The windswept pine tree on sunset rocks at Killbear Provincial Park is beloved by visitors.
Over 100 years old, standing on rocks over 2 billion years old, it has witnessed many untold moments.
I’m thankful that we are a part of each others’ passage in time, from the hubby and my first visit before T was born to T’s first visit at age 1 to our recent visit at age 10.
During one of the long meandering drives in our recent roadtrip, T asked what 10 years are called. I said, “A decade.”
10 decades? “A century.”
10 centuries? “A millennium.”
10 millennia? “Ask Google.”
Life unfolds like that, doesn’t it? Slow at first, like a single snowflake. Then it amasses into a snowball. Then the snowball is barrelling down a hill, accumulating size and speed.
Hours become days, days become weeks, months and years. Years and decades blend into each other.
During one of our of recent hikes in beautiful Lake Superior – photos soon – I thought with sober clarity that, at 44, I have statistically experienced more than half the summers that I will in my life.
As a child, summers felt like forever – I hope this is how it feels for T – but this summer is flying by.
At some point, hopefully not too soon, I won’t be able to enjoy rigorous hikes.
I’m not being morbid. I am simply being present to what I want to prioritize in life and the things I don’t want to waste valuable time on.
This shifting mindset is one of the gifts that this decade in my life continues to bring me.
Killbear holds a special place in my heart and for my family.
That was why we ended our week-long Northern Ontario roadtrip with a stop at Killbear, en route from Sault Ste Marie back home.
Killbear’s beloved windswept pine is now sadly in decline; even T is sad when he speaks about it.
But aren’t we all in eventual decline?
The trick is to fill our hours with joy, connection and adventure.
That’s what brings meaning to life – and why a single tree from among hundreds has captured the imagination of generations.
It’s tradition for us to take a photo of T with the tree during each visit. I hope to print, frame and put these up in our home when I have time (ha!).
This was our first visit and first camping trip with T, in 2016 at age 1, a few weeks after we adopted him. He was still getting used to walking.
This was a year later, in 2017 at age 2. How I miss the short pudgy toddler years.
Returning to Killbear during the 2020 pandemic summer at age 5.
At age 8, this was the first time we saw and learned about the tree’s declining health. It was sunset and the rocks had a magical reddish glow.
Lastly, for now, our recent visit two weeks ago, at age 10, we were heartened to see the tree still there.
The title of this post was inspired by Philip Glass’ haunting score for one of my favourite movies, “The Hours,” adapted from Michael Cunningham’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel.
I thought about this score and the novel’s message when I was looking for music to accompany my related Instagram post. It was a very fitting score!
My Life With T 
Oh, I love, “This shifting mindset is one of the gifts that this decade in my life continues to bring me.” Yes!
I love family traditions that help us to see how much we are growing since it’s so hard to gauge that on a daily basis. The windswept pine is beautiful and I hope that it continues to survive the conditions.
Thanks for the reminder to fill days with joy, adventure, and connection. Here’s to more of that summer fun!
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Thanks Wynne. It’s the gift of my 40s ahead of knee problems in my 50s. 😂
Family traditions are what I find that I feel the most grateful these days. Summer is just flying by but so many more fun and adventures to be had. Glad to see you are all having a great one too!
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This post resonates with me in so many ways, except for the part where you had to resort to “Ask Google” to reply to a very inquisitive child. 😂 I turned 40 earlier this year, and I do notice signs of aging — I think I should get a pair of glasses now to read because I do what old people do: put anything I need to read away from my eyes for me to be able to see what’s written. 😅 How lovely that you keep the tradition of visiting this particular pine tree alive in your family. There will probably be a time when the tree will no longer be there, but the memories will stay with you forever. And that is the beauty of it.
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Congrats on entering your 40s. They’ll be even more fun than your 30s minus the signs of aging. I have those shifting eyesights too and need to get progressives at some point. 🤓 The tree is a great symbol for living in the now and being present at each moment. 🥰
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It’s crazy to see how much T and the windswept pine have changed over the past decade. And it’s a sad thought about how we, and everything really, are eventually in decline. It’s actually something I’ve been thinking about a lot actually. All the more reason to focus on the things that bring you joy, good health and happiness.
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Time really flies, Linda, and you’ll see those rapid changes in ten years when you look back at Baby M too. 🥰 So true to focus on the things that bring us joy and positive energy and health.
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Again, nobody lives that long to testify the fact.
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Environmental science and scientists thankfully can help us learn about trees and their legacy. There are massive trees in the west coast of Canada – I live in the East – that I hope to see in person one day.
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I didn’t know that a tree could be that old!
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Yes they could. You should look up a Redwood. They are old and majestic! 🥰
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It is so special going there every year and see T growing up is so fun, especially under the tree. It’s a shame somebody doesn’t plant another one close by.
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Thanks Diane. It’s a special place for us. 💕 I learned this week that the park has a special effort to clone the tree and plant its clone all around the park as a way to honour its legacy. Modern science is wonderful!
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I love that idea!
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At 66, you are 2/3 of my age. Instead of focusing on how old I am or all of the problems that come with aging, I focus on all of the good things still to come. The same will be true for you and T. Having a 14-month-old grandson is such a blessing.
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Thanks Pete. You have the right approach. Every day is a gift. And what a blessing it is to also have a grandson. T was exactly 14 months when we adopted him. Such a magical age! 🥰
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I love so much of this – to the witty “ask Google,” to the reality of time and how to spend it, and to be in the moment. Mitch and I visited St. Sault Marie on one of our RV trips – we loved the locks – but the best part of our trip to the area was the UP – is that where you went? Oh, I’ll have to wait for your blog! Thank you for writing about a beloved tree and relating it to life so poetically…💖
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Thanks Vickie! 😊 What’s the UP? I guess I didn’t go to it? 😆 We only stayed the night in Sault Ste Marie – and heard the US fireworks nearby! – but did explore the nearby Algoma area. So so beautiful. I wish we were still there!
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UP or upper Peninsula is so beautiful.
We spent a week touring all the different parks.
We also went at night to Lake Superior with our UV lights and Yooper rocks – during the day or without the special light the rocks look like a typical gray rock but once you shine the light, they are brilliant. I will try to send a picture.
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Sounds just lovely, Vickie! 💕
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oh, I just love this post, ab. it really makes me think about the passage of time, our time here, the past, the present, and how quickly we move toward the future. I love how you’ve documented t with the tree, it is so symbolic. I also enjoyed you sharing your conversation about how the years add up and multiply before you know it, food for thought. not only are you and your hubby trying to make sense of it, but t is also, from a child’s perspective, I think your music choice matched this very well.
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Thanks Beth! 😊 Our passage in time is so quick when we contextualize it against nature, like 2 billion year old rocks. The tree is one of my favourite things in this world and such a blessing to have it to be a marker for T’s growth too. 🥰
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I think the tree knows that it still has purpose and meaning. It’s not ready to quit just yet, just needs a little help from friends.
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I love how you interpreted the post, Deb! 💕 The tree still has so much purpose and brings much meaning to the lives that it touches. And you’re right, it thankfully is getting so much support from friends. I learned this week that the park staff have cloned the tree and planting dozens of it to keep its memory and legacy alive for future generations. An amazing use of modern science that I can get behind!
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What a perfect legacy for the tree Ab! That’s amazing 🙂
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Oh, Ab, such a beautifully written post about the finiteness of life, our passage of time. You are so wise for your years. You’re right, pausing to reflect on this reality allows us to be reminded of what is truly important in life. The memories you are building for T are so special, and right at the top of the list of what’s most important!
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Thanks Jane. 😊 I feel like that lobsided tree on some days so the old soul must match from my physicality too. 😂 Jokes aside, I am so thankful we have these chances to make great memories with T!
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I love how you describe it Ab. “Years and decades blend into each other.” I look at my kids and see little kids. Meanwhile, they now have lives of their own. Writer Gretchen Rubin described it as “The days are long, but the years are short.” Crazy how that works. Ha, ha. Glad you have the chance to live in the moment. Enjoy.
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Thanks Brian. 😊 I love the Rubin quote. It is such a great way to look at life, especially as we look at our own children, the true legacy that we have. 💕
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This, this, this:
“The trick is to fill our hours with joy, connection and adventure.”
Love your poetic soul, Ab. Thank you so much. 💕💕💕
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Thanks Vicki! I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🥰
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