An accidental discovery inspired a morning ritual to help send T off to his day on a positive note.
Recently, T was rummaging through office supplies in our cabinet and found post-it notes.
The hubby then drew a word art of T’s name on it. T loved it and carried it with him everywhere, including during the car ride to school and sticking it on his bedroom door.
We’ve had a few rough days the last two weeks: challenging behaviour at daycare and blood curling meltdowns at night.
Yes, we know by now these moments pass, but I am mindful of how responses from others to these moments – including ours – impact T.
Studies have shown that individuals with FASD often have lower self esteem.
T is not lacking in confidence and boldness. But I often think about how his self talk will develop in the long term when he is constantly being called out at school, daycare and home.
Earlier this week, as I was sitting at my desk getting ready for the day, I saw post-it notes.
So I took out markers and drew out the message, “You Are Super! Xoxo, Papa and Daddy” – pictured at the top of this post. I made the “S” in Super like the Superman S.
I gave it to T and asked him to read it – might as well sneak in reading practice. After he read it, I saw a huge smile on his face and he walked out of the room with the note.
I continued getting ready for the morning and as I walked down the hallway, I passed by his bedroom and saw him leaning on his bed looking longingly at the note – for quite a while that I was able to sneak this photo.
This melted my heart.
I love this kid so much – even during the moments when he is driving the hubby and I fucking batshit crazy.
And I want so much for the positive moments in his day to outweigh his challenging ones and for them to be amplified as his inner dialogue.
I added a few more messages over the week.
I want to keep it simple and from the heart.
T asked why I drew a tree on the note above.
I said that the tree was T, growing bigger and stronger each day.
I want to amass positive energy for our T to balance the challenging moments in his day.
Friday was a PA Day, so no school, and T came into my office in the morning as I was working and asked if he could write a note for his two cats.
They have a love hate relationship, so the fact T wanted to do this, instead of antagonizing them, was wonderful.
He came up with and wrote the message and I helped him spell it: “I love you. Xoxo, T, Daddy, Papa.”
The cats were hiding under the bed and when T put the note near them, our male cat, Kyrie, started to growl.
Told you, love-hate relationship.
“Did he like it?” T asked.
I paused and thought about how to keep the moment light and positive and I said, “I think he’s a little confused.”