Lean on Me

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, love, ParentingTags:, , , ,

Who we lean on during the hard times. That is the definition of family.

A few days after T’s birthday party, I got quite sick. Fever over 40 and after a day sitting in Emergency, I was prescribed antibiotics for pneumonia. Yes, twice in less than two years. Fun!

During the four days I was bed-ridden, the hubby took good care of T and I.

Even T laid off the profane language and sarcastic name calling. He was a sweet pea.

As I started to get better, I joked with T, “Are you still going to be nice to me when I get better?”

I could see he was having a crisis of faith. He said quite earnestly, “I don’t know!” 😆

We had a snow day on Thursday, absolutely walloped by snow, and schools were closed.

The hubby and I worked from home and at the end of the long work day, T gave me this lovely art he had created while I was working.

It cheered me up and I gave him a hug.

I often think about how much the three of us lean on each other.

True, the hubby and I do a lot of work to support T. But T also plays an important role in being our support system too.

T has been talking about his mom the past few weeks.

He is aware that she is unhoused and that she’s battled – and may still be battling – addiction.

He told us he wants to take care of her and that if he were to meet her, he would throw away all her alcohol and drugs.

“I will give her nutritious food, like milk, yogurt, carrots.” He said it with such conviction I couldn’t help but smile.

Children have such an innocent view of the world and I want to treasure these moments before T becomes an adult in the blink of an eye.

This past weekend, in addition to a second snowstorm, we celebrated Valentine’s Day on Friday and Family Day today and sandwiched in the middle is the anniversary of when our adoption was finalized in court.

I love that this annual tradition will always unfold in this symbolic sequence for our family.

37 thoughts on “Lean on Me”

  1. My foster parents remembered the day I left them you go with my permanent”placement,” the people who were my family. Until it did not work out. I found out in separate conversations with each of them. They did not know that the other spouse remembered the date. Also it had been April 28, 1970-something. They had not talked about it with each other. Neither of them knew that the other remembered. I was reunited with them in a contentious anger filled reunification effort. That is nothing like the happy times I’ve seen portrayed with other people. I wish I could go back and do it again. I wish I could get over my anger. Or I should say I wish I had gotten over my anger before I had driven them away. Now they are both gone, and all of these events were in deep in the last century by the time I learned that I should regard them differently, it was too late.I hope we get to see the people who matter to us in the next life. I hope we get to remember what we learned this life. I can’t wait to apologize!

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    1. Thank you for sharing your story so openly with me. I’m very sorry there was a lot of hurt and also regret. I do feel optimistic that those we loved and who have moved on know. Deep down, they know. And I hope you have your chance to reunite on better terms one day.

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  2. Sorry to hear that you got pneumonia. Again. Glad to hear you were able to get lots of rest and had your hubby and T taking care of you. Sounds like you there was a lot to celebrate over the Family Day long weekend! And we definitely needed that extra day off to deal with all that snow from the weekend!

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    1. Thanks Linda. I’m feeling much better now. Hate being sick but a necessary part of life. 😊

      Hope you three had a nice Family Day weekend and your backs are still in tact after the shoveling. Can’t wait for warmer Spring weather!

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  6. I hope you continue to feel better Ab. It sounds like the illness was pretty serious. It also sounds like T and your husband showed up in loving ways. T’s artwork is very precious.❤️And, his love for all his people innocent and big.

    Happy anniversary to you all on T’s adoption day.

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    1. Thanks LaDonna! 🙏 Yah, it knocked me out for a few days but am on the mend. 😊 I’m thankful for a caring support team. Made it/makes it all the more bearable. 💕

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  9. Gosh, I didn’t know it was that bad! But it’s really heartwarming to know that T was very sweet to you when you were sick, and how he thinks of her mom. It shows that he really is a kind soul at heart. May your little family always be blessed with a lot of love, Ab.

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    1. Thanks Bama. 😊 It was a rough few days but thankfully I started on meds early on and am now on the mend.

      I am indeed blessed with this little family and a kid who at his core is a caring child. 💕🙏

      Hope you are having a good start to your week! Thankful for a short one over here. 😆

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  10. Glad you’re feeling better Ab. I rarely get sick & whatever was going around, hit me out of no where, lol. Thankfully it was too bad, but because I don’t catch colds or anything often, I was sure I was near death.

    Sounds like you all have had many highlights throughout it all, especially the support of one another. I know for me, my children keep me grounded & have been my greatest support since they were too young to know. Have a great week ahead my friend.

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    1. Thanks Tammy. I’m glad that whatever hit you out of nowhere was not too bad and hope you are on the mend! 🙏

      I think the key to getting through anything, including sickness, is a good support system. And I am so thankful for mine during this recent bout of illness!

      Have a great week ahead too. 😊

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    1. Thank you Deb! 💕 The kindness and concern from T certainly helped a lot. Although he told me to not go near him because he didn’t want to get sick. 😆 It was nice to finally be able to hug him after about a week of safe distancing.

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      1. He does have a sense of humor doesn’t he? And honestly Ab, as an older person who “doesn’t want to get sick” either, I might have said the same thing as T 🙂

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  12. I’m glad to hear you’re finally feeling better. You’d mentioned being ill, but I didn’t realize you had pneumonia. Oh my. Cheers to T for brightening your days and for his big heart. So many reasons to celebrate one another and your family. Hugs to all! 💕💕💕

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    1. Thanks Vicki. It was a fun week-long ordeal and thankfully it’s behind me now. I’m pretty sure I got it from his party and those petri dish kids. 😆 But it was worth it. 🙏 Here’s to family, always and forever.

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  14. Oh no, Ab, I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been this sick. Take care of yourself. You’ve done it again in reaching right into my heart with this post. What a special weekend to celebrate T’s “second” birthday, his adoption. It’s not just enclosed by Valentine’s Day and Family Day, it also includes Flag Day!! Absolutely perfect in every way!!! 

    💕

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    1. Thanks Jane! It was an annoying week but thankfully well on the mend now. 🙏 And thanks for the reminder about Flag Day. Another especially very important date now. What a wonderful weekend it’s been indeed! 🇨🇦

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    1. Thanks Wynne. I think you can understand around how families are defined by more than just blood. 🙏 Thankfukly I’m on the mend and got to enjoy this long weekend with T. Hope you and the kids had a nice long weekend too!

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  16. I’m so sorry you recently were so sick and glad you are on the mend. you are absolutely right, the people we can lean on when we are down or not our best selves are our special people. what sweet heart t has, and that comes from his nature, but also from his nurture, from his two loving dads, even though it can be very challenging at times. what he said about his mom says so much, and the beautiful picture he made for you is pure love on a canvas

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    1. Thank you Beth! It was an annoying week as I hate being sick but thankfully on the mend now. 😊 “Special people” is exactly how I would characterize those people who become family, beyond blood. I’m thankful I have those in my life.

      T is a wonderful kid at his core. It’s hard for most people to see that, as they often see him at his most challenging. But all we can do is focus on the bigger picture. 💕🙏

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