Boomerang

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, fatherhood, Fathers Day, love, ParentingTags:, , , , , , ,

On special days when stars align, the energy we send out come flying back at us.

T recently completed the EQAO standardized Grade 3 test earlier this month.

T’s school was so supportive. He had his CYW’s support to complete the test, as he gets distracted on the computer.

On the first day of the test, T’s CYW sent the hubby and I a lovely text message.

T had to write a short passage on a topic of his choice and his CYW said “T wrote the most beautiful thank you letter in his EQAO test.

“He thanked his parents for taking such good care of him. Thankful for having two of the best parents who love no matter what. Thankful for all the trips he got to go on. Thankful for his swimming lessons. Thankful that his parents love him very much. He concluded by saying that he has the best parents. Omg, I thought I was going to cry.”

It was gratifying to hear this, because parents also need positive reinforcement.

Raising a child is hard, even more so with a disability added on.

During T’s disregulated moments, he can say very rude and hurtful things. No matter how thick my armour has become, his words sting.

I’ve learned through the years to not take things personally and to separate the FASD disability from who T is at his core: a deeply caring loving boy.

On Fathers Day, T made us a beautiful homemade card, the front is pictured at the top.

The message inside – I’m sure it was transcribed by his CYW because there’s no way his writing is that neat! – was so heartfelt:

“I am thankful for my dads, they take good care of me. They bring me to lots of other places, which I’m thankful for. I’m thankful for all the memories and pictures that I got with my dad and papa. I am thankful for going bike riding with my dads and sometimes we go to a Tim Hortons to get drinks. I’m even thankful for going swimming my parents. Love, T.”

We had a relaxing Fathers Day.

T accompanied me to do groceries in the morning then I took the hubby and him for buffet lunch at Dragon Legend.

We then visited my Pa, Ma and sister at the cemetery. They finally put up the new memorial plaque with both my parents info and it felt bittersweet to see this completed and feel final.

It was a beautiful day and the hubby watched T play in the pond at the cemetery where he scooped up four tadpoles and put them back after.

I stood in the shade under my favourite willow tree on the cemetery grounds and soaked in the calm.

On many days when parenting is hard, it feels thankless and one sided.

But on days when our energy and love for T come back like a boomerang, it feels absolutely awesome.

Then the hubby took T to the movies and I took a glorious three hour afternoon nap. 😊

29 thoughts on “Boomerang”

  3. T is such a sweet kid. What he wrote in the short passage for the EQAO and your father’s day card was very cute and thoughtful. You guys really are amazing parents. I’m sure it was nice to feel appreciated. And to have the peace and quiet to take a long nap!!

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    1. Thanks Linda! 💕 He really is a sweet kid… when he’s not calling me a “fucking bitch” during one of his disregulated moments. 😆 Oh this unique crazy parenting journey really teaches me to focus on the big picture and to have a sense of humour.

      The nap was lovely and dreaming of Banff which is getting closer and closer. Everything is now booked and planned out! 😊

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      1. Ha! Hopefully T has a wonderful time in Banff and doesn’t have too many (or any) deregulated moments. It must feel nice to have everything planned out now. Hard to believe it’s already the end of June.

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  5. There is a beautiful soul behind those occasional stinging words, indeed. And I hope the world can see that too. Seeing tadpoles was one of the memories from my childhood that I will cherish forever. And it’s so heartwarming to see T doing just that. He will carry this memory, and many others he created with his dad and papa, for the rest of his life.

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    1. Thank you Bama! 💕 You’re absolutely right. I hope that his light shines bright especially to those who may not often see him at his purest kindest best. 😊 These moments are the ones we will all cherish forever.

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  7. Oh my goodness. I don’t know exactly what it is, Ab, but your posts so often prompt tears…of the BEST possible variety. So much whole-heartedness – I get filled up. Hope you had a wonderful Father’s Day – you and hubby, both. Hugs to all! 🥰🥰🥰

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  9. I don’t know a parent whose heart doesn’t melt when their kid expresses their love in written words. The kindness and love shine Ab!

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  11. And then you sent out this beautiful energy to let it ripple out. Beautiful!! A perfect ending to a great Father’s Day! So glad you and your hubby were properly celebrated! So good! ❤ ❤ ❤

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      1. Your writings are so amazing. I love that T has so many supports at school and loving parents at home. He is thriving! I love that you took a 3 hour nap! We need to remember to listen to our bodies! (Which is very hard while raising a young kiddo, and one who is full of energy!)

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      2. Thank you (Rebecca?)! 💕 We are very fortunate to have good supports in place and I hear you on self care for us caregivers. It is so important as this journey is so exhausting too!

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