Celebration of Life

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, Death, faith, FASD, grief, love, ParentingTags:, , , , ,

On Saturday, surrounded by family and friends, near and far, we said goodbye to Ma.

It was celebration and catharsis.

I am thankful for the last few weeks to reflect and to remember what an inspiring life Ma lived, full of love and accomplishments.

Loved ones from afar, including Philippines and Guam, joined the service virtually.

I compiled a slideshow that highlighted Ma’s important relationships, as a daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, beloved family and friend, and respected colleague.

It felt wonderful to find photos of memories long forgotten, including photos of Ma with former Philippines President Corazon Aquino, whom she once followed on her US press tour.

Press corps with Corazon Aquino at the Presidential Palace.

I was touched by the support of those who joined, including my dear friends, and faces I have not seen in a long time, including Ma’s teacher colleagues from Manila, one of whom was my kindergarten teacher!

I’m seated in front of my kindergarten teacher in this kindergarten graduation photo. She attended Ma’s service with her son, one of Ma’s students. Ma, our principal, is seated in the middle.

T was calm and regulated during the service and interment. He always show up for us when it matters most.

We spoke with T in the days leading up to the service about what to expect and we arrived to the funeral home early so T could have alone time with his Ama before guests arrived.

Unlike my sister’s funeral a year ago, there was no body. It was an urn and so it was a new experience for T that we briefed him about beforehand.

T had a few cries, including during the moments right before the interment.

At T’s request, we let him lower Ma’s urn into her memorial bench, where she will be buried with Pa.

We wanted to include Ma’s glasses with her.

T, in his very creative and thoughtful way, placed her glasses right on her urn.

I can only imagine Ma chuckling at what her grandson had done in her honour.

As the pastor who delivered Ma’s service said, death is not defeat. It is merely a chapter in our journey. I wholeheartedly believe we will all see each other one day in another life.

For now, I intend to honour Ma’s life by living my own to the fullest and to help our T do the same.

39 thoughts on “Celebration of Life”

  2. This is such a lovely tribute to a lady that seemed to have lived such a loving full and accomplished life. Please accept my condolences. May the family find comfort in the wonderful memories, and in the knowledge that this is just a next step.
    Ma is sure smiling at T’s loving way to honor her.
    Blessings to all!

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    1. Thank you Ana! 💕 The memories certainly provide wonderful comfort and I know this is only a temporary goodbye. T’s honoring her indeed brings a smile to our faces too. 😊

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  6. Hi Ab, Your tribute to your mom is both beautiful and touching. It’s clear how much she meant to you, and I’m sure her greatest accomplishments were having you as a son and T as a grandson. Sending you and your family my heartfelt condolences.

    P.S. T’s creativity with the eyeglasses on the urn brought a smile to my face. He’s a special little guy. 🤍

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    1. Thank you Stacy! 💕 The eyeglasses placement on the urn really made me smile as it did many others. I know Ma would’ve really found it amusing and lovely.

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  7. Thank you Ab, for sharing these moments about your Ma’s life and the memories you have. What a lady she was. I didn’t quite understand at first what you meant about T placing the glasses ON the urn… until the picture…then I cried. That young man is amazing and brilliant and so very special.

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  8. so much to say about this post! First off, my prayers for your Ma, may her memory always be a blessing.
    I had no idea that your Ma was a journalist for US Press ! and she met former Philippines President Corazon Aquino, WOW!
    Love the photos in this post.
    My favorite part was your closing: As the pastor who delivered Ma’s service said, death is not defeat. It is merely a chapter in our journey. I wholeheartedly believe we will all see each other one day in another life. For now, I intend to honour Ma’s life by living my own to the fullest and to help our T do the same. XOXO

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    1. Thanks Vickie! Organizing Ma’s service provided a wonderful reminder of how accomplished she was. For a long while, I was only reacquainted with a woman whose health was in gradual and unfortunate decline. So in a way, this was such a blessing and gift.

      The pastor went quite off script and got quite preachy during the service but he redeemed himself with this lovely message about death not being defeat.

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  9. It must have been bittersweet to go through the old pictures of your Ma. It sounds like her family and friends meant a lot to her and her to them. Glad to hear T made it through the service and even participated in it by lowering her urn into the memorial bench. I couldn’t help but smile after reading about how T placed her glasses on her urn. Hope you guys are doing well.

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    1. Thanks Linda! 💕 Losing a parent is a journey, for sure. Many moments of sadness but they are surpassed by moments of celebration, love and pride. I think we will be ok in time.

      We are counting down the hours – yes, down to hours now – before we start our March Break vacation. It will provide some much needed break from the last short while! 🙏

      Hope you, K and M and are doing well too!

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      2. Thanks Linda. It’s been great. A whole lot of relaxing and doing nothing. We needed this. 😊 Hope your week is equally as relaxing!

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  13. Love those photos of your mom’s life. How fascinating that she was part of the press corp during Cory Aquino’s presidency! And you as a Kindergartner? Darling!

    Your description of the service as celebration and catharsis is so good. Loved that T got to play a role and nailed it. Sending love to you all! ❤

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    1. Thank you Wynne! 💕 I’m still trying to figure out how she ran a school during the day then worked as a reporter at nights and weekends. I’m barely able to keep my eyes open at 9 pm. 😆 But she did it. I enjoyed relearning about her reporter years.

      It was indeed both celebratory and cathartic!

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  14. Oh what a beautiful tribute Ab. I love how you ended with the pastor’s words. Death is not defeat. Like you wrote, it’s just a chapter in our journey and we’ll all see each other one day in another life. Wishing you all the best.

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    1. Thank you Brian! 💕 I gotta say, the pastor went a bit off theme with a message about repentance and burning in hell, but I think his intentions were nice. I kept wanting to say, read the room, read the room. 🤣 But he redeemed himself with that lovely message of death is not defeat. 🙏

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  17. What a beautiful service, surrounded by those that loved and admired your Ma. I love that, along with the tears, you were able to smile and T’s clever little gesture in placing Ma’s glasses atop the urn. Death is hard but, as the pastor shared, it’s not defeat. You’re already doing a great job honoring your mother’s life through your own, Ab. 🥰

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    1. Thank you Erin! 💕 Life is a spectrum of joy, sorrow and everything in between and that was certainly true for the service and the past few weeks. Life is so short and the best way to honour it and our loved ones is to live and love to the fullest.

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