Post-It Affirmations

An accidental discovery inspired a morning ritual to help send T off to his day on a positive note.

Recently, T was rummaging through office supplies in our cabinet and found post-it notes.

The hubby then drew a word art of T’s name on it. T loved it and carried it with him everywhere, including during the car ride to school and sticking it on his bedroom door.

We’ve had a few rough days the last two weeks: challenging behaviour at daycare and blood curling meltdowns at night.

Yes, we know by now these moments pass, but I am mindful of how responses from others to these moments – including ours – impact T.

Studies have shown that individuals with FASD often have lower self esteem.

T is not lacking in confidence and boldness. But I often think about how his self talk will develop in the long term when he is constantly being called out at school, daycare and home.

Earlier this week, as I was sitting at my desk getting ready for the day, I saw post-it notes.

So I took out markers and drew out the message, “You Are Super! Xoxo, Papa and Daddy” – pictured at the top of this post. I made the “S” in Super like the Superman S.

I gave it to T and asked him to read it – might as well sneak in reading practice. After he read it, I saw a huge smile on his face and he walked out of the room with the note.

I continued getting ready for the morning and as I walked down the hallway, I passed by his bedroom and saw him leaning on his bed looking longingly at the note – for quite a while that I was able to sneak this photo.

This melted my heart.

I love this kid so much – even during the moments when he is driving the hubby and I fucking batshit crazy.

And I want so much for the positive moments in his day to outweigh his challenging ones and for them to be amplified as his inner dialogue.

I added a few more messages over the week.

I want to keep it simple and from the heart.

T asked why I drew a tree on the note above.

I said that the tree was T, growing bigger and stronger each day.

I want to amass positive energy for our T to balance the challenging moments in his day.

Friday was a PA Day, so no school, and T came into my office in the morning as I was working and asked if he could write a note for his two cats.

They have a love hate relationship, so the fact T wanted to do this, instead of antagonizing them, was wonderful.

He came up with and wrote the message and I helped him spell it: “I love you. Xoxo, T, Daddy, Papa.”

I just realized I spelled out Daddy incorrectly.

The cats were hiding under the bed and when T put the note near them, our male cat, Kyrie, started to growl.

Told you, love-hate relationship.

“Did he like it?” T asked.

I paused and thought about how to keep the moment light and positive and I said, “I think he’s a little confused.”

20 thoughts on “Post-It Affirmations

  1. T will never lack confidence because of the way you two are raising him! I love this post as it brought back memories for me. When my daughter was little, I wrote on her napkin that I sent with her lunch every day. She told me she shared the message with all the kids at the table. So one Friday I wrote TGIF. Nobody at the table knew what it meant and she begged me to tell her. Of course I did and she went to school Monday and told everyone. T obviously enjoys your notes just as much and what a great way to keep him reading.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for sharing this lovely story, Diane. I bet your daughter loved the daily napkin messages. 🙂 I know how you feel about those TGIF days and I bet your daughter says that now as a parent too!

      I will have to write that down one day with T to see what happens!

      Like

    1. Thank you, Cherie. They really are the best gifts, even the hair-pulling lessons. I am always mindful that we only get one childhood together and to cherish it for the good and the challenging. 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s pretty amazing how something so small like leaving some words of encouragement or a reminder that you’re loved can make such a huge difference. That honestly melted my heart too to see T making a post-it note for your cats. I couldn’t help but laugh at how you responded about them being confused!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aww Ab, thanks for sharing such an intimate story. Your words along w/ the photo of T melted my heart as well.
    It’s nice discovering new ideas to help motivate T, even something as simple as a sticky note. Without even seeing his face, I could tell he was in deep thought & that tiny gesture of love allowed him to reflect. Such an amazing kid!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Tammy. That moment of him looking at the note killed me, both in a melting my heart way but also in a way where I thought how much hearing something positive stuck with him. If that makes sense.

      And he is an amazing kid indeed! 🙏

      Like

  4. I wonder what affirmations work well for cats?

    And isn’t best practice to call people IN instead of OUT?

    And wouldn’t it be good to have an animated tree?

    [I know a few months ago T was working on a stop animation with his favourite toys]

    When I was a young person we had flipping pancakes on various bits of paper and the pancake would move.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Cats need Whiskas treats. It’s the only affirmation they need. 😆

      You have a great memory about the stop motion animation, Adelaide. I’ll have to remember that for the next one!

      I know what you’re talking about with the flipper paper animation trick. What a great idea!

      Like

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