The hubby and I took out T’s baby book a few Saturdays ago. We were feeling nostalgic. For the first time, we shared its contents with T.
Contained in this scrapbook are photos and letters from T’s first 14 months of life, before he moved in with the hubby and I and became part of our forever family.
The book was lovingly put together by T’s foster mother, who had been with T since his second month of life.
The hubby and I treasure this book so much, because it provides us with a link to the moments in T’s life that we were not a part of.
When we first open the book, we see a lovely letter T’s foster mother typed up that described T’s early days – details about his birth mother and how T came into the care of his foster family.
Throughout the book, there are wonderful photos of T in his early moments of life.
I love the photos of T with his foster parents, foster brother and foster siblings, because it makes me happy to remember that he had a happy, loving and stable life before he came into ours.
I treasure the photos of his firsts: Easter, Halloween, Christmas and letter from Santa; first smile at 2 months, first time sitting at 4 months, first time pulling himself to a stand at 11 months.
We still keep in touch with the foster family, because it’s important to us that T has a complete sense of self. We last saw them back in February – before the pandemic lockdown – to celebrate T’s 5th birthday.
Since T was three years old, I started incorporating a simplified version of T’s adoption story into our bedtime story routine called “The T Story.”
This year, T started to ask deeper questions about this story and so I used the word “adoption” for the first time and told him that he was adopted by the hubby and I.
Then he started to ask more questions about his foster family, about why we adopted him, about whether or not he was going to go back to his foster family.
I think it’s wonderful that he is asking these smart and thoughtful questions. It means he is ready to have these conversations.
It doesn’t always feel comfortable to answer his questions. But the hubby and I always keep it real and age appropriate with him.
I can tell that T is processing these tidbits – these puzzle pieces that form his big picture of himself.
That’s why we shared the scrapbook with him for the first time a few weeks ago.
It warmed my heart watching him look at the pictures and to see that he was so loved from the beginning of his life.
On the second page is the only picture that we have of his birth mother. The hubby was open and honest that this was his mom.
We noticed that T was very quiet. He did not react or say anything until he moved onto the other photos in the book of himself and his foster family.
I’m sure his mind was processing what it all meant.
It is a story to talk to him about on another day when he is ready.