If a genie gave us an opportunity, would we wish away our child’s invisible disability?
I thought about this question all weekend after T and I watched Disney’s Aladdin.
On Saturday morning, with a bowl of popcorn, we snuggled on the couch and watched the movie T had recently enjoyed in class.
I chuckled when T said, “That bird has a potty mouth” in reference to Iago, the villain Jafar’s foul-mouthed sidekick bird.
I told T that’s what he sounds like when he uses bad words. Then he gave me a priceless look in return. If only I had my camera.
When the genie granted Aladdin his first wish, I asked T what he would wish for and without hesitation, he said, “A dog.”
T has a soft spot for dogs but with two cats at home, that ain’t happening – unless that Genie is also a dog walker!
Then naturally, the question was asked of me, “What would I wish for if I ever met a genie?”
Instead of doing house work, catching up on fitness or something of substance, I spent the final moments of my staycaytion thinking about what would happen if I encountered a genie.
Naturally, one of the first thoughts I had – and I imagine it’d be similar for other parents with a special needs child – is to wish away T’s disability.
But the crazy thing was it wasn’t such a clear cut wish for me.
If it was a physical disability, I think the wish would be clear and straightforward.
But T’s invisible disability manifests through his behaviours – and in turn, his personality – and so I would practically be wishing for an entirely different kid.
There is so much of T to love just the way he is.
Even his most frustrating behaviours end up being sources of amusement for the hubby and I once we cool down and commiserate about how fucking irritating yet so wonderfully lovable he is that you can’t help but to keep rooting for him and working hard to help him succeed.
But I also think so much – practically daily – about how his behaviours will impact his future.
So Genie, this is my wish: First off, I love our T for the way he was brought into this world and I do not want a different child.
What I do wish for is for the effects of his prenatal alcohol exposure on his life to be minimal and for him to be continually blessed with the love, supports and good luck to maximize his happiness, good health, independence, positive relationships, success and fortune in all stages of his life.
That was one wish by the way. The trick is to cram it all into one sentence without having it be a run-on sentence; use semi-colons if you have to.
We spent the rest of Saturday out in soothing nature.
I enjoyed my solo hike at the Moccasin Trail from the previous day so much that I took the hubby and T with me for a late afternoon hike.
We let T lead the way which meant we skirted the water rather than stay on the paved path. I loved watching him freely explore, including walking under a giant iron train bridge.
There was a branch tied to a long rope tied to a tree, so he had to give it a swing… or twenty. Brave kid!
The late afternoon sun was magically soothing.
It was the last day of winter and Spring was hours around the corner.
It was 13 degrees and the air was fresh and all of our moods were so positive.
At that moment, as the sun was setting, I really couldn’t have wished for anything more.
And what about you? What would you wish for if you had the chance?
Beautiful, Heart warming and inspiring share Ab. Thank you. If I met a Genie, I wish no more pain in the world and everyone just happy and in peace. I wish that everyone is just equal in everything, no rich, no poor, no middle income. Heaven on Earth, that’s my wish.
You might need more than 1 genie. 😂😂😂 But it certainly is a very noble, pure and worthwhile wish. Let’s hope it does truly happen. We need to move things on the other direction based on the way things are going right now!
I need to find the King of the Genies then . 😀 it’s nice to dream for better things, makes everything seem hopeful. Thank you.
What a tough question to contemplate and what a thoughtful wish. The Moccasin Trail looks pretty nice and I can’t believe how it’s not completely crowded with people considering how lovely it was outside.
Thank you, L! The trail was very nice. If I had more time, I would walk it all the way from midtown to downtown one day. There were people for sure but we kept to the water rather than the paved path and because we went near sunset, it was less packed. Definitely have to wear a mask if you go cuz of people.
Hope you had a nice weekend hike too!
I agree – if it were a physical disability that would be easier but I wouldn’t wish for a different kid either. D and I had a similar talk recently – if we had a ton of money kind of thing. I said I would be so happy to pay off all of our debt, have the money for everyone’s college, and be able to fix (and maybe even update) all of our home repairs. D said he would give it to the homeless and those in need. When I told him we had needs too, he said, “not like theirs. They have much bigger needs.” I felt awful about myself and agreed to give the money away, somewhat begrudgingly. D is way nobler than I!
D is an amazing kid! And he gets his noble qualities from his parents. 😊 So great job and kudos to you and Bob!
The money wish conversation is always an interesting one. I would agree the natural reaction is to want to support your loved ones’ immediate needs. So nothing to feel awful about at all! 😊
What a heartfelt post Ab! You truly are amazing! I would wish for peace in our world with no discrimination, for better health and to travel the world.
Thanks Diane! It took up more of time than it should have thinking about this and distracted me from doing other things. 😂 I would agree with your wishes as well. If I had to pick just two from your list, as I’m technically down one wish already, I’d pick world peace and harmony and good health for my loved ones. Which would make the third one easier to do, I guess. 😊 Now we just need to find a genie!