian both picked up on the “informed optimism” comment. I wasn’t quite sure how to phrase it but you got it! 🙏

      Look forward to the next sliver of your book reveal!

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    1. Thanks Brian! 😊 It was a lot of fretting, mainly on my end. The hubby was ready to projectile vomit for the sake of a resort getaway. 🤣 I’m glad indeed we chose informed optimism in the end. 🙏

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  9. Happy birthday, Ab! 🎂🎉 I’m so glad you had such a fun and memorable vacation!
    For a moment, I thought that alligator was real and that T and the kitty were bonding in harm’s way. Too funny!
    T really has such a big heart. It’s wonderful to see how caring and mature he’s becoming.

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    1. Thanks Erin! 😊 Yes, the alligator throws people, including myself, off.

      I was so glad the cats were still there and in good health. I suspect they get lots of love and nourishment from visitors, not just T.

      He does have a big heart and these moments remind me that life will be ok in the big picture! 🥰

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    1. Thanks Margie! 😊 It was a nice getaway.

      The wheelchair child moment truly touched my heart because it was spontaneous and it is during those moments when I get a true glimpse into T’s core.

      He’s like this with my cousin with Down syndrome too – who’s older than me but shorter than T. His care makes up for some of his more blunt comments like, “Is she a dwarf?” 😂

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  11. Happy 45! Honestly I can’t even remember turning 45, that was like half a life ago but with all that “love” I’m sure you’ll keep the day close in your heart Ab. Your family takes the best vacations. I’d love to sneak into one of your suitcases amongst the diapers and electrolytes and join you guys, although I would choose an adventure closer to the ground I think 🙂

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    1. Thanks Deb! 😊 The years sure do fly by. I felt like 40 just happened! I think 50 is gonna smack me out of nowhere.

      As I always tell friends and family, you’re always welcome to sneak into the suitcase, so long as you chip in with the childcare. That might make you think twice though. 😂

      We’re already counting down to the next March Break!

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    1. Thanks Pete! 😊 T did wonderful. There were six consecutive zip lines. He got nervous and anxious about the loud clanging sound at the end – the device that buffers and slows down the fall – but he mustered up the courage to finish it (not that he had any choice 🤣). Moments like this make me proud!

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    1. Thanks Hazel! As I respectfully tease my friends, it’s time to get your eyeglasses updated. 🤣

      The vacation was amazing and most of all, regardless of activity, it was quality time spent with my family. 🥰

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