The hubby and I took out T’s baby book a few Saturdays ago. We were feeling nostalgic. For the first time, we shared its contents with T.
Contained in this scrapbook are photos and letters from T’s first 14 months of life, before he moved in with the hubby and I and became part of our forever family.
The book was lovingly put together by T’s foster mother, who had been with T since his second month of life.
The hubby and I treasure this book so much, because it provides us with a link to the moments in T’s life that we were not a part of.
When we first open the book, we see a lovely letter T’s foster mother typed up that described T’s early days – details about his birth mother and how T came into the care of his foster family.
Throughout the book, there are wonderful photos of T in his early moments of life.
I love the photos of T with his foster parents, foster brother and foster siblings, because it makes me happy to remember that he had a happy, loving and stable life before he came into ours.
I treasure the photos of his firsts: Easter, Halloween, Christmas and letter from Santa; first smile at 2 months, first time sitting at 4 months, first time pulling himself to a stand at 11 months.
We still keep in touch with the foster family, because it’s important to us that T has a complete sense of self. We last saw them back in February – before the pandemic lockdown – to celebrate T’s 5th birthday.
Since T was three years old, I started incorporating a simplified version of T’s adoption story into our bedtime story routine called “The T Story.”
This year, T started to ask deeper questions about this story and so I used the word “adoption” for the first time and told him that he was adopted by the hubby and I.
Then he started to ask more questions about his foster family, about why we adopted him, about whether or not he was going to go back to his foster family.
I think it’s wonderful that he is asking these smart and thoughtful questions. It means he is ready to have these conversations.
It doesn’t always feel comfortable to answer his questions. But the hubby and I always keep it real and age appropriate with him.
I can tell that T is processing these tidbits – these puzzle pieces that form his big picture of himself.
That’s why we shared the scrapbook with him for the first time a few weeks ago.
It warmed my heart watching him look at the pictures and to see that he was so loved from the beginning of his life.
On the second page is the only picture that we have of his birth mother. The hubby was open and honest that this was his mom.
We noticed that T was very quiet. He did not react or say anything until he moved onto the other photos in the book of himself and his foster family.
I’m sure his mind was processing what it all meant.
It is a story to talk to him about on another day when he is ready.
The T Story is a wonderful bedtime story book you and your Hubby have made for T. It speaks of great love, of thoughtfulness, honesty, and kindness. Wonderful post my Friend. Thanks.
Thank you. We’re very blessed to have this book. It was his foster mother, who take care of him in his first year of life that created it. One of the most treasured items in our home. 😊
I am adopted. What a great idea it was to do this. I had photos from my first three years with a foster care couple. I lost it and it is like a lost part of my life. It was actually stolen. You did the right thing in my eyes. What a blessing it will be for your little boy.
Thank you! 😊 We are grateful to his foster mother for creating that book for him. It is one of our most precious belongings. And I am very sorry about your photos! 😞
I appreciate that.
It sounds like you are handling this perfectly. What a great thing the foster mom did and that you still keep in contact.
I love this book and I’m thankful for the life they gave him before he moved to our life. We know not all kids are as fortunate in the foster care system so we consider ourselves and T so very blessed!
This is a beautiful and loving post. I love the way you are weaving all parts of your sons life into his experience and understanding of who he is and who he will become”. The “T story” ~ Beautiful 🤍
Thank you LaDonna. We’re very lucky we have the pieces to weave into his life. As you know from your work and studies, this is not often the case for adopted children. We are very blessed in this regard!
I very much agree 🤍. This one reason I love reading your experiences and thoughts, your dedication to your young son is truly beautiful to know. 🤍🤍
I agree I can’t imagine the adoption conversation is easy, and it must spark a lot of different questions and thoughts in T, but letting him know his history from the beginning must be helpful. The baby book is so cool! To see that he was loved from the very start. I kept them for all my kids up until they went to kindergarten, and they too love to look back and see tidbits from their childhood that they otherwise would not necessarily remember. Fun little scraps and pictures that bring back different stories to talk about!
Thanks Robyn! The photos are the things I value the most in our house other than the humans and felines of course. 😊 It’s great you have lots of memories kept for your kids too. Enjoy your weekend. Almost there!
This post just melted my heart. That is so lovely and thoughtful that T’s foster mother put a scrapbook together of T’s early months. And it’s so wonderful that you’ve shared it with him and are open about his adoption. I can’t imagine it’s an easy conversation, but I think you’re right that it’s important to let T know where he came from and that he’s been loved at every stage in his life.
Thank you! 🙂 We dreaded this conversation at times over the years but we’re glad we’ve been open. I can say though that there’s been some hard reactions (that’s another post) but it’s part of the process of processing this information for a young child. We are lucky indeed!