After a cloudy few months, we’re spending March Break at a place of happiness.
We booked this family getaway last October, before I knew one of my closest friends would lose her brave battle with cancer in November. Never would I have guessed Ma would pass away a few weeks later.
For better or worse, life goes on. I feel the urgency, the fleetingness, more so than ever.
We returned to the same resort in Cancun, Mexico, that we stayed at last year; it’s a beautiful resort with fantastic amenities for kids.
In the days leading up to departure, T excitedly counted down the days then hours.
For the most part, we are having a good time. The warm weather, sun, pools, beach and restaurants have provided rest and comfort.
The challenging parts of the trip has been T’s behaviour.
Maybe it’s the change in routine, but he was disregulated the first few days – his foul behaviour at the restaurants were embarrassing.
But such is life with a child with FASD – you take the good with the hard.
You remind yourself it’s the FASD you detest, not the child, and every day is a chance for a redo.
We’re now halfway into our trip and the last two days have been great.
With T, there’s nothing that ice cream, waterslides or cotton candy can’t mend.
I’ve carved time for myself – to let the weight of the past few weeks go.
That means eating well (plates full of fresh papaya), sleeping lots, and hitting the gym with Ferry Corsten’s uplifting trance music on rotation.
I discovered a recent work of his that I hadn’t heard before, Surga, which has his trademark joyful melody all over the hypnotic production.
Surga is an Indonesian word for heaven or paradise; a place or state of great happiness.
I saw a deeper message in this seemingly random musical discovery.
As our plane descended towards Mexico a few days earlier, there was a moment when we sank through the clouds.
“Are we in heaven?” T asked.
“No, why do you ask?”
“Because we’re in the clouds,” he said. A moment later, he said, “I think this is where Ama is.”
My Life With T 
Glad you had time to unwind even with T being T😁. Looks like a cool place
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Thank you, Faith. It’s a beautiful place. We did some nature and cave exploration too (next post). 😂🦇
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Wow😁 will def read it👌
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Glad to hear that you were able to go away for March Break and carve out some time to spend with your family, as well as for yourself. Sounds like Surga! It’s too bad about T’s behaviour, but it sounds like you were able to end things on a high note.
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Thanks Linda. The challenging behaviour is part of the course and still glad and thankful to have had the time away with family.
Hope you have a nice week ahead! When is your overseas trip happening?
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It sounds like there were more good moments than bad ones, so I’d count that as a win!
We’ll be heading to Colorado and New Mexico at the end of April for a couple of weeks, which I’m getting pretty excited for. We’ve been doing some small weekend trips here and there and she’s been really great. We obviously can’t do as much as we used to and our schedule (and world) revolves around her, but I’m okay with that! It’s better than the alternative which is doing nothing at all or leaving her behind. We’re hoping to go to Portugal and Spain later in the fall, but we’ll see how this upcoming trip goes first!
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Your plans for the next few months sound so exciting. Do you have family in Colorado and New Mexico?
Portugal and Spain sound wonderful too. Fingers crossed you can make it work.
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I hope this trip helped to ease some of your pain Ab. Another sweet comment by T!
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Thanks Diane. It was a most good trip but with some very hard moments with T. But yes, was good to get away from reality for a week!
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You all so deserved these magical times. ❤️
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Thank you Gary. It’s been nice to get away. Quite a few rough moments with T during this trip but taking the good with the hard!
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I was surprised to see the title of this post. I thought you started learning Indonesian. 😀 I wonder if he got the inspiration when he went to Bali, judging from the Balinese architecture featured in the video. I really like the sweet, innocent question T asked you when you were flying through the clouds. I guess it’s a reminder that it’s the FASD, not the child, that you detest.
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Thanks Bama! I thought about you when I first learned the term was Indonesian. I love this specific Dutch artist’s work because he tends to blend the spiritual with the musical, a wonderful combination.
I hope you are doing ok!
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Trying not to suppress any feelings while functioning “normally” here.
I hope you’re doing well, Ab.
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💕
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So happy your family was able to carve out a little slice of “Surga!” You all deserve it so much!
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Thank you Stacy! It hasn’t been without challenges but grateful for the time away.
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Surga – that’s so beautiful! I love that you are so good at finding that wherever you go – but that you have a week away to rest, eat well, and work out. T’s comment – so precious! Travel is wonderful – but hard. Love your wise lens in which you are able to see T through it all! Enjoy the rest of your week!
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Thanks Wynne! It has been an up and down week with T and quite a few rough moments but focusing on the big picture and this gift of the time away. Last day today then we head home tomorrow. The week just flew by. Hope you and the kids had a nice week too!
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Up and down – I hear you! Safe travels, my friend!
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I am glad you all are having fun, even with the tricky first couple of days. Life does go on, and our loved ones rejoice with our happiness.
“But such is life with a child with FASD – you take the good with the hard.” – I love how you don’t label the behavior as “bad”, but “hard”.
It does make a difference, and it teaches me how to perceive some things differently.
Enjoy fun in the sun!! Blessings!
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Thank you, Ana! It’s been a wonderful getaway, opposite weather from the one you had!
It was been a bit rough to be honest this week but all we can do is to focus on the positives.
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Glad you gentlemen are on a get-away, a change of scenery is always nice. I also love that you used the word “hard” instead of “bad” (times). That is something I have tried to stay mindful of myself because moments can be hard, but nothing is ever really that bad.
I never heard of this song or the artist, I’ll be looking it up now though since you shared some of the lyrics, lol
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Thanks Tammy!
I really trying to focus on language to describe the challenges, as I do find the right labels help me frame how I perceive and then respond to them. 🙏
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Sorry if this comment appears twice! I just got bounced as I tried to post a moment ago…I love Vickie’s comment…see the love beyond the behavior…and cotton candy always helps! 🥰❤️🥰
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Thanks Vicki. I only see the comment once. WordPress can be glitchy.
And yes, cotton candy always certainly helps!
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Thanks for sharing T’s thought of heaven , that’s beautiful❤️
Your comment,” You remind yourself it’s the FASD you detest, not the child, and every day is a chance for a redo.” is a learning moment for all of us need to remember.
Glad you are getting some vacation time and hope you continue to enjoy your family time.
Like T, ice cream solves most things for me, too! 🍦😊
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Thanks Vickie. It’s interesting to see how young ones perceive and process the greater life and beyond.
It’s been a wonderful time away for the most part – some very rough moments with T, but you take the good with the hard, and visit the ice cream shop often!
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Well there ya go- T has made me cry once again.
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Thanks Deb. It was a touching comment. 😊
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Oh, T! He is so precious ❤️
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Thanks Margie. He sure is, when he’s not being a terror. 😆 An up and down week but thankful for the time away. It just flew by. Last day today then we head back tomorrow.
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