Digital Detox: Letting Our Neurodiverse Son Enjoy a Screen-Free Vacation

Posted byAbPosted inADHD, adoption, FASD, New Brunswick, Parenting, summer, travelTags:, , , ,

As I showered before departing on our roadtrip, the hubby asked if we should reconsider not bringing T’s tablet with us.

“Don’t you dare,” I said. “You create your own misery.”

Like the time at the airport earlier this year when the hubby gave T his tablet to pass the time after I told him not to and it led to a traumatizing meltdown before we boarded the plane when the hubby tried to take it away.

Experts recommend limiting screen time for children, no screen time before 2 and two hours a day for 10 year olds like T.

Excessive screen time is linked to problems including aggression and addiction.

Layering on FASD and challenges with regulation and impulsivity, the tablet brings out the worst in T.

We’ve struggled the past year with moments when he swears excessively or rages when he loses an online game – and aggression when we tell him it’s time to put it away.

A few months ago, the hubby and I decided to take the tablet away completely. It was a hard decision, because it’s something that keeps T entertained – and let’s be real, it gives us needed breaks.

But it’s been a great decision.

T fills his time playing with his toys. He goes outside more and spends time with us. He can still watch tv, which for some reason does not disregulate him.

The aggression and challenging behaviours that stemmed from the tablet have greatly reduced – although they persist in other ways.

When we went on our Lake Superior roadtrip in July, we decided to leave T’s tablet at home.

We were worried about what our downtime would look like – because T’s restless energy is endless – but it worked out beautifully.

For our recent two-week visit to New Brunswick, it was a great decision to leave his tablet at home.

T participated in meal time conversations instead of demanding to have the tablet at the table. No power struggles or meltdowns.

He played with his cousin during the first week she was there.

Picking wild blueberries in the woods, which their Grammy made into a delicious cream cheese pie.

Spending hours playing on the beach…

… picking seaglass…

… digging up buckets full of live crabs and quahogs during low tide.

T also went for long bike rides with the hubby and I, with ice cream rewards at the end.

T didn’t ask for his tablet once and the hubby and I didn’t miss the challenges it creates.

T still got to watch tv on his own and enjoyed movie nights with his cousin and grandparents. But it was kept to a minimum. He was having fun doing other stuff.

Yes, there were other challenging moments – but in the grand scheme, it was a wonderful getaway full of warm memories.

On this recent Wednesday, we got up at 3:30 a.m.to watch the Perseid meteor shower.

T saw 1, I saw 2 and the hubby saw the most with 3.

We also saw two planets – the two dots to the right of T’s head – which we confirmed were Venus and Jupiter.

I admittedly also need to reduce my own screen time use. Digital detoxing is one of my active goals and the small steps I’ve taken, which I’ll write about in a later post, have made a difference to my wellbeing.

Looking at the stars and distant planets – with the soothing sound of waves in the water in the silence of night – reminded me of the wonder we can experience when we take the time to look up.

47 thoughts on “Digital Detox: Letting Our Neurodiverse Son Enjoy a Screen-Free Vacation”

  1. It’s like an ongoing pandemic – the amount of screen time adults and children indulge in…bot for work and play….not great for our eyesight either. Deliberate detox sessions are a great idea….and getting outdoors in nature really helps. You’ve inspired me to do a bit more star gazing, that sounded like a beautiful night (and wow, spotting two planets)!! 😊✨

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    1. Thanks Cherryl. Pandemic is an appropriate term to describe the screentime use, especially for children. Because my son had to do virtual schooling in kindergarten during the early pandemic, it resulted in him having to get glasses at an early age. Nature is indeed a wonderful way to detox. 💕 Hope you’re doing well. Look forward to reading about your next travel adventures!

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  2. This post reminded me of what kids did back in my days. We stayed outside all day long but had to drop in to eat supper and then had to be home when the street lights came on. It sounds like T had a wonderful time and with no tablet! I’m happy you three had a good time, it is such a beautiful area. Other than our trip out west, I think T has seen more than I have. Most parents won’t take their kids out in public because it is so challenging. But not you two, you are giving T as normal life as possible. Kudos Ab!

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    1. Thanks Diane. I had similar summers as you, with some tv and old fashioned Nintendo time with cousins mixed in. Those were the best summers and childhood. 😊 Travelling with T is mostly smooth and the hard moments are challenging to experience but in hindsight, seem small and minor. 🙏

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    1. Thanks Gary. 😊 These moments are the ones that fill my heart up. I remember fondly one of your stories of you and Hawklad waking up in the middle of the night to catch a sunrise moment. These are the moments that fill us all with wonder.

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  4. Incredible, Ab! I’m so impressed and inspired because my kids watch too much tablet. It’s a daunting idea to think about weaning them but you lay out the benefits so clearly. I love that you were able to do it and reap such clear and wonderful benefits. You are so right – we need to keep looking up. What an incredible and inspiring post!

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    1. Thanks Wynne! I think all of us rely on the tablets to give ourselves much needed and deserved respite breaks. From all that I can see, you provide Miss O and Mr D plenty of opportunities to explore a screen-free world too!

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  5. It’s unsettling to see how addictive screens are for kids (and adults). I’m sure it was tough to take away the tablet from T, but glad to hear that it’s been a great decision. We’re trying to limit M’s exposure to screens. She’ll have plenty of time later in life to rot her brain. Sounds like you had a wonderful time out east. That pie looks amaaaazing. I can’t remember the last time I went stargazing, probably because I go to bed before the stars are even out! Hope you’re enjoying the final days of summer! Hard to believe school is starting soon!

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    1. Thanks Linda. 😊 Brainrot is apparently a trending word among the cool kids these days as T was talking about it the other day. 🤣 This summer just flew by and hard to believe school is just around the corner. Enjoy the rest of yours as well!

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  7. another Great post. I copied some of it and sent to my kids about screen time

    like you I also need to monitor my screen time, as I sit on the phone, reading your post and writing to you! lol maybe I’ll tackle that tomorrow..

    I love that T gets to do The type of activities that kids in previous generations got to enjoy!

    Bravo on this blog

    ps I am writing you from our new RV in the woods in Chautauqua

    Eventually, I’ll get to blogging about our new travels

    v

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    1. Thanks Vickie! I know one of your grandkids has ADHD and I can only imagine what screentime does to their brain.

      Yes, the irony of talking about screentime using our phones is not lost on me. 😂

      Have a wonderful time in Chautauqua and look forward to reading your travel recaps! 🥰

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    1. Thanks Serena! 😊 Setting a time limit is a great idea. We started doing this with TV as well for T – using a timer. It’s not been popular with him but hey, we’re the parents. 😂

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  9. These are glorious family vacations and the memories will be embedded in every cell of his body forever. Leaving the tablet at home plant him in the here and now and is allowing him to fully immerse in this wonderful experience. I say this as I work to detoxify myself…

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    1. Thanks Margie. 😊 There were a lot of great memories made and I’m thankful for each of them. This summer just flew by and hard to believe that school is around the corner.

      Good luck with your own digital detox. It’s not easy – and I say this as someone trying to do more of the same!

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  11. I love this dose of encouragement for parents, adults…and children. It’s insidious – the amount of screen time we all log if we’re not diligent. Grateful to you for sharing your family with us and the lessons you’re learning with T. So good. Hugs to all! 💕

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    1. Thanks Vicki! Insidious is an apt word to describe screen time use – and I feel its effect on my own use of it and so I can only imagine what it does to young minds. Hugs back to you! 😊

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      1. You are your husband are doing God’s work. T is always shining in his own way, and you both do much to support him and reflect his light into the world. It’s truly inspiring. 😊

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    1. A belated thanks for your comment, Aggie. I agree that our lives can be so much richer with less screentime and more real time! 🙂 I hope your son is off to a great start in his new school!

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  14. How wonderful to read about what happened to T when you and your husband decided to leave his tablet at home! After everything that I had read about the effects of gadgets not only to children, but also to adults, I’ve been trying to be mindful of what is happening around me, not at my fingertips. It’s great to hear how T didn’t even ask about his tablet during this trip. Despite the challenges in raising T, I’m glad you have small wins like this along the way!

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    1. Thanks Bama! 😊 You said it very well – we can all be more mindful and be present, and focus less on our fingertips. I realize the irony of me saying this with my fingertips! 🤣 Small wins are so important on this challenging journey and thanks for celebrating them with us!

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  15. I hope also that as time goes on T comes to understand his abilities to be self creative which also helps him to have self control. You are doing an amazing thing for T by setting limits and allowing him to grow into himself Ab, without the distractions.

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    1. Thanks Deb! I love how you zeroed in on T developing his self creativity skills. I see that in him when he plays with his toys instead of the tablet and it reminds me to stay on this course of setting limits. I really appreciate you validating this! 😊

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    1. Thanks Jane. Digital detox is a real need across all generations. I’m pretty guilty of needing it too. I’ll respectfully stay out of your husband and your situation! 😂

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    1. Thanks Tammy. It was a nice visit with his grandparents. There were a few moments that were challenging and moments where he needed to adjust to not having his device but overall, so many happy memories. 😊

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  18. What a powerful testimonial! It’s unlikely we’re going to shut our kids down completely from their devices (as you said, sometimes we need the break), but limiting their time is doable. It isn’t healthy for any of us to do any activity excessively. Balance is the key, although that’s sometimes easier said than done.

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    1. Thanks Pete. I agree that shutting down screen time is not realistic, especially when kids also use it for school and learning. The key is limiting access and moderating content – especially when the effects are negative, such as on T and I anticipate with other neurodiverse kids too. 😊🙏

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  19. This is one of the best decisions you’ve made for T, Ab. Limiting screen time is really important. I’m guilty of that, but like you, I’ll do my best to spend time in nature for digital detox.

    Such a lovely family. I enjoyed the photos.

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    1. Thanks Hazel. I think we’re all guilty of excessive screen time use – myself included – as it’s the reality of the world we live in today. Nature is a very healing antidote to technology. 😊

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    1. Thanks Beth. As a parent, and I know you can relate, you try to give your kids the childhood summers you either had or wish you had. It’s the latter for the hubby and I and it’s been really gratifying to experience together as a family. And yes, the pie was delicious – especially knowing we helped contribute to it. 😊

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