When a Child Loses A Pet

Posted byAbPosted inadoption, cats, Death, FASD, gratitude, love, ParentingTags:, , , , , ,

Our sweet Lanaya unexpectedly left us this week, the first time T has experienced the loss of a pet.

Lanaya was a wonderful part of our family for 10 years and for almost all of T’s life.

She came into the hubby and my life on Canada Day 2015, when we adopted her and our boy cat Kyrie as a bonded pair.

Our previous cat, Harley, had passed away earlier that year and we had been six years into our adoption journey and felt a child was never going to happen. But little did we know then that T’s arrival was around the corner!

This was our first time meeting Lanaya at her foster home. 💕

This is my favourite photo of her.

Unlike our previous two cats, who barely tolerated each other, Lanaya and Kyrie were always cuddling or exploring the world together.

Yes, those two boxes are our previous cats. 😂
What’s this green alien object?
This picture still kills me with cuteness. 🥰
The dynamics in our home changed when T arrived, unexpectedly, 10 months later. I still chuckle at this photo of Lanaya in T’s crib.

Lanaya was smart, caring, kind and curious.

I loved stumbling across this video, from 2015, of playing fetch with her. Such a smart girl.

It brings me comfort she’s now with dear family and friends, including Jenny, who sometimes watched the cats and had a soft spot for Lanaya.

Cats become family and are there through major life moments.

The hubby and I previously experienced the loss of two pets: kittyboi in 2013, who passed away while we were on vacation, and Harley, whom we were both with at the vet during her final moments.

This is the first time T has lost a pet.

The hubby picked him up from school, so he could see her at the vet, where she passed away unexpectedly while being examined.

While she had already passed, it was important that he got to see her to help him process the loss.

He brought her flowers and laid them next to her.

He spent the rest of the day at home and I left the office to be with him. I received the news just before a team meeting and it took a lot of restraint not to bawl in front of my peers as I sat through the meeting before heading home.

The hubby said that T cried at the vet and I could sense his quiet and calm sadness at home.

I gave him space to just be.

When I saw an opening to chat, I shared that the price of experiencing love in life is we also experience the sadness of loss.

But what a gift it is when we have a chance to love someone and to be loved in return.

May you forever rest in peace, Lanaya. 💕

42 thoughts on “When a Child Loses A Pet”

  1. Ab, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Lanaya is a beautiful cat. I know the joy and connection our creatures bring to our lives and the deep sadness we feel when they are no longer with us.

    I am very glad T was able to say goodbye and that he has the beautiful modeling and support you provide him.

    My deepest care to each of you, and your Kyrie, as you navigate this loss. ❤️

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    1. Thank you LaDonna. 🥰 She was a key part of our family and T still mourns her loss these few weeks later. But we are focusing on the joy and connection and so thankful for those memories. 💕

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  2. This makes us understand that in life , what matters most is love for each other, sharing ideas, working together as a team to leave a legacy that even when we are no more, our image still shines bright in the hearts of people that were close to us.
    I am so sorry for the loss Ab

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  3. Ab, T and Hubby. I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand the devastating pain of losing fur family. You wrote a beautiful tribute to Lanaya. And I love her photos.
    I respect that you brought T to say goodbye. I really think it helps with closure. And wish we would’ve done that with our kids when we lost pets.
    Sending love and hugs to all of you-V

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    1. Thanks so much, Vickie. 💕 I know you have pets as well in your family and can understand how they become more than just pets and are like family.

      It was important and helpful that T got to see Lanaya at the vet. I think it helps with helping him find closure in the way he did not get to experience with my Ma, who came back in an urn. 😆 (I use that emoji because you gotta find the humour in how life plays out sometimes).

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  4. Oh, I’m so sorry for the loss. But I’m glad T got to see Lanaya one last time. I remember how sad I was when I lost a pet for the first time. I asked my dad to bury our cat in the backyard of our house, and I think I put flowers on the grave.

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    1. Thank you Bama. 😊 It’s hard losing a pet because they do become a part of your family. I love what you and your dad did to honour your pet. I may do the same when we get the ashes back from the vet.

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  6. What sweet photos and video — and I’m sorry for your loss of that sweet cat. The couple of sentences toward the end of the post speak volumes. Deep, resonating wisdom. Love back and forth is truly a gift.

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  9. Thanks Vicki. Those pictures – a handful from hundreds – bring us joy during these sadder times without Lanaya. 💕

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  11. I was doing such a good job of keeping it together until I saw that last photo of Lanaya’s paw in the hand. I’m so sorry for your loss. I also feel for Kyrie who had such a strong bond with Lanaya. She seemed like such a sweet kitty.

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    1. Thanks Linda. I debated posting that photo but this is a documentation and a glimpse into his journey. There were more personal ones that I won’t post from his final visit that truly break the heart.

      She was a wonderful cat and member of our family and I’m thankful for the many years she was with us. 💕

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  13. I am so sorry for another loss Ab. I feel as bad for T as I do you and your hubby. What a brilliant thing to do taking T to say goodbye. After all, we do it with all our loved ones. Pets are family and when they pass it hurts. I had pets my entire life but once you’re as old as I am the loss is too hard and I can’t deal with it anymore. I LOVE the picture that looks like a two headed cat.

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    1. Thanks Diane. I think we’re done with cats for now and once Kyrie passes (hopefully not for a while). The pain is hard for sure.

      The photo with the two seeming heads in one is one of my favourites. It is cuteness overload! 💕

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  14. such a sweet and loving tribute to lanaya. I know that all of you, including kyrie, will miss her dearly. with this being t’s first loss, it will be one he will always remember and one he will measure all future losses by.

    you were so lucky to have her as a part of your family and she was so was lucky to be a part of your loving family as well. it is hard to think about the fact that our pets most often spend the majority of their whole lives with us and we only spend a part of ours with them.

    sometimes it helped my daughters and grandchildren to make a little memorial in the garden for our lost pets, a special stone painted for them, a plant, a little fairy house, whatever might be memorable for the child. or make a little book with a few favorite pictures and little stories about your pet, or cute things they did, or make a picture, and let it float off in the water, away to be free – whatever might be symbolic and meaningful and when and if the child is ready. sometimes children at school wanted to share it with their class or just the teacher or not at all, and that’s okay. it’s good to let the teacher know, so they can be extra comforting as needed. love to all of you, and I’m so sorry for your loss of your very special kitty ❤

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    1. Thank you, Beth. I love love love the idea of a memorial. We are waiting for her ashes back from the vet and I’m going to suggest that idea to him to make for our garden. I bet he will love it.

      You make such an interesting point about how we are our pets’ entire world – and more so, as our cats are indoor cats. And they are only a part of our day and lives – and we have a larger life beyond our home. It is a jarring truth to realize just how much they hold us close to their heart. 💕

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  15. I’m sorry for your loss, Ab. Processing the death of a beloved pet is hard for any of us but especially for a child experiencing it for the first time. It’s healthy for T to see how you and your husband grieving. Perhaps consider making a photo album for or with T to help him remember good times with Lanaya.

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    1. Thank you, Pete. I really like your idea of a photo album. So much of our lives are now sitting in our phones and I will suggest picking a few photos to make into a Photobook to remember Lanaya by. Thank you! 💕

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  16. I am so sorry Ab, for the entire family. I hope you all hold on to the memories of your sweet girl and look at those pictures often…and share lots of hugs as you remember your beautiful kitty.

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    1. Thank you Deb. 💕 We are so blessed with 10 years and hundreds of photos of her. We will hold these close to our hearts as we go through this mourning journey with T.

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    1. Thanks Brian. I can’t remember where I saw that word of wisdom but it’s a good reminder of how to put loss into perspective. I know you recently said goodbye to Nittany as well. Our pets do become a part of our family. 💕

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  18. What a beautiful post about the specialness of our relationships with our pets. Losing a beloved pet is a painful yet important reminder/lesson in our finite journeys in life and the importance of love, which is everlasting. I’m sorry for your loss, Ab.

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    1. Thank you Jane. You captured my thoughts so well. Our journey in life is finite and so important to appreciate the love in our life and remember that love is everlasting. 💕

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    1. Thanks Margie. It has been quite the few years, hasn’t it? I do feel the loss of my mom and sister have prepared him for this unexpected loss. It is hard, very hard, nonetheless. Here’s to more happiness ahead! 💕

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  20. Oh, Ab, I’m so sorry! Our pets are so dear to our hearts. I love all these photos and that video of playing tag is amazing. I hope Kyrie is hanging in there.

    Sending huge hugs to T as he processes. How incredibly touching that Hubby took T to the vet so he could see her one last time. Heart breaking and meaningful.

    Sending HUGE hugs to you all! ❤ ❤ ❤

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    1. Thank you Wynne. I’m glad that he got to see her one last time, as it helps piece together the thread for him as he processes the lost. Which he never got to do with my mom, as she was cremated overseas. Life is so fascinating in its ups and downs, isn’t it? 💕

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